Balance Act

Hi E.! We badly need to talk! My husband works 24 hour shifts also and I work twelves. I have recently came across a great stay at home opportunity that I am doing along side my nursing job until it takes off. I would be so excited to share it with you!

Hi E. - The balance you are searching for can be found, but it takes work daily. Sometimes it's a mindset more than anything. They don't call it a balancing "act" for nothing... it takes practice and sometimes feels strange, like you are playing a part and you don't know the script! I work full-time as a teacher (I am blessed to have summers off), and the yearly routine of sending the kids off to day care with my husband by 6:45 a.m., working all day, rushing home, trying to spend quality time with them while cooking dinner and preparing lunches for the next day, baths, etc. can get VERY overwhelming very quickly. The only thing that has worked for us is to have a routine and stick to it. My husband and I also divide and conquer the chores. If yours is willing to help, that is GREAT - give him jobs to do. It may be that right now it is a lot for you since you just returned from maternity leave. I remember with my first it was crazy getting back to school because my mindset and focus had shifted so drastically now that I had a child. Give yourself a couple of months (at least!) to ease in and get the feeling of what it's like to be a working mom, and I know in time you'll feel less overwhelmed and have a daily schedule that works for all of you. It makes me personally sad that this life is the way it is, where both parents must work full-time just to support a basic lifestyle, unless one parents makes enough money of course.

As far as all the other stuff, it may be that extended family and friends who aren't super close to you have to take a backseat for a while. It's okay to say no to people while you get your bearings and establish your own family. If you do see friends for lunch or shopping, bring the baby once in a while. When you're cooking dinner, have the baby nearby in the exersaucer or swing (until your little one crawls away from you!) so s/he can see you and vice versa. Cram in as much time as possible but try to get out on your own or with friends at least once a month or so. I exercise daily and my husband knows it keeps me sane, so that is my alone time, at least a little each day is better than nothing.

For house cleaning, check out the other post from this weekend - there are great ideas there! Hang in there - the drowning feeling will come and go, it's an unfortunate part of being a working mom, but you will find the balance that works for you, don't worry. Good luck!!

The thing that works for me is routine, routine, routine!! and knowing that sometimes you just can't get everything done. But if you stick to a routine that works for you it will make things much better. I ended up changing my hours at work and it has helped dramatically. I am fortunate to be able to do that. It's important for me (as it is for you) to be able to be a good mom, work, and be a house wife too and it's working for me now. So try different things and once you find what works for you, stick to it. Good luck. : )

I am a single full time working mom. i understand. it's so overwhelming in the beginning! i just take the day moment by moment and i try not to look ahead. On sundays i plan all my work clothes for the week and the babies day care clothes- it alleviates a lot of stress during the week and only takes about half and hour. i also just pack the bag the night before for an easy transition out the door. Remind yourself that even though it feels like there is no end in sight, in time you will fall into your routine and you'll be used to it. i have been back to work for almost 3 months and its fine now. at times i could loose my mind, but its really getting better.i'm out the door bat 630am, home at 4pm its a long day. but all that we are doing is for ou child,so is so worth it. and relax, it gets easier and better!

E.,

Balancing working and home life is stressful, even for those do it all moms! There are many opportunities out there for women in your position. Direct sales companies are a fantastic way to be able to do it all. Not only do you basically work for yourself, set your own hours, and can take vacation or sick time anytime you want, without the boss throwing a fit, the earning potential is fabulous! I know there are a lot of direct sales diva moms on this site, but let me tell you about my company.

I do THOSE parties! I get to go out twice a week and entertain and educate women on all sorts of topics about the body. I am with a company called Athena's Home Novelties. The company is based in Rhode Island, so it is nice to be close to the office. I average between $150 -$400 dollars a night! Try making that much in 3 to 4 hours anywhere else! I have put my website below along with my phone number and email address. If you would like to talk about it, call me or email me.

If anyone else is interested, call or email me!

While my direct sales company is not for everyone, there are all sorts of options available, so don't be shy in asking questions of the other direct sales moms on this site.

I don't think it's a balance, but a see-saw. The trick to making the see-saw fun is not to shoot up too high or crash down too fast. But you aren't always going to be doing well at everything, so you can just let that idea go. I am also a working mom, and sometimes I think that instead of having the opportunity to do everything, I just have the opportunity to do everything badly. But really, I wouldn't want to change things (I love my kids, but would really hate being a SAHM), so I need to find ways to make it work. Sometimes work goes really awesome but I'm maybe not giving as much of myself to home life, and sometimes vice versa. I guess that I don't have any advice other than to cut yourself a break, know that the more you do this the easier it will get, and no matter what, as long as you love your daughter and enjoy your job, you'll really do great at both. It sounds cheesy, but it really is true.

HI E.,

I was just talking with a single mom I had met about how society does NOT prepare women/girls for the paradigm shift that occurs when you have a baby. She concurred that it wasn't really fair. Her daughter's father spent time with the girl but never supported her financially at all. Though she loves her little girl tremendously, she would have chosen another father for her... Anyway it is crazy learning how to manage life with a newborn and having a husband with 24 hour shifts. #1 I suggest you make a list of your minimum needs, then work from there, talk with him about beginning a home business together so that you would not have to manage the heartbreak of leaving your baby with another person (even good childcare). MY website talks about lots of different jobs for extra money from home... but I will just place it at the end of the post. Good luck with your search and relax on yourself a bit. In the long run the more time you spend with hubby and daughter the better off you are in the long run!
--C. W.
www.MyHomeCottageBiz.com

Hi E., I know having children and having a job sure can be difficult my sister does it everyday. But I can tell you a great way to spend time with you family and work. So if you would like to hear more about it please go to my website

www.themomteam.com/achabre
____@____.com

Good Luck