"Best Friend" Biting and Hurting My Child

Ok, here's what I would probably do. I've done it before when a problem arose with my daughter and her "best friend" and it worked out well. Invite the friend over to spend the night one Friday or Saturday night. Then, simply get the girls alone together and casually bring up the subject that you hear they are having some problems at school and we need to figure out how to make it better. Don't act mad or accusing, just be calm and matter of fact. See if you can get the little girl to talk about what bothers her and then have a good three person heart to heart about real friends and respecting. I'd end it all by gently saying that if we can't get along then we may have to take a break from each other at school for awhile. It may help this little girl to think twice since she knows that you know what's going on. And believe me, she won't run home and tell mom what she's been doing so you can feel confident it will stay between the three of you. There's just something wierd about a seven year old biting, that's just way too old for that kind of behavior...

The child is obviously acting out and needs to be dealt with immediately. Tell your daughter that she is worthy of having friends that do not do these kinds of things to her. My youngest daughter is 5. We just went through the same situation. I immediately reported every incident with her teacher. The teacher separated the children and I have distanced my child from the “best Friend”. I told his mother that our children do not get along well.

Something similar happened to my daughter with a very close friend - I spoke to the parent and was very sincere - it turned out very well.

Okay, if it were me I'd be calling the mom, but if you choose not to then you have to take other action.

Just tell your daughter that if her friend can't treat her with respect than she will have to stop seeing her. Tell her friends do not hurt friends. Friends do not make the other one worry about getting the other one in trouble when something wrong was done.

Tell her she's deserves to be treated well and that she needs to tell her friend "Friends do not hurt friends, so if you hurt me, I will have to stop hanging with you." No ifs, ands or buts.

Give her these lessons now before she finds a boyfriend that slaps her around then tells her how sorry he is and that he'll never do it again. Till the next time...

She can't change the friend. She can only give her friend a choice. And she can take herself out of the situation so she doesn't get hurt.

I agree with starting by telling the friend that they can't play together anymore. This will be a very difficult thing for your daughter to do. I would be very encouraging and present it in a way that shows that by taking a stand her friend will learn self control. She will be helping her friend out with this lesson. The other thing she can do, possibly, is to be aware just before her friend becomes too excited, she can back up and very firmly say "NO!" Since your daughter is so young you might role play this with her so that she will be more prepared. If this behavior continues inspite of this, then I would talk to the teacher and to the mom. Obviously the the teacher needs to be close by and watching them play. Many blessings with this situation.