Bed Time Battles- Nightmares and Fears

Will she be attending Kindergarten in the next few weeks?

Have you all been discussing how much fun it is going to be? All of the new friends she will be meeting soon!
Find some books about children worried about kindergarten and start reading them and discussing this. Not at night, but earlier in the day. She can work it out in her head better.

Also I agree that because she is so busy all day, she could be missing the 2 of you and not even ralaize.

For the nightmares, we used to use "dream coins". To me and you they look like quarters (you pick the coin) but they are actually special talisman that when placed under her pillow keep the bad dreams away!

My mother also taught me that if you have a bad dream, if you will simply roll over to your other side, the bad dreams go away!

Do you know to this day, this still works for me.

well, i'm glad you're ignoring the advice from the poster who is pretty much a one-trick pony when it comes disciplining even the tiniest people.
it may seem counter-intuitive (kids need and love routines) but it may be that your bedtime routine is TOO long and needs to be tightened up. sympathy for not feeling well is great- but if it's been going on for weeks, co-sleeping this far into the game is bound to backfire.
i would put very strict limits around this, while making sure to have done the necessaries to help her cope with real fears, which you are already doing by allowing her to read and keep the light on. i think keeping the moratorium on the tv for at least 2 hours before bedtime should become the rule until this phase passes. maybe longer.
keep to a pleasant but minimal routine (bath, teeth, prayers, story) and then leave. don't get angry, however tempting it must be. do as you would do with a toddler- go in periodically and rub her arm or back, then leave again. don't engage, don't give in, don't yell, don't succumb to pleas to stay. bedtime is bedtime. the light is on, her books are available, it's past time for her to re-learn to put herself to sleep.
never hurts to have monster spray or a dream-buddy stuffed animal too.
she may well be over-tired, her summer routine sounds very fun and very busy. that's where limiting tv time could really help you. after dinner have her wind down with quiet play and books until bath time.
this too shall pass, mama.
khairete
S.

What does TV have with bedtime? It's not an appropriate punishment.

She's 5 not 15.

I suggest you put her to bed and just lay down with her, do not put your husband in the guest room. If you can't manage kiddo let him put kiddo to bed or take kiddo to guest room and sleep in there with her. Hubby isn't doing anything wrong. You don't get to kick him out of his bed.

She knows she is in control of bedtime. If she cries long enough you let her have what ever she wants just to get her to be quiet. So stop.

Either stop putting her to bed totally and let hubby do it his own way or just put the bigger bed in her room and move in.

Does that sound like what you want to do? I wouldn't, I swat the kids when their acting like this and they stop. Then they go to sleep.

Since I don't plan on allowing this behavior hubby took over putting kids to bed. They mind him and lay down and stay there.

Could it be that because she's so busy during the day she's missing you at night? Having you lay down with her may be her way of getting more attention from mom or dad ...

I know our 3.5 yo gets real clingy at night when he hasn't had enough one-on-one attention with both of us throughout the day. When he's had good one-on-one ... He usually stays asleep in his bed by himself until 5 or 6 am ... Sometimes later. When he hasn't, or it's been less than his body thinks he needs, he's padding down the hall to our room much sooner ... Like between 1200 and 2.

Maybe try giving her a little more one-on-one from both parents throughout the day and see if that helps.

ETA - some good information on filling your child's attachment tank ... http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/blogs/andrea-nair-button-pus...

We used the Ferber Sleep Training method book when our DS was an infant. I remember there were chapters on how to address issues like nightmares, sleep disruptions in older children, even adults and teens. You might want to consider the book.

Even the much maligned Ferber though suggests that if you have a child that is sick, anxious, or in a period of transition, or dealing with a life disruption, that you hold off on sleep training and tend to your child.

In your daughter's case, maybe you can start by saying - perhaps your bad dreams are because you are fighting this infection. While you are on your medicine, and if you do not put up a fight, you can choose to sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor of our room, or in your own bed. This way, no fight, and no sleep disruptions, for the time being. Tell her though, that when she is over this cold, you expect that she will remain in bed, and if need be, you will consult a book/ put a plan in place, to make it happen.

Best,
F. B.

We try to talk about our favorite thing that happened during the day right before bed. My DD was having nightmares for awhile and this seemed to help take the focus off of the bad or scary and give her something nice to latch on to as she went to sleep.