Bathing with Your Children?

Hi A., I don't really know what to think or say. but I can only think that if you are to act like it's a BAD thing you may close the door on her coming to you when she has a very personal matter such as her period and things like this ( i'm only guessing though). I would also think there is going to come a time when she says "don't open the door mom I'm changing". I know for us mother's our bodies changed after having kids and I'm sure alot of us don't like the changes that have happened. So if it's yourself thats self concious about your own body how would and will that make her feel about hers. It may be a little curiousity also. The key to anything and everything whether its your kids or husband or friends is communication. Ask her why she wants you to take a shower/bath with her? Is she wanting just "mommy time"? Does she have a question she wants to ask you? Or has she heard something at school that has to do with women, mommy's and their bodies? I think you are at the crossroads of your mom/daughter relationship if you shut the door you won't be let back in or if you answer her questions truthfully, honestly and to the best of your ability than thats all you can do.
I have a 15 yr old son and at the time he was about 12 or so, we went to walmart because I needed tampons for myself. So we buy them and we get in the car and he says "what are those"? and I said tampons. He said what are they for and I said its just for a woman. If you were a woman/girl than you would need them also. Let me tell you that didn't satisfy him, he kept on hounding me about what they are for so finally after no avail to get him to leave it be. I told him I didn't sugar coat it or beat around the bush about it. He knows now at this age that any question he ask's me I'm gonna tell him honestly. I hope this helps you in someway. I have 2 daughter's they are alot younger. I can only tell you this is how I will try to handle situatios like this and I wish my mother would have handled issue's I had like this also. hope this helps W.

I agree with the mothers who say ask her why. Maybe she is scared and just having you in the bathroom would help. But I really don't understand why it is a problem? So I think it is up to you if want to pass on to her your ideas about nudity or if you want her to feel differently. I am tempted to say, of course let her, what's the big deal? But it seems like you might have some issues with your own body, are freaked out by nudity, or maybe you are just extremely conservative in that way and you might want her to be that way also. I would think very seriously about what I wanted to pass on to my daughter. I would be worried about giving her the impression that there is something wrong with a Woman's body or that a Woman's body is a purely sexual object. Our bodies belong to us and are nothing to be ashamed of no matter what size, color or shape. We are not here for either the physical or visual enjoyment of others. I feel this view of society that a Woman's body is a sexual object or that a Woman should be ashamed of her body if it does not look a certain way, is why we feel like our bodies are something that need to be hidden.

My son is 15 1/2 months and HATES the bathtub. So we have to give him showers unless we want to listen to him scream at the top of his lungs and hold his breath until we're done... He normally showers with my husband but on occasions me. I do think that 8 is a little old to be showering with mommy, did something happen that she's not sharing with you? I agree that there must be a reason as to why she wants to do this. If I were you I'd go into a room privately just you and her and ask her why she wants to take a shower with you and if its to have "private time" with you, maybe plan some mother/daughter activities for the 2 of you. Good luck and let us know how things go.

Hey A., I think that we sometimes make mistakes concerning our children that we don't realize at the time are mistakes. My daughter is 21 months old and has always bathed with me. There are certain times of the month that it isn't a good idea for that. I don't have any advice but I do wish you all the best. I may be asking this very question one day myself. lol At my daughters age I just put up a gate and let her play in her room when I need to bathe by myself. She isn't very happy about that but that is the way it has to be. I hope you get the answer you need.

My daughter is 10 and if we're in a hurry, we still shower together. I also have two sons and a husband, so when we're all trying to get ready to go in a hurry, it just saves time. However, for the most part, she showers all by herself. I've explained and she understands the need for modesty around the boys, but when it's just the two of us, I see no reason to be secretive. Keep in mind, I don't flaunt myself in front of her, but I also don't act all upset if she were to see me in a state of undress.

Hello,
I have a daughter that is 6 and a son that is 4. My husband and I have bathed with our kids in the shower off and on since they were born, if we are in a hurry to get somewhere. After our children were about 2 we no longer took showers with the opposite sex children and started to use some discretion when dressing. Ex. Our daughter doesn't shower with my husband and my son doesn't shower with me. However my son has seen me in my bra and panties when he forgets to knock and barges in the door. He has asked me what my bra is and I told him that is a bra. He asks why i wear it and I explained that when a girl gets older they have to wear one. He asked why daddy didn't have to wear one and I explained that daddy didn't have breasts.
But as far as my daughter every once in a while when I am in the shower in the morning she will wake up and ask if she can get in the shower. If she didnt' get one the night before I usually let her in and when I am done bathing I get out and she finishes her shower. Yes she has asked personal questions and I explain that when she is older she will look the same and that is as far as it goes, and she doesn't ask anything anymore.
When I was little my mom rarely used to get a bath without one of my 2 sisters or me sitting on the toilet talking about something, because our question just couldn't wait until she was done. I think that we finally stopped bugging her in the bath when we moved out of the house. That was one time that we had her undivided attention, without my dad or brother butting in.
We explain to our children that their bodies are private and personal, but if they have any questions they should ask mommy and daddy before anyone else. Why should we leave it up to everyone else to explain things of a personal matter to our children.
As far as your question whether or not you should let her bath with you if you are not comfortable with it then absolutely not. Tell her you will sit in the bathroom with her, if she wants help scrubbing her back or hair I would do that.
As far as the response that it is indecent exposure. I don't quite understand that since nothing inappropriate is going on.
Hope this helps.

Hi A.,

When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I was going through a similar experience. It was around Halloween and my brothers and sisters were watching a scary movie. I happened to watch it with them, and for a while thereafter I didn't want to go to the bathroom alone or sleep by myself. I distinctly remember that I was afraid to close my eyes when I was rinsing the soap out of my hair because I thought that when I opened them, Jason or Freddy would be there waiting for me. Kids have very vivid imaginations. You should try and sit down and talk to your daughter about why she doesn't want to shower alone. Who knows? She just might tell you. Just make sure you validate her feelings and don't make her feel silly for whatever reason she gives you.

I agree with Wendy. I think there is a reason why your daughter is asking to spend this "private" time with you and you should sit down with her to find out. After that I think she's old enough to understand everyone deserves and needs private time.

Best of Luck!

I know that you have already got so many but I just wanted to say that my mom was like your and it made me very curious in my high school years but my husband mom never was ashamed and let them see her and both of her sons stayed virgins until marriage and I asked them how they did with so much temptation and they told me that we where not curious of the thinkgs we have seen and talked to are mom about so I let my kids bathe with me and they never say anything to anyone about it or talk about are body parts they are comfortable about it. L.

Oh no, no showering together after the age of two. At this age you're risking social services intervention because it's indecent exposure and that can put you on the sex offenders list.