Beer or No Beer?

There doesn't need to be beer at the party, especially if it is by the pool. Who is going to be watching the children when the adults have social time? If anyone has an accident on the way home you could be sued for serving beer, even if they just had one.

Sorry, if I come on strong I just have a very strong opinion on this.
J.

I agree with the other posters. I think you've invited a lot of people to the party and your son will be inundated with gifts and the simple fact of those coming to celebrate with you and your husband. In return for their time and generosity I think offering some beer and/or wine is appropriate. I think a keg is probably smart because it's cheaper but I think it looks a little tacky. You don't need to buy enough for people to get wasted but at least have it available.

My son's party is this weekend and were having about 20 people and handful of kids and I fully intend on serving beer, wine and wine coolers. My friends/family would be SHOCKED to come to one of my parties, regardless for the reason of celebration and have no alcohol offered. Especially an outdoor summer party!

I don't think it's up to your friends/family to teach your children morals about drinking. That's you and your husband's job and frankly if someone does get drunk and stupid it's a good opportunity to discuss with your kids how drinking impairs you. Plus are you really inviting anyone you think would do something inappropriate? Maybe that's the better question, is anyone invited who would take advantage of the drinking and if so maybe they shouldn't be invited?? Just my 2 cents. I have to agree that most first birthday's really aren't about the baby. He could care less. He'll be thrilled to have so much attention, some cake and new toys.

Good luck and don't worry I doubt you'll have any trouble and just keep it to a minimum to reduce costs. Happy birthday to your son!!

I don't drink but for my daughters 1st b-day I had beer, wine and mix drinks I look at it this way these people brought a generous gift for my daughter and I respect that most people like to drink.The last party I went to without beer ALL the guest were not happy and stayed for a short time.If you can not afford it cut your guest list in half. The people that had a keg were smart it the cheapest way to have enough beer for everyone at least they thought about their guests.Its a celebrations you can not expect adults to drink pop or koolaid.
I think it looks really bad....sorry

Beer at a kids birthday party?? No way! I think you're first instinct on this was right.

We have some drinkers in our family but my husband and I go by what we are comfortable with and don't provide it just to please others. They should be able to have a good time without beer. They can live without it for a day. Although you want your relatives to have a good time, the day is not all about them, it's about the kids and your son. What is best for the kids?

Okay, I'm going to be the odd ball here. I don't think you have to provide beer unless you want to AND if your budget allows it. If you want to say thank you for gifts and time that people are generously giving, SEND THANK YOU CARDS. I think it's great to provide food and soft drinks that all can enjoy but to me, beer and wine turns this child's party into a party for the adults and it's not about them, it's about the baby. My suggestion, set a start and end time for the baby's party. For those who remain afterwards and want to have a bit of grown up fun, I'm sure they won't mind making a beer run.

Be sure to let us know the outcome!

M.

I also have a family of drinkers, and a pool. For my son's first birthday party we invited a lot of friends and family and provided beer. HUGE MISTAKE! The party had an end time on the invitation, however once the beer was flowing, we ended up with lots of people that stayed till 9pm, when I finally had to toss everyone out because it was too long. My family was in town and we had plans to go out to dinner after the party but because we still had people partying they had to go on without me. It definately put a damper on the situation. However since it's at your MIL's home, you have an out and can leave when you're ready. Also my husband got into party mode with his buddies, and was a little imbibed when I needed him to help me host. We set a rule now, and there is no alcohol at the kids party's from now on. If I were you I wouldn't provide it, if they bring it for themselves, fine. Beer for 60 is EXPENSIVE!

I think that offering a bottle of beer with a meal is one thing, but having a keg party at a 1-year-old birthday celebration is quite another. How about just buying a 12-pack or two of some nice microbrew and leaving it at that? If people want more, then they should supply it themselves... I have a family of drinkers, too, so I've confronted this issue multiple times already (our son is 3). I don't think that having a bunch of grown-ups drinking all day sets a good example for children. On the other hand, a glass of wine or a beer with lunch seems fine... I just think you want to avoid creating an atmosphere that's more about an adult party than a child's birthday. Beer doesn't really go with cake and ice cream anyway : ) How about making a nice fruity sangria or something instead? Or offering some chilled white wine and some bottled beer on ice?

I am of Irish descent and my husband Mexican. These cultures are big beer drinkers. We have provided beer and wine at our parties. I have never had a a party around a pool though... Since it's your mother in laws house you might want her input on it. I have a sister who doesn't serve alcohol- she likes it that way but permits people to bring it. I agree with one of the moms, people are bringing gifts and paying for things and that can be a nice thing to offer them. You can start them with some beer and then if they want more they can get it themselves. People are very aware of DUI'S these days and in my opinion they either stay home to get really drunk or watch it while they are out. In the event anyone is misbehaving, show them the door.

We are having our sons gradution party in a couple weeks and the same questions was placed at our house. My husband and I do not really drink but a lot of friends do, so we decided this is our party for our 17 year old who does not need to see a bunch of people drinking. I is going to be an alcohol free party.
I would go with your instinct and not get beer children do not need to be exposed to people drinking. have soda and bottled water, and juice available for everyone in a cooler. Maybe some ice tea in a pitchers.
Also did you know that if someone gets drunk at your house and drives drunk home and get in an accident that you could be held liable. Because you served them the liquor. Just a thought.

S.

A keg is a little much. I would get a couple of cases. Once it's out, it's out.

I think it depends on the crowd attending. My family and my husband are beer drinkers... our friends drink beer, and my husbands family are wine drinkers. For my son's first birthday, we had it at a park district, and it was only a few hours long, so alcohol was not in the equation. Is your party an 'open house' with no specific end time?

Personally... I think as a host to any party, you take into consideration what people want to drink by offering a variety... pop, diet pop, water, juice boxes for kids, etc. And in my opinion, offering beer or wine is just one of those things that a good hostess would offer knowing that her guests drink it. I don't think this needs to be about morals... it's really up to the parents to teach their kids about alcohol drinking, doing it responsibly, etc.

You could get just a couple cases of cans... which are less expensive than bottles, say Bud Light and Miller Light, and that should keep the drinking to a minimum...

I threw my husband a surprise 30th birthday party (no kids though) and spent 700 bucks on alcohol for 60 people... by 3 am, and quite a few cab calls later, there was only a few bottles left... I wouldn't encourage that kind of party for your son's first birthday :)

I would offer the alcohol, in a limited amount.

Get the beer. In my opinion you are inviting people to your home so provide what they like.

My husband and I don't drink very often. We never have beer in the house unless it's left over from a party. When we do have parties we will go out and buy some MGD bottles and some Corona with limes. Enough that if someone wants one, they are welcome, but I don't feel the need to provide an endless supply of alcohol for 40+ people in our family at a child's birthday party.

A keg at a child's party (to me) is a little over the top.

I wouldn't make an issue of it by saying anything or whatever. But, I'd go get a few 12 packs and put them in a separate cooler for the adults that are interested.

Just my .02.

Good luck

One more idea....how about you provide soda and juice boxes but tell everyone if they want beer or wine to BYOB. Have a plastic tub with ice and water in it for them to throw the beer in to keep it cool. Just say your budget can only handle the food, decorations and non alcoholic If they really want a beer they can fork out the bucks for it. We go to a cook out every year where the hosts provide soft drinks and ask everyone who wants beer or wine coolers to bring 1 6 pack of something imported---it's a fun way to try a different beer and no one is stuck with a huge "bar bill".

DH's family likes beer and mine does not. We have beer available at all the parties, even the Christening (65 people). We just buy a few cases, not a keg, since most only have 1 or 2 due to the driving. However, if you're not comfortable with the beer then don't have it but be prepared for the backlash since some people just like to complain. Don't stress too much about it since there's going to be so much going on that day. Have fun at the party!

We had both beer and wine (not a keg) at my son's first birthday. Honestly, the first birthday is not for your child, it's for you and your friends and family. Which is how we treated it. We had a limited amount of adult beverages, not a full bar, and no one drank in excess.

No one in my family is an alcoholic, we are all responsible adults. However we have drinks at all get togethers. There is nothing wrong with an adult enjoying an adult beverage with a meal or part of a celebration. Many people in my family only drink on special occasions, celebrations. It's not the main focus, it's just there. Like at a restaurant. No one gives a second thought to alcohol at a restaurant, if you want it it's there if you don't you don't.

Like others have said, it depends on your family. We always have beer, wine, and an assortment of non-alcoholic beverages available to our guests. Just like we'll have an assortment of appetizers. I don't even think of not offering alcohol.

I definitely think you should ask your MIL for her opinion since it is her house and pool. See what she recommends first. If she says yes, maybe have a couple of cases of beer and a box of wine. If you run out, you run out.

And I agree with the poster that said 1st birthday parties aren't about the child, they're more of a party for the adults and a chance for the family to get together.

We had the same issue at my daughter's 1st birthday. I decided to get 1 case of beer and a bottle of Sangria. My family / friends surprised me and I had a ton of it left. I didn't put it all out at once, and it seemed they assumed there wasn't that much and just kind of had one and that was it. It was nice. This year for her 2nd birthday, I just had a few bottles in the fridge. No one drank any at the family party, and a few dads had some when her friends came over. I just had it around, but didn't make a big production out of it (i.e. no keg - that's crazy) and it seemed to work itself out.