I have a wonderful three year daughter. Okay my problem, and I'm a little embarrassed, my little girl still has her binky. I told myself when she turned three that was it, no more binky. I held true to my word. I did a whole little thing that she would understand. I told her a Binky Fairy was going to come and take her binky to a new baby who really needed it and the fairy would leave her a gift. She was so excited by this and I went through with the story. Well, I held out for three long hard days. I can say I have never seen her like the way she was without her binky. Night time was horrible, like she was totally going through withdrawls. It was breaking my heart!!! She became so angry and never got a lot of sleep. I could not handle seeing her so upset so <GULP> I gave her back a binky and told her I held on to one. It has gotten better. I only allow her to have it at nap time and night time before bed. So how will I ever get her to give this up. A binky is her comfort source to sleep. I'm so embarrassed that she still has to have it but feel awful to make her go cold turkey without it. Any help on how to lessen the blow on my daughter and making this binky go away would be so wonderful.
Thank-you everyone who has responded.....it has really helped and I can see that maybe I am the only one that is worried by it. I am so glad that I am not alone in this battle and other parents have gone through it as well. It's funny how you think your child is the only one having the issue.................so thank-you all again and I'll be taking everyone's advice!!!
I cut the end off of my son's pacifier and told him it was broken. He still continued to hold the broken pacifier in his hand at night while he slept for many months until he didn't need it anymore.
S.
I wouldn't worry about the Binky, who does it really bother (harm) you or your daughter? I took my daugher's away when she was three - that was a battle that wasn't worth fighting (and looking back I wish I would have just let her have it, I regret making such a big deal out of it).
With my son he quit soon after entering kindergarten. I explained to him that he wasn't a baby anymore, and we just talked each night about it. Asked him to keep trying harder, but that I understood it would take time. Then one day (about two weeks later) I noticed that he hadn't sucked his thumb for a couple of days. Boom, Done - no worries, no pressure, his decision. I am sure seeing all other kids at school not sucking their thumbs or using binkies either was a big help.
If she is only using it at nap time, and not during the normal day, then just let it go until she is a bit older. It's just a source of comfort. She won't do it forever, they grow up way too fast to even worry about it.
Good Luck!
A.,
Believe it or not, your daughter will give it up when she is ready. It may not be when you want it but she will give it up eventually! Like you said, it is her comfort for sleep time so how can us mothers take "comfort" away from our children! Just explain to her that it is for naps and bedtime and she will give it up when she is ready. My daughter still has hers and she even has to have it out in public. A couple of times people have said to me, don't you think it is time for her to give up that thing? I simply say, it's her only comfort thing she holds on too and I will raise my daughter how I see fit. They really don't know what to say after that! LOL Good luck and I personally don't think you should be embarrassed by this because it is your daughters comfort item! Let her be comforted! :-)
A.- What if you liked listening to the radio when you drove and your mother took your radio out of your car and said you couldn't have it anymore- or whatever it might be that gives you a feeling of security and someone came and took it away- I know that sounds harsh- but really... She isn't going to kindergarten with it. Do not be embarrased that she still has her binky. She knows what she wants and it makes her feel safe. In a world where kids are rushed here and there and don't necessarily have a ton of stability, they need a constant- one thing that represents security to her and she has found that world of security in her binky. Believe me- she will give it up when she is ready to do it. My five year old took a bottle every night until he was 3 1/2. Everyone gave me their opinion about it- but when he was ready, he told me he didn't need it anymore. My 2 1/2 year old still has a binky and his time is limited to naps and bedtime and I know he will give it up when he is ready, but until then- his binky and nite-nite (blanket) represent all that is safe and comforting. Who am I to shatter that and take it away from him. Good luck- and keep up the great work.
I think everything your doing and/or have done is good. The fairy story was a great idea; and changing to nap time/bed time only is a good start. I also was concerned about the same thing with my son. However I am not where you are quite yet as my son is 2; I too only give it to him at nap time and bed time and eventually I will take it away all together. My mom watches my son on thursdays and she never gives him his pacifier before she puts him down for a nap and he just goes to sleep....????? Go figure.
Does your daughter sleep with anything else at night? What about trying to give her a new "comfort" toy to sleep with? You don't have to do this exactly but maybe something like this.....Let her know ahead of time the fairy's will be coming soon to give her pacifier to a new baby soon. Let her pick out a new "toy, blanket, object" she can sleep with. Then let her sleep with both maybe for a few days then take the pacifier away.
Does the "big girl" thing work at all. Meaning telling her she's a big girl and big girl's do this or that. ???
I would just try to switch it out with something else and take it away cold turkey. I would do the first one at nap time. I now it's hard. I too have a hard time just listening to my boys cry. It breaks my heart and I have literally cried myself just listening to them. They cry so bad it makes you feel like your are hurtnig them, physically. So just know you are not alone with those feelings.
My kids have seemed to adjust to things pretty quickly (when I stopped nursing, moving from bottles to sippy cups, etc). Kids learn quickly.
Don't know if this helped but I just suggested what I'd do.
Best of luck to you. Let us know how it goes!
don't feel bad my daughter had her binky till she was about 3. I did make it so that she could only have it in bed. I actually took her off of it mainly because it was a safety hazard. She would chew it and they would start to break. I told her when I gave her the last one that when it broke that would be it. When I found it broken I had her throw it away and say good bye. She would cry for it but i would remind her that she had thrown it away because she was a big girl now. You need to replace this habit with anyother one. unfortunately the one we end up giving in on is messing up nightime potty training because she gets a drink in bed now. You may try going to Build A Bear and have her make a night night buddy. Somebody that will be there to comfort her to sleep at night.
Good luck,
A.
Hi,
We went through the same thing. I swore by 3 it woould be gone, but it wasnt until almost four. I did the same thing with the only at night and nap that she was allowed to have the binky. This worked. I tried several things with her and ended up giving her the binky back, just like you. Then one day when she was close to 3 1/2 the binky disappeared while she was sleeping. The binky left her a card and a fairy doll to watch over her and said he had to go. The binky was old and had to go with other binky's to be happy. She was excited until night time approached. So I did everything to try to help her to get to sleep without the binky. I was determined not to give one back. So I told stories, I massaged her head and back until she fell asleep without it. She would cry if she woke up in the middle of the night but I did the same routines over and over. Stories, massages to help her sleep and held her tight when she felt really bad. By the 5th night she was free of her binky. She doesnt even remember how attached she was now. She was so attached she would come home and tell her binky, "I missed you while I was gone". She thought the binky was a real person. So needless to say your little girl can do it too. Maybe start out with only naps and bed. Tell her the binky has to go soon. The binky told you so. Prepare her so she is ready, even though she will never be ready. Then let it go and stick with it. I can feel your pain. I did this for a long time. I was embarrased and wouldnt tell anyone she still had it. It is shocking how once the binky is gone they forget and dont go back. I cried when she was in so much pain but it only lasted a couple of days. Good luck. Dont stress, once it happens it is so nice its gone. I saved her last binky and someday will tell her how hard it was.
My baby is 1, so as far as the binky issue goes I don't really know when to take them off. But, my daughter uses her binky too, as a sleep comfort. Just think of this like the transition from sleeping in your room to sleeping in her crib. They have a few rough nights, maybe a week or so. The issue is security. So, it will take some adjustment and may not be comfortable. But, giving in will only make her feel as if acting out will give her what she wants, which is to return to her binky again. If you want some incentive, just think of how much you could be paying out later in dental bills. Kids who suck on binkys for too long have permanent damage to the allignment of their teeth and ultimately end up needing braces later. But, the bear idea from the other mom is a good idea. I just thought I'd share the long term affects as an incentive to get her off of them sooner. I may use it for my baby soon... but we'll see.
