My husband is about to come home from Iraq next month. My daughter 15 months now and I have been staying at my in-laws house in TN for a year next month but will be moving to Kansas November 14. She has a crib in my room that she sleep in (mostly all night if she is feeling well). My father-in-law is building her a 'big girl bed' for Christmas that is going to Kansas with us where she will have her own room. I am worried that all the changes will be to much for her a upset her but the crib is not our so we can't take it with us. My question is how do we help her deal with all these new things? She also hasn't seen her daddy in person since February when she was 7 months old. She has seen him on Skype and loves talking to him on the computer and phone but I am worried about how she will deal with him in person she still thinks the phone is 'daddy'. I need help with how to help her so any advice would be welcome. Thank you.
She will be fine. Kids are so resilient and you will remain her primary caretaker.
Our friends just adopted a 5 1/2 year old from another country who doesn't speak English. She has only been here for 2 wks and is doing great. Your daughter will be fine.
Is your husband in the military? If so thank you both for your service:)
Okay. My husband left when my older daughter was 2 months old. When he came back for R&R, she wasn't real keen on him. There was no connection in her mind between the guy on the computer screen & the real thing. Granted, like I said, she was only 2 months old when he left. That said, I think you're right. I think that is a LOT going on. She's going to be re-adjusting to her Dad being home. Hopefully, he is prepared for the possibility that she won't want anything to do with him. Obviously, that will change over time, but initially, it could be rough for him.
Regarding the crib and the need to transition to a "big girl bed," I would say put the bed in your room initially. She's used to sleeping in the same room as you. Pulling her out of the crib, into a toddler bed, AND out of the room from Mommy is going to be a lot with a "new" guy (I know he's not actually new, but 9 months is over half of her current lifetime) running around the house. After you feel like she's adjusted from the move & having Dad home, I would say try moving her bed to her own room.
Best of luck to you, and hopefully since she was a little older when her daddy left, she'll warm back up to him quicker! Hopefully my husband will follow yours home!
The changes won't be as big a deal if YOU don't make them so. Kids are so adapatable to changes, and most of the time we don't give them credit for being so!
15 months is fine to transition into a toddler bed, some have been even younger, and from what other moms have shared with me the younger the child the easier it was for them to transition. One mom told me of her 23 month old who wrecked havoc on the household for 4 and a half months when they moved him to a toddler bed, but when her next child was 14.5 months and climbing out out of his crib into the toddler bed he went, never to get out or cause problems, just slept and waited for her to get him up in the morning! Get her into a bed ASAP, or at least remove the crib and put the mattress on the floor, so she doesn't associate the move with Daddy now being there. Start her in it where her crib is, then move it elsewhere, even a hallway, so she gets used to being in the bed and out of your room before he is home, again to not associate the move with him being home, and it would then not be so traumatic when she goes into her new room when you move. (This is the same thing you would want to do if she was having a new sibling, make the changes before the new arrival to eliminate as much animosity and resentment as possible.) Use baby gates anywhere you don't want her having access to.
Adjusting to Daddy is separate from the crib near you to a bed in another room. Don't force him on her, but don't allow her to cling only to you if she resists, build some "daddy/daughter only" time into your schedules so she gets reacquainted to him one-on-one. Have him "talk" to her on phones, real or play, right next to her so she sees this is the same daddy on the phone in person.
Please thank him for me for his service to our country, and enjoy the rest of your life with him!!
16 months old is pretty young to move to a toddler bed, even without all the other changes. Is there any way you can find an inexpensive crib on Craiglist, Goodwill, is there a military wives network in Kansas that you can tap into, or somewhere else? Otherwise, I predict that there is no way you are going to keep a child that young in a toddler bed - I think she is going to end up in your bed. If you are ok with this, great. But if not - do whatever you can to find another crib.
Oh, and I think that Sarah R's advice is also great. Even in a crib, your daughter will probably adapt best if you put the bed in your room for at least a little while until she adjusts.
