Bedtime Battles!!

Aren't young children fun? My little boy will be three in June and it's amazing how strong willed he is. You said that she would rather sit on the middle of the room than get in bed, well let her if she'll stay in her room. It won't hurt her if she falls asleep in the floor she may even eventually realize that the bed is more comfortable than the floor. Good luck.

Hi L.,

I have a 3 and a half year old daughter, and went through this same thing with her about a year ago. Here's some suggestions:

1. make sure you have a bedtime routine. You have to start the routine about 30 min before you want her in bed. Our routine is usually bathtime, blowdrying hair, brushing teeth, letting her have water, potty then off to bed. Some people read books but I don't do that with my daughter at bedtime.

2. She is testing you by calling out to you and asking for things to stall the process. You just have to be firm without losing your temper (easier said than done, I know) but you have to try really hard! =) Just firmly tell her no to whatever she asks for. Unless it's something like a drink of water or potty I usually tell my daughter no. If she cries, I just let her cry and act like I am not bothered by it. I leave the room then come back and she calms down, but I don't give in to what she wanted. I explain to her firmly that it is time to go to sleep.

3. One thing a friend of mine does that works for her child, is she gives her daughter two tickets. (handmade with construction paper). She told her daughter she can use a ticket for something but if she uses both of them then she has to give up her dollie. It works for her. I've never had to try it but you could maybe manipulate it a little to work for you.

The main thing is to try to stay calm and patient. Try starting the bedtime process a little earlier so you won't feel such a rush to get her to get to sleep and won't feel as stressful on you. You have to be consistent. She's definitely testing her bounds, so you have to let her know what is not okay. I like to compare it to speeding. If we knew that every time we sped we would get pulled over and written a ticket, we would not take a "chance" on it. But we know there is a chance there won't be a cop around every time. It's the same thing with the kids. If you let them get away with it one time, they will remember it forever and keep trying to get away with more and more.

Best wishes! I have a strong willed daugher also. My best advice is to stay calm.

hi there lil mommy, hanging in there? i was reading all bout your problem and read what others had suggested and did not see that anyone had suggested a bed time story... ever try it? i have to crazy lil boys who know how to keep the energy going to the very end and most times it is difficult to get them calm and sleepy and i found a good quiet story helpful... i get my wild boys out the bath and straight to the bedroom where they pick a book and we all get into their bed together and read... sometimes i read slow or in a very quiet voice so to help calm them then we do prayers hugs and kisses and good nite and when my husband is home we take turns... this is not to say that they are asleep when i walk out the room but i feel the nice hot bath some quiet reading one on one time with mommy calms them to a point where they are ready for sleep. hope this helps good luck and hang in there :)

I have gone through this myself. With my oldest, the only way for me to get her to sleep was to put on a movie and she would fall asleep watching it. My youngest wasn't quite so easy. I had to start a routine of bath, brush teeth, drink of water, pick a book and a baby doll, kisses, then bed time. (And I started 30 minutes earlier than actual bed time.) At first it was difficult. I usually laid in bed with her or sat in a chair beside her and patted her back until she went to sleep, then snuck out. No matter how bad I wanted to scream and cry, I had to keep my cool and stay consistent - no matter how long I had to sit in there and listen to her crying. It took about 3-4 months, but since getting used to the routine, she isn't as bad. Now after her story, I can usually just tell her it is MY bed time and walk on out. She has even started telling me when she's sleepy and wants to go to bed.

I sure hope you find what works for you! Good luck!

I remember those days. okay.. I ended up holding my daughter... and I mean holding. I don't know if this would work for you... but she would sometimes start out alright... we would be reading a book or something.. then I would say, alright... time for sleep. Mommy is going to cuddle until you fall asleep.

Then it started... sometimes crying.. sometimes screaming.. she would try and get out of my arms.

But, I would hold on.. for dear life sometimes.. that child was so stubborn and so strong... lol!

But, after 1 minute of just quiet.. she would tire herself out basically and she would be sound asleep.

You see, she didn't want to miss one minute of her life. And she hated going to sleep for fear of missing something! I remember when she was about 16 months old.. I would find her asleep on the floor with her face off to the side and her bum in the air. lol!! She literally fell sleep while playing!

She is an amazing 7 year old now. Bed time is MUCH easier on most nights.. but we still have a time when she wants to cuddle.

Hugs,
A.

I had the same problem with my three year old son. He used to go to bed rather easly, like my other boys do. But then one day he decided to not go to sleep anymore and make it a huge battle. I then decided to put him to bed after bath and give him the hugs and kissed and if he got up after that, then I would walk him back to the bed, without saying anything and lay him down and walk out of the room. I do this about 3-4 times at night and then he eventually falls asleep. I hope that pretty soon I will beable to not have to do this anymore and he just go to bed on his own like he used to. Just try this and see if it works. She is wanting attention and everytime you talk to her or gripe at her you are giving her that attention and she is getting what she wants. She isn't having to go to bed at that time. Good Luck and hope everything works out.