Bed Time Struggles

have you tried putting them to bed earlier? I'm assuming they sleep in the same room? Maybe put the younger one down 1st? My 3 yr old goes to bed @ 7:30 a my 7 yr old goes to bed @ 8 w/ no problems. Just a thought.

I have a very high energy 2 year old boy, so I can comment on that, but I'm not sure about the 4 1/2 year old. We start bedtime at 7 pm in my house with the goal of having him asleep by 8. Seems really early, but he gets a second wind when he gets overtired and it usually hits around 8-8:30. You may want to try an earlier bedtime with your son.

As far as the getting out of bed goes we just consistently put him back in and shut the door. (Not sure if your son can open doors or not, ours can, but it's a little bit of a struggle so it takes him a little while) No talking, no response, just pick him up and put him back in bed. It took a few days, but now he doesn't really get up. I also spend more time in his room before he goes to sleep than I did when he was in the crib. We read books together, then sing a song or two and then I tuck him in and give him kisses. At that point I sit at the foot of the bed for a minute or two, then move to the doorway for a minute or two, and then close the door so that he can just see me in the hallway and finally close the door. I know that if I leave his line of sight before he is settled and on his way to sleep he's just going to yell for me again in 2 minutes. In my experience spending 10 extra minutes getting him down saves me an hour.

Good luck!

Well, the only thing that worked with my daughter was we eliminated the term 'bedtime' and instead manipulated her with "quiet time". She didn't have to go to sleep - but she had to be in her bed and quiet and not get out with the lights off by whatever time. She could sing (softly) to her bear or she could talk to her bear (softly) but that was it. That seemed to help.

I would also ask i fthey are getting 'attention' by getting out of bed. My daughter is older now, but when she was younger this was the only time I literally ignored her. I found that when she got out of bed to get water or whatever if I said ANYTHING to her or even looked at her we were back at square one.

I think the idea about an EARLIER bedtime is good - or a later one, depending on what time they have to get up. The surge of energy at 8 is probably from dinner food around 6:30???? The other thing I found helpful in general was bigger snack right when we got home (even sometimes sandwich and carrot sticks - almost another lunch) and then much smaller portions at dinner (snack size). But she could then go til b'fast and I know some kids can't.

Also - make sure they are super active from 7-7:30. running, jumping, playing ball - whatever. Tire them out big time.

I also know I didn't feel like I got my life back until she was 5.
Good Luck!

If your kids are high energy and active, quite likely they don't have enough time to "turn it off" when they get tired. You have to make them sit quiet to cool down and enforce that so that you can have a bit of calm and then their little bodies will start getting tired and ready for bed.

Mine are the same way and when they get tired, they get wilder, seemingly look like they want to play and want to sleep at the same time, but crossed between bed and play. So I help them out, let them stop activity for a good 10 mins by just staying still and teach them how to "discipline' their body to relax. They cry and fuss but eventually by then that "tired" feeling has kicked in and they yawn and are ready to sleep. Hope that helps.

I agree that an earlier bedtime is probably the answer. That "surge of energy" you are talking about is a response to being overly tired with an adrenaline surge designed to help them cope. With my 4.5 and 6 yo we start the bedtime routine at 7pm, 4.5 is tucked in at 730 and 6 is tucked in at 8. Doesn't matter if it is summer or not and they know that being light outside doesn't mean you get to stay up - just think of the kids that live in northern climates where it is light 20 hours a day!!! We talk about the science of it being lighter longer in the summer.

I struggle with the same thing with my 4 year old. My husband wants to get him in the bath and in bed by 7:30 because he knows how much I struggle with getting him to bed (and how long it takes). I tell him that there's no way he's going to go to bed that early and that it's still light out. I hear ya on not having that time to yourself in the evenings anymore and feeling burned out. The past few nights he's been getting the surge of energy also. I feel like I need to wear like a catcher's mask because he will slap, punch and kick (he wrestles around with his Daddy a lot so we're used to that). But like you said he will just act like a Tazmanian Devil all of a sudden. It was probably close to 10:30 by the time he finally fell asleep last night. I am interested to see what other Moms have to say :). Good luck and God Bless!

Our kids are 10 & 8 now but I wish I would have had more tips on this subject when our kids were younger. I would try putting them to bed earlier because it sounds like they are getting overtired and getting that adrenaline that is hard to manage once it kicks in. Also, our oldest would not stay in her bed when she was 2 and bedtime took forever. The supernanny has a great technique where you put your child back to bed over and over until they stay there. It's something I've watched her coach parents through a few times on her show and it works! Make sure of course that your child is not sick or has bathroom needs. If all is okay then put him right back to bed. You do this over and over until he stays. It may take a few times or an hour but whatever happens don't give up and cave in. Be consistant and every night it will get better until he gets the idea that you mean business at bedtime. This technique is also explained in the supernanny book as well. Also, if you decide to try this, do it on the weekend when you can do it one night, and then the next night it will be your hubby's turn. It will be exhausting depending on how strong willed your child is but the hard work will pay off in the end. You may actually get some alone time with your hubby. HTH! Good luck!

my struggles as well:
That fantastic "down" time I crave as a parent once the kids are in bed does not exist in my house because I am constantly putting kids back in bed

I haven't watched a DVR'd show in months - can't get through one and get so frustrated......

I will be checking the answers however - fopefully someone has some good tips.

My daughter is the same way. However if you put her down right before the energy serge she goes right to sleep. Wait until after and shes up until midnight! Try putting them to bed at 7:30. Works great in our house.

Here are some things we've found that help (though they don't always work - the 4 YO was up til 9:45 last night).

1. We put a blanket over the window in the 18 mo-old's nursery and have room-darkening curtains in our (almost) 4 YOs room. That helps, though the oldest still asks why she has to go to bed when it's not dark out, LOL.

2. We have white noise machines in both of their rooms. It helps them block out the distracting sounds in the house and outside so they can rest.

3. Have a routine and try to stick to it as much as possible. We have a long bedtime routine, but we need it to help the girls unwind. Here's ours:
- Let them run around outside as much as possible before dinner.
- Feed them dinner around 5:30pm or 6pm.
- Bath at 6:45pm.
- Watch about 10 minutes of a (calming) video and have a bedtime snack (if needed).
- Read two stories.
- Turn on music and snuggle for two songs.
- Lights out at 7:30pm.

4. As a last resort, talk to your pediatrician about giving them melatonin. It's a natural hormone that you can get OTC that can help them fall asleep. I don't use it all the time, but it does work really well.