that seems like a horrible schedule! i would have to think of it this way...what would you do if his father were living with you? his schedule would STILL be the same, and he would still only see his father was off from work, or out of work, and that would still be only a few hrs a week with that kind of schedule. now, me personally, i wouldn't have my child up at those kinds of hrs just to see their father, i would get my kid on a "NORMAL" schedule asap! at the same time i would feel bad that they didn't get to see their father all that often, but daddy has to do what daddy has to do (work) and you have to do what you gotta do, and if you're keeping a schedule where you guys sleep all day and are up all night, i don't think i don't think it will be very easy for you in a couple yrs...when he's gotta be put in school...i think you'll just cause yet another problem down the line. so while it's hard for daddy to not see his son all that often because of work schedule, it's in the best interest of you and your son to try and get on a "normal" schedule". my daughter is nearly 2 and we have her in her crib between 8-8:30pm for bed (no matter how long it takes her to fall asleep) and she wakes around 8am...now, her nap time, that can start anywhere from 11-2pm and last anywhere from 1-4:30pm (going down later and waking up later DOES screw up bedtime, but if we're doing something...like moving this week, her schedule does have to be shifted a bit)
i myself am moving back in with MY family, leaving my husband's family, and he's not allowed to spend the night, but IS allowed to stay until our daughter is asleep this way he has every moment he can with her AFTER work...i would talk to your parents, and maybe if you can get your son on a different schedule...maybe go down around 9 and give them that extra hr to see eachother...but that would all have to be talked about AFTER the sleeping schedule is back on track. and maybe you can talk to his father and see if possibly he can get put on a different schedule!? a friend of mine has 2 kids, and the father works one of those mixed schedules to where for a couple weeks/months he's working 1 shift, then they put him on a diff shift for the next couple weeks/months (i can't think of what it's called) but maybe if he can switch his schedule, even like my friend's bf is on, he may not ALWAYS get to see his son, but it may help! hope that some of this helps, or at least one of the suggestions you get from the other moms. good luck, i understand (and am beginning to know) how you feel. good luck, and remember to get the sleep part down 1st!