Being Financially Responsible..

Poor people don't take vacations. Not even once every three years. THAT would be jet set where I come from.

Counting blessings makes for a better day than counting entitlements. :)

Dave Ramsey says "live like no one else so that one day you can live like no one else!"

...meaning that if you sacrifice now to keep yourself debt-free, you'll reach a point where you can pay cash for things, stock your retirement, and live the lifestyle you'd like. It's like the "eyes on the prize" mentality.

Also, I remind myself that there will ALWAYS be people who have more than I do, so it's not worth playing the comparison game. We like to dream though!

You build little splurges into your budget. If that means you eat egg sandwiches for dinner instead of having spaghetti with meat sauce, then do it, knowing you will use the savings on _____.

Then maximize the splurges. Picnic lunch after a day at the park. Make juice pops in your freezer for after you get home. Make Pizza for dinner on Friday night and watch a movie with it, with all the lights down. Or put the kids to bed, and have pizza and wine and then popcorn with the movie with all the lights down. ;)

Be super super thrifty with the grocery budget and then on Friday make homemade chocolate chip cookies to have as dessert fresh from the oven. Even if you make your homemade ones from frozen pull-apart pre-made stuff. Fresh from the oven, is fresh from the oven!

And trade child care with a trusted friend, neighbor or relative. So you and hubby can go to a movie "out". Or go walk in the park. Or just go window shop and share a splurge like a cup of coffee "out" while you browse the bookstore.

When it warms some more, use a cheap plastic pool in the back yard to beat the heat. Lots of cute photos of a smiling child splashing in the water go a long way.

I don't envy the Jet set. I don't really know anybody in the jet set. So why would I envy them? The closest I get to that is my ex-SIL who travels a lot for her work. And I know that that gets old, too.

My husband and I went on a brief honeymoon when we got married. 6 years later, that's the only time we've ever gone on a vacation or overnight. Shoot, we haven't even had a few hours without my son here in...I don't know...2 years??? This winter, we are going to the Gaylord as a family for a few nights. You know what? I'm EXCITED!! I really, REALLY appreciate that we can get away and have a wonderful time. It feels incredibly special and I can't wait to make wonderful memories. We are planning all the little Christmasy things we will do, and we just can't wait. I know people who take a a vacation, to a couple vacations a year. They don't even enjoy themselves anymore very much. They have to make arrangements, worry about how much they will spend, have someone pick up their mail...blah blah blah. I think it's because, it's their normal. It's not special, or they are so used to vacations, it's become a pain. (Incidentally, they all have various money problems.) We EARNED and saved this vacation. It feels good, dang it! And, we're not in debt. It's "worry free" fun, in my opinion. We still get back debt free.

<<not a jet setter here by any means, but i think i know what you mean.

life is one big compromise. you give up what you can live without to get what you can't live without.

myself personally, i don't think i could ever be unemployed. it's not in my dna lol. we're different that way, and that's okay.

another way i suspect we're different: i would not give up family vacations. not every year, but at least every other year, we do SOMETHING. even if it's camping. (which my husband hates). but we do SOMETHING as a family. honestly i feel it's worth the financial hardship. i grew up in a lower income family with four kids - and some of my best memories are riding to florida in the back of a pickup truck with a camper shell on it (a 2 day drive for us) to camp on the beach. my mom has admitted - they couldn't always afford to pay cash for those trips - but she doesn't regret the credit card debt one iota. i don't have credit cards so technically everything we do is "paid for", but i have let a bill or two slide to fund trips. i don't apologize for it. my son is only a child once. and we are now (after taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University) getting into a place where we don't have to worry so much, so that is awesome. but i have always put a very high priority on family time like that. i think it's priceless. so to me it's worth more than the dollar amount. i wouldn't give them up.

this summer, we are being very careful (again, thanks to Dave Ramsey's class) but my son and i are still going to a family reunion, which will include camping at a lake, and a surprise 80th birthday party for my grandma (his great-grandma, who he is really close to). i wouldn't miss it for anything. you can't get that time back.

you can do it cheaply. it doesn't have to be a trip to europe, or disney world. it's about the quality, not the quantity :) good luck, just my perspective!

Good for you!!! Delayed gratification is tough but rewarding.

Debt is evil.

We are not jet set but we are fortunate to live well. No matter how much $$ we bring in... We still look at the bottom line of. ,,,, Daughters college fund which is fully funded but we fund more for the what ifs and our retirement which we don't skimp on either.

We take great vacations, just not yearly. When we vacation, we do it right and we don't go into debt doing it either.

I applaud you for being financially wise, saving, and understanding that debt is not your friend.

E S,
Anyone can live in a climate of debt! Personally, I'm not interested in that.

Think of it this way--it's always smarter to live within your means, right? No matter what you earn, there's always the danger (or temptation) to go off the deep end.
Sure there are people that can easily afford stuff and not go into debt. But I think that mature, responsible people realize that you can't always have what you want when you want it! It takes some people a LONG time to learn that lesson!
If you're fed, clothed, sheltered and safe--you're blessed!

When I was single and poor......

We camped in the living room.
Camped out of the car at state parks
Took a lot of fabulous day trips

I recommend purchasing a AAA membership or perusing the thrfit store for the AAA books in your area. They are loaded with great ideas, and often free entries on certain days of the month.

Have fun!!

We have also been like your family. No vacations away. No real vacations really at all.

We do go camping at our local parks.. It is only a few dollars a night. Or we take day trips to other little towns for festivals. (always with our own cooler and food). This way if we see a nice spot, we can get out and have a meal or a snack.. It feels like we are on a little vacation.

We used to even camp in our back yard when our daughter would have friends sleep over. They loved it.

We attend events in our own city on an annual basis and make them "yearly events"!

Like here in town the first Sunday every March.. Is the kite flying contest.. It is a free event, but because we have made it an annual event! We really look forward to attending.. Usually with another family that used to be our neighbors.. Now that the kids are in college, we still go just for fun.

When the family asks us what we want, sometimes, i used to say, tickets to an event.. Or to a place like the big water park close by.

We also have friends with huge homes and swimming pools, we let them know we are happy to "house sit, pet sit".

One of them actually pays me to take care of her pets and encourages us to either stay there the entire time or as much as we want. .. They usually go out of state for 6 weeks during the summer and a week at Christmas.

This is a huge vacation for us, even though we are still working.. just being somewhere else is wonderful. Our friends love it, because we are taking care of their house and it is obvious it is not empty for all of those weeks.

Remember the life you are living.. Is considered quite glamorous to people that do not have as much as you do..

I understand EXACTLY what you mean. In fact I posted a question here not long ago about an anniversary destination for us, our 3 yr is coming up and we never really had a honeymoon.
So after crunching the numbers, ($2500-$3000) we have opted to use the money for some stuff around the house, replacing the grill in the outdoor kitchen and building a porch cover over the outdoor kitchen. We see it as an investment to the home.
But we sooooo wanted to go on a trip and get away from the 'grind' for a week or so.
My point being maybe there is a compromise to be made, because we are still going to get away for a long weekend to satisfy that 'urge'. Good luck.

E.S.

I'd rather be financially fit and responsible than going back to the days when the credit card bill would come in the mail and I would say "I REALLY spent THAT much???"

Be VERY happy that you are able to survive while being unemployed!! Just imagine if you were a credit card dependent family and how hard it would be right now to pay the bills!!! Would those "memories" of jet setting really give you comfort?

I'd MUCH rather take weekend getaways than a high-priced vacation to keep up with the Jones'!!! Give you an example - I have some friends that are doing well...on Friday we went out to dinner. She was talking about the vacation they are planning this summer...for a family of five - for 7 days..the HOTEL ALONE is $9K. I am NOT kidding you. Can they afford this? Yes. This doesn't include the 'attractions' or meals. This is JUST FOR THE ROOM. Do I envy them that? Nope. They've earned it. Do I wish I had $10K to spend on a vacation? yes. but I'd rather have $10K in the bank earning interest or in the stock market making me money....call me greedy. but after the year we have had...I'd rather have money in the bank!!

YOU GO GIRL!! Keep going with those minivacations!! Enjoy your time with your daughter!!! Good luck in finding a job!!!

I am not working right now, but my husband is financially savvy so we don't feel deprived. Before we had a child, we both worked as hard as we could to pay off our debts. After our son was born, we figured out that if I worked part time, the cost of daycare would eat up most of that. So I stopped working and we cut back on expenses for awhile. I did feel deprived at first. Wanting to buy a 25 cent can of soda from a vending machine, but having no cash. It got better, and things are great now. I work hard at not NEEDING to buy things. I can build a playhouse from the scraps of the neighbor's deck, patch holes in clothes, grow tomatoes, check out movies from the library, research online how to repair the washing machine, etc. My husband works very hard at buying thing WISELY. Finding good deals, using coupons, and comparing prices.
We have taken several great long family driving vacations. He is very meticulous about planning, and will print out a list of possible stops along the route while still leaving some room to be flexible. He looks online for good deals on hotels and restaurants. He buys annual passes(to places like theme parks, museums, state parks, or botanical gardens), and then plans a route based on other sites that offer free admission with the same card.

How do you cope with being "financially responsible" without feeling too deprived? --- You enjoy what you are doing and what you have, you enjoy your life. You let yourself see the wonder in life. You take your mind off of what you don't have or what you're not doing and put it on the here and now and do something worth doing - it can be seemingly the smallest things, but it's how you're doing it. You may not be able to do big things but you can do little things with big love.
Recognize the lessons in life and try to see them as opportunities for growth and expansion for embracing more love in your love. You can go anywhere in the world but without joy and love what good is it. It's not places, it's what's inside self.
A sense of deprivation brings on more deprivation and leads to frustration which leads to anger.
It's all in how we see it. How we use our minds. Putting expectations on things often leads to disatisfication.
Envy is not something you want to nuture.

We have a saying around our home when we complain about things that are "wants" not "needs". This would be called a "First World Problem."

I remember that with my son's current age and what he is and is not capable of that a vacation (with the fam) would not be enjoyable and going just me and my man would be too expensive (child care, even with fam helping) and it would just not be much of a vacation at all.

camping was our thing when the boys were small and so was our checkbook. so wonderful!
house-sitting or swapping is also a great idea. it's SOOO expensive to pay a farm-sitter to come here and take care of the house, horses and dog and cats when we go away, i'm always so grateful if i can find friends who will do a mini-vacation here. they get paid (less than we'd pay a farm-sitter but still something) and they get to be 'somewhere different' which is always fun.
my parents house-sit for their best friends in bermuda whenever the friends take a vacation. that's the deal i want!
:) khairete
S.

I took the sour grapes approach, ya know, they took a lame trip anyway. Not mature but it got me though the lean times.

Oh I remember those days. Our vacations were visiting family. We would drive and spend a week with my parents and ILs. That was our family vacation for many many years.

We are now more financially secure and are able to take "better" vacations. Took the kids to the Dominican last year. We have a time share. That was a very good investment for us. Its all in how you look at it. Why not take the family for a night out or you and hubby. Sometimes when we feel deprived we do a little "something" so we feel better.

I guess I don't really get any "wonderlust." We don't even do overnight vacations. I try to do a "day trip" every year, but last year we were really "strapped" and busy. I think this year might be the same. I just try to find things I really enjoy at home and allow my son's friends to visit more often. We enjoy playing outside, gardening, etc. I enjoy painting the house, redoing furniture, etc. You can go on picinics, but my family isn't the picnicing type. :( There's also parks and trails...window shopping....etc.