Becoming Pregnant, Staying Pregnant

I have a GREAT Dr who has helped many of my friends and family members with the same problem. And I do mean MANY!! He is in Tarzana, CA. If you are willing to drive, you can let me know , and I will give you more information.

I'm sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage a couple of months ago. I didn't get a d&c; I was only 7 weeks along and the babies passed naturally. I just went in afterwards to get checked out so they could be sure I was healing properly.

As far as it not happening again, before you try to get pregnant make sure you're off of birth control and stop drinking for as long as possible before you try. However even if those weren't issues (they weren't for me) it can still happen. The bright side is that it's not your fault if you miscarry. The bad side is that because of that, you're not as in control of it as you'd like, so there isn't a lot you can do to prevent it. However, it'll probably be fine.

From what I understand, miscarriage is very common and the odds are like... 1/3 of moms experience it. More than you'd think! Ask around and you'll find that to be true-- I did. Most of the time it's just a genetic mutation of some sort in the baby. I read that 1/5 pregnancies is a miscarriage. They're particularly common in first pregnancies, so if this is your first, probably from here on out it'll be smooth sailing.

I'd say don't work yourself up unless you've already had several miscarriages in a row. My dr. said they're so common that they don't even test for the reason behind the miscarriage until you've had 3! So it may be nothing to do with you and your fertility and you'll be fine. I'm sure that after the d&c though they can test the fetus and find out if there's anything of which you should be aware. I know so many people who've had many miscarriages but also have 5-13 healthy kids! Wow!

Lastly just a word of encouragement... right now is the hardest time. As if it weren't enough you just found out you lost your baby, you still have pregnancy hormones in your body racing and making it even harder to take the emotion, plus you feel your body cramping and smell the blood... it's horrible. Once this passes it becomes m u c h easier. From what I've been told it usually takes about 2 months before you feel back to "normal" emotionally, and in my case it took under that, but there's a wide range. I lost twins and as it turned out they died on their patron saints' feast days and I just figured... what are the odds of that? Maybe God planned it on purpose so that I could have 2 little guardian angels watching me in heaven and taking care of the rest of our family.

You can also see therapists and stuff; I have a friend who's a social worker in the NICU and she was helpful. Check out the song "Still" by g. hofsink (available on itunes) if you need a purging song. It's also featured on youtube if you search "miscarriage october 15" (miscarriage awareness day). People don't TALK about miscarriage enough, and that's part of why it's so hard to handle. We just don't know what to do/say about it. It's awkward. Our friends don't know what to tell us. We have no rules of etiquette around it and lots of ignorance. We just have to raise awareness and do our best to deal.

Best of luck. I know you will be ok. Now is the worst; it'll get easier soon.

Hi D.,

First and foremost, I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I've been there and I now the devastation you are feeling. It is estimated that 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. It seems like most of your life you hear about how to prevent pregnancy. People don't talk about this other stuff as much. When you are ready, I would recommend reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility by T. Weschler. It's really a must-read for all women, but especially if you are trying to conceive. You will learn so many amazing things about your body. Sometimes there just isn't anything we can do to prevent something like this. But other times, it can be something as simple as a hormonal imbalance. Reading this book will help give you more insight about what is going on with your body and what to talk to your doctor about. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss. I had two miscarriages and it was devastating. Second, this is not your fault, so when you say things like, "I can't let this happen again". I'm concerned. Now as for getting pregnant again, I think the levels of toxicity in my system contributed to my miscarriages, I'm talking about heavy metals, and just build up of stuff from our environment. I would do a considerable detox and chelation with this doctors products ____@____.com you all the best, I did get pregnant again. You may but have an attitude of control will only limit your chances. You must let go and let God.

I am so sorry about your loss...I have had 3. I can recommend Googling preconception nutrition (for men and women)...at least for peace of mind that you are doing your best to make the healthiest baby you can. Sometimes there is little we can do though. Why things turn out right or wrong is a complex process...but on a brighter note, even women who have two or three miscarriages in a row can still have a healthy pregnancy. Don't give up!

Dear D.,

You didn't say how old you are. If you're concerned about being able to carry another pregnancy to term, may I suggest getting treated by a local acupuncturist who specializes in women's health and fertility for about 3-6 months? It does take some time to optimize the reproductive tract for fertility, so be patient with the process, but many published studies have shown that this method really works. It may involve taking some herbs, but you and your baby-to-be will be much better off in the long run for it.

I'm so sorry for your loss. The same thing happened to me the first time I was pregnant. It turned out to be low progesterone so the next time I got pregnant I started progesterone right away and everything was good. The D&C may help them determine what is wrong also.

Good luck!

I am so sorry for your loss. I would strongly encourage you to insist on getting the fetus sent to pathology so they can figure out a possible cause. Most likely it was a trisomy (chromosomal abnormality) and there is nothing you could have done to prevent that. As my doctor put it when it happened to me, "it's just bad luck." It's very common and doesn't mean you can't go on to have successful pregnancies. Testing is also important just in case there is a genetic cause because that way your doctor will know how to advise you when you're ready to start trying again. Of course, none of this information is going to make you feel better since your loss is so profound. It gets better but heal on your own terms. Again, I'm truly sorry for what you are going through.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to have a pregnancy end this way. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you.

Hi, D.,

Please accept my condolences. I lost my first two offspring to miscarriage, too. Many different things cause miscarriage. Most of these things we have no control over. As I know almost nothing about your situation (your age, how far along your pregnancy was, other possible conditions), I can't guess which of the many possible causes was responsible for this outcome. I am still not sure whether my miscarriages were due to chromosomal abnormalities, an immune disorder (antiphosolipid antibodies), or something else. If you are in the advanced maternal age category as I was (I was 38 and 39 years old), have been trying for years, or suspect that you or your husband may have a medical condition that may have led to this, then I recommend you see a reproductive endocrinologist or perinatologist. I can suggest some excellent ones (and steer you clear of some bad ones) in Southern California. By the way, I took prednisone tablets and injected myself with heparin daily for several months with my last two pregnancies, both of which resulted in healthy babies.

Best wishes,
Lynne

I'm sorry for your loss. Same thing happened to me. The next time I got pregnant it worked out great. There is really nothing you can do. Miscarriages just happen. Just make sure you don't smoke or do drugs or drink, and hopefully the next time everything will work out fine. Chances are they will. Good luck!

I'm so sorry for your loss...
This happended to me. All I can say is we fell into part of the statistics where 25% of pregnancies miscarry. If you did everything right (no drinking, smoking, etc....) there's nothing you can do.

Same thing happened to me at 11 weeks. I think it was just nature and there is nothing you can do to prevent it. It took about 7 months to get pregnant again but I had a healthy baby girl 9 months later. Good luck to you.

Hi,

I am very sorry for your loss. I know it can be devastating to find out information like this. I too had this problem last year; I was 9 weeks along and everything was fine, and the next minute it wasn't. I had a D&C, took a few weeks to recover, and took it easy. Eventually we started trying again, and within 5 months, I was pregnant. I IMMEDIATELY got myself to the doctor and she put me on progesterone, which I stayed on until the end of the first trimester. She also had me taking baby aspirin, one per day, which I'm still on. I also worked with an acupuncturist which was extremely helpful. I think these 3 things combined have helped me carry this baby full-term. It's hard to accept but you may never know "why" this happened; although I do believe there are small changes you can make to try and prevent it from happening again. Best of luck to you!

I would look into all you can about the thyroid. It is extremely important in maintaining pregnancy. I read a great article recently, either in FitPregnancy magazine or in Natural Solutions magazine that discusses this. I would suggest seeing an Endocrinologist before and during your next pregnancy and get all kinds of tests done and monitor it (not just the basic couple of tests, but all the tests that monitor various aspects of it's effectiveness). Not only should you be monitoring the thyroid, but other glands that are closely related, such as the pituitary and others.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you heal from this as quickly as you can and begin to enjoy a full term pregnancy and healthy baby soon!

Firstly, I'm sorry, that is never any fun, and it hurts terribly! I've had that happen twice. One thing that people seem to blow off, but has validity is to avoid cold lunch meats and other things. Lysteria the bacteria that can be found on some foods caused one of my miscarriages. The other thing you want to make sure is how compatible your blood type is with your husband. My sister-in-law lost a baby because her body was attacking the baby as disease due to a different blood-type.
Secondly, it's wonderful that you're able to become pregnant, a lot of women are never able to have that experience. Good luck and take heart, some people actually have a miscarriage in between each pregnancy like me. I'm 37 weeks pregnant with baby number 2 but it's my 4th pregnancy. HUGS!

I am sorry for your loss. I had three miscarriages & D&C's before I had my son and he was a healthy, full term uneventful pegnancy & delivery.

Ask your doc about progesterone suppositories to use as soon as you find out you are pregnant--I was having trouble with the implantation and my son was from the pregnancy I used them....for the first 12-16 weeks..term was 'luteal phase deficiency' I think. They usually don't test for/medicate for this until a pattern is established (numerous miscarriages) but it certainly couldn't hurt to ask about it......You are right knowledge is POWER and you will get through this. God Bless.