Believing in Santa Claus

My 8 year old daughter is also a 3rd grader who believes in Santa. I will allow her to have that joy because I know it won't be too much longer. The oldest I've heard of believing is 10. I think I was about 9-10 myself when I stopped believeing. I feel sorry for the kids I hear about who no longer believe at such a young age like 1st grade.
Good job Mommy! I bet you have a happy kid too.
T. H
Raytown, MO

My nephew still believed in Santa when he was 10 years old (awhile ago). When the kids at school told him there wasn't a Santa, he said that he got a nintendo for Christmas and he knew that his parents couldn't afford it, so there had to be a Santa. He actually had some of those kids wondering if they were wrong. :) I'd let them find out on their own.

I would wait until she asks. Then explain, the history of Santa Clause: The real Santa Clause was a Turkish Bishop who lived in the 4th century AD named St. Nicholas. He was very generous and kindly toward children. The celebration of his life, St. Nicholas Day originally was celebrated on Dec. 6, the day he died. Eventually, this celebration merged with Christmas and due to the poem by Clement Clark Moore, "The night before Christmas" We have the image of a jolly fat santa that we have today. So, yes, Santa really DID exist and we celebrate his spirit of giving every year.

For more, check out http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=38

Well, my son is 13 and we have never publicly said there is no santa. The closest we got was "you know there is no such thing as magic right?". But he also knows that if there is no santa, then half the gifts will disappear on Christmas morn :) so he has no trouble keeping it up for me at least. I am under no delusion he knows the truth, but I am 38 and my father still makes sure I get presents from santa.

When he was younger, and kids at his christian school would say there was no santa because you couldnt see him, we would point out that you cant see god either (or the wind). We wouldnt deny it, just would make them think a little. I made sure he was armed with a few arguments that made them doubt themeselves a little.

When he was about 7 or 8, I had a talk with him along these lines... You know how when someone farts and everyone is looking around and someone says "it must have been the dog"? :-) meaning no one ones to fess up and take credit? They all just look around saying "it wasnt me!" Well, sometimes you want to make people happy for no other reason than it makes you happy without getting anything in return - even credit. If you take credit for it, it makes it a little selfish. So imagine someone receiving a gift like that, the first thing they do is want to thank somebody because it makes them so happy. So they look around, but everyone is shaking their heads that it wasnt them. And finally someone says "It must have been Santa". Basically what I told him was that Santa was very real - he just doesnt look like what you think. Sometimes he looks like me, sometimes he looks like Grandma, sometimes he looks like your neighbor. Santa is a way of giving anonymously with no expectation of credit and with the sole purpose of making someone happy.

Then we made a pretty basket with some little gifts in it, and he took it over to an elderly neighbor's house and put it on the doorstep, rang the bell and ran back home. We looked out the window until we saw her answer the door. She picked it up, and smiled really big as she looked through it, then she looked around for who sent it. Finally she went back inside still smiling. My son saw all this, and I told him "Today, Santa looks like you". It sank in pretty good for him. (By the way, my neighbor was warned ahead of time, and graciously played up her responses for me :)

Kids know and understand a lot more than we give them credit for. As far as the tooth fairy... again we have never acknowledged anything, but my son no longer leaves his tooth under the pillow at night - he leaves it on my desk :) And that is where he has to look to find his money - same as if it were under the pillow.

Good luck - enjoy the imagination while you can.

Keep the spirit alive!!! I am 31 and my mother still tells me their is a Santa...she has never slipped. Now, I know thier is no santa, and when i was about 6 or 7 my brother and I found all of our presents in my parents closet a week before christmas and my parents explained it that santa brings what goes in our stocking and mommy and daddy buy us our presents. Fooled me for a little bit, but I pretty much knew from that point on. What is wrong with a little imagination...even when you are 31!

I still think it's ok for her to believe in all of those my son's in 1st grade and my niece is in 2nd grade and they still believe.Maybe you and your husband can say ok when she gets to be this age we will tell her if she still believes. Kids need to be kids and I think that's all going out the door now and days! Good Luck

J.,

I think everyone handles it differently and you need to decide what is best for your kid. I have two teens and a 10 year old. We have never told any of them. The oldest ones continued to perpetuate it for the younger ones. One time my 7th grader said, "mom I know I'm the only one who still believes in Santa, but I just don't want to give up the magic." What could I say to that. Our tradition started because my older sister did this with her kids, basically telling them that when they no longer believed they would still get gifts from their parents but Santa would not longer come.
On the other hand, a younger sister believed kids needed to be sat down and told and that worked for her. However when she passed that idea on, another sister told her 5th grade son and he cried- not because he didn't know at some level but because he didn't want to give up belieiving. she was soo sorry she did it that way. I would suggest figuring out what works for your kids and your family. Only you can figure that out.
MaryS.

I think it is okay. I was worried about my son being teased alos, especially since I just transferred him from a private to a public school. (the kids in his class at the private school all had little brothers & sisters) My son just started the fourth grade & he's knows there isn't a tooth fairy, so I know the others aren't far behind. I know most kids do find out early (I did) & I have had people argue & tell me I just don't know my kids very well if I actually still think they believe (this was last year). You can just tell if they don't. Also, one of my friends had pointed out that my son went to a private school as she did too, & she she thought that had something to do with believing longer because there's less kids, less talk...? She doesn't have kids, but her & her husband were "arguing" over the fact of it being possible for kid to believe past first grade. Sorry for the rambling, but as I'm sure you know she will probably find out in the next year.

I agree. Keep the magic alive and let her believe for a while longer. There's really no harm. Someone in school will probably end up telling her, but I think that's the case for most kids. No big deal.

J., I totally understand where you are. My son was in 5th grade when I finally said this is it. I have to tell him. So I told him and his grandparents gave him a phone card to call santa claus. He was so convinced he started believing again. I just came straight out and told him and then I was sorry that I did. If I had to do it over again I would not tell him. I think your daughter will figure it out on her own. I guess I just kept Christmas magical which kept him believing. Isn't Christmas supposed to be magical?!?

Good Morning J.. Personally I still Believe in the Spirit all of these things carry. There was a Real St Nick.

Anyway I would wait until she asks you if the kids were right .. Then ask her what she believes.
We as parents and gr parents carry on the spirit of giving that St. Nick represents, just as St Nick carried on the spirit of Giving of the Father through giving us his Son.

It will be fine J., it's all about the spirit of things. How much fun we make these events in our lives.
Our Gr Daugther Tia (10) knows, and she is excited to help with the secrets of giving.

God Bless

K. Nana of 5

I wouldn't worry about it. Kids are pretty good about being cool when other kids start talking about Santa, etc. My kids all acted like they were so mature and savvy at school, like they'd known for ages what the "real story" was, while secretly they still believed because they wanted to. I don't think your daughter will get teased.

I just told my 9 year old. It wasn't planned it just kind of happened during a conversation we were having about what she wants for Christmas. She had a long list of expensive things and I reminded her that mommy quit working this year so there won't be as many big gifts under the tree. She said, "that's fine, I'll just expect Santa to bring them all to me". At that point I told her that mom and dad ARE Santa and we are on a budget this year. She wasn't crushed and replied with, "I always figured you were Santa!" She then trimmed her list down to some mall store gift cards. That's all she wants. She said she doesn't want me to pick out any presents because she wants to shop herself. Since she gets presents from other family we are going to put the gift cards in her stocking and I'm getting her the yearly fleece blanket and PJ's under the tree. She's excited and I feel she was ready to know the truth. I asked her to not tell the littler children yet. We would let them know later on when they are ready.

She is too old =) Time to tell her the truth.

I'm all for letting them believe until they figure it out themselves. My daughter believed until 5th grade, along with alot of other kids in her class. My son is 10, in 5th grade this year, and so far still believes in everything. It will probably be his last.

My daughters are in 1st and 4th grade and both of them still believe. Now my oldest daughter has come to me a few times over the years and said that someone at school said there is no Santa or no Tooth Fairy, etc., but then I always respond with "what do you believe?" So far, she has always said she believes, (even though I think she suspects otherwise.) I am letting her take the lead, and when she starts to ask more questions I will know she is ready for the truth. Right now it is fun for her and she is not ready to let that go. So why not keep the magic of childhood going as long as we can?! They will have plenty of time to face the harsh reality of adulthood soon enough! ...And no one has teased her. She even has one good friend who was told years ago by her parents, and she just plays along because she doesn't want to ruin her fun.

My daughter is in the 5th grade and still believes (wants to believe). Last Christmas she mentioned that her friends tell her he doesn't exist, we just tell her they don't know what they're talking about. Usually she dropped it. If she would have questioned it more, we probably would have told her then. We will probably talk to her very soon. This would probably be the year for teasing if we let it go any further.