Binky - Spokane,WA

I am a firm believer that a binky is much easier to get rid of than a finger and if she needs to suck then she needs to suck.

Next time the friend says something about it stop...just stop what ever you are doing and look at her and say "Stop". Ashe her "Do you realize you are constantly nagging me, arguing about this, and I am done with it. We are different moms and I love you, you're my BFF but this has to stop. I don't want to be around you anymore if you can't just stop.".

This should get the message across and she may have good valid reasons for keeping on you about this. Maybe she has buck teeth that needed years of braces from sucking a binky when she was little. Who knows better that you"? But this will let her know you heard her and chose not to follow her suggestions.

be honest..tell her to shut up. :)

Personally, I would just tell her that it's your decision and ask her to keep her comments to herself. Good luck. I'm learning people will always have their ideas on what your child should do..

My daughter didn't give hers up til she was 4. Same with myself.
My son didn't give his up until shortly after his 3rd bday. His was basically on accident...... He bit through every one of them and we were camping when the last one was destroyed by him chewing on it.
So no flack from me! ☺

I just kept telling those that had an issue with my kids having a paci that it wasn't their decision, dental bill [if they used that as an excuse because my teeth are fine and so are both of my kids], or kid and they need to shut it.

I've never understood why other people [outside the immediate family unit] have an issue! It's not their kid!!!! Completely confuses me.

My original pedi [sadly passed away] told my mother and myself to not make it an issue. "They won't be going to college with a diaper and paci..."
That pedi was basically part of the family. My mother went to him while he was an intern. My aunt, uncles, cousins, kids, and my husband and his brother all went to the same man. He was the best pedi and kindest man. So, did I trust him? With my family's life!

tell her outright... my kids used it to two and even my three year old occasionally used it when we had our second daughter, it was her security item. None of her Dr. or Dentists were worried either. However I got flack from SOOO many parents about it. I eventually would just say "its my decision if this was your kid you can do what you like" I said it with a smile and I dropped any more conversation about it. Most people got the hint and when she threw the last one away and stopped using it, NOT a single parent that I know made any comments about it.LOL

C.:

I don't think I'm one to ask or answer!! My son didn't get rid of his paci until he was 6 - he only used it at night but still it was horrible...there are times when he still wants it!! URGH!!!

It took a while for Nicky to get over the comments...I just stopped answering them and would deflect to another subject - not always the best route but that's what worked for me.

GOOD LUCK!!

My son 2yrs 3mos has his. He primarily uses it at nap, night and in the car. I know he won't go to college with it :). His use of it however dictated the classroom he went to for daycare. One set of teachers appose it like the plague and made it very clear - no binkies. Uh whatever, next! Jake gives his up at breakfast and is COMPLETELY OK with it!

I have TWO friends that think I'm crazy not to take the binky away. I tell them 'this is our choice. He has a lot going on in his little life and if this is his way to soothe himself - and keep some sanity in our house - so be it'.

Nor would I worry if she used the Binky at 3 years of age. Tell your friend you each have different ideas. As the children grow up it will become apparent whose were better. That should help her shut up.

Hi C.,

I would just say to her...."I really respect your opinion on giving up the binky at 18 months however we have a different opinion and our pediatrician is OK with it. For now we're not planning on taking it away but we'll let you know when we do".
It's so frustrating when people give their opinions over and over when obviously your's differs! Good luck :0)

How about. "Thanks for your advice, but both my dentist and pediatrician said there is no need to start worrying about it until she's over 3yo." I've never heard of anything that says a baby "should" get rid of a binky by 18 months.

Our first was _huge_ into the binky, and she got rid of it by 4, with a little help from her parents. (We "broke" the binky by snipping off the end, little by little.) Don't do this until she's a little older though. Our second never took one. Some need it, some don't.

First...don't consider this a lecture - just sharing my experience, perhaps to ease your worries about the transition...I have two kids. My son (who is now almost 6) had the paci until he was 3. Dentist had no concerns, said it was fine, etc. He had a bunch of other transitions (potty training, new house, bug bed, etc) right around 2, so I let him have the paci until he was 3. Mostly, though, i think I did it because I thought he In was so attached...he was only allowed to have it in bed after 2. We took them (15 or so pacifiers) to build a bear on his 3rd birthday, stuffed them inside, he NEVER asked about one again - he knows they are in there, but never said, I need a paci to sleep...With my daughter, who is 2.5, the dentist WAS concerned with the way her teeth were growing. So, we took her pacis 2 months ago, she was MUCH more attached, and did the same thing - only one bad nap, and she has also never asked for them...I totally thought they would never be able to sleep without the paci, both did just fine (neither one substituted their thumb).

As for your friend, I don't understand - does she watch your daughter during the day? I would simply say, "We obviously have different opinions on when --- should stop using the paci - my doctor and dentist both have confirmed that it is okay to use until the age of 2, and that is when we will stop using it." I guess I don't understand why it is that big of a deal, unless you are with this friend on a daily basis...

None of my children used them, but I sure wished my twins would have. LOL! Seriously, it's none of your friend's business. Thank her for her concern and just say you have it under control and ask her to leave the subject alone. A real friend would understand it's something you do not want to discuss and will not debate.

You know your child better than anyone and if you feel it is appropriate to keep the binky, then keep it! It's a lot easier to get rid of than thumb sucking which can definitely cause issues with teeth! When you are ready, talk to your daughter about getting rid of it and set a date. And count off the days so she is prepared. And maybe put it in a special place or offer a replacement like a teddy bear or new doll since she is now a "big girl." Kids respond well to transitions when there is preparation and understanding.

My two oldest boys had them until they were almost 4 yrs, though not all day after they were two. Our doctor and dentist weren't worried either and my boys don't have any problems with their teeth now at 9 and 10 yrs.

Just talk with your friend and respectfully ask her not to comment on it anymore. Be honest with her that you feel a little differently then she does. She may not realize how much she's doing it - a good friend will understand and stop. You can be firm while still keeping the conversation casual. Don't make a big deal out of the "talk" to avoid embarrassing her and making her defensive. Best of luck!

My son held on to his binky like it was a lifeline! We actually started out by only giving it to him during naps and when he was real fussy, but as time went on, he seemed to want it more (it went from a suckle need, to a want). My mom found the bye bye binky method ( www.bye-bye-binky.com ), printed it and suggested that we go with it. At first I was a bit mad at my mom, but I soon got over it. The method worked amazingly well. My son stopped sucking on it after 4 days! He proceeded to carry it around for another week, but never put it in his mouth. He then got tired of carrying it and simply lost interest. Mom was right, it worked, highly recommended!