Bedtime for a 1 Year Old?

Is there some Golden Book of Motherhood Awesomeness where it says a 9:00 bedtime is wrong?

I am thinking there is not. A happy healthy child and mommy should stick with what is working for them and tell others (politely) to stick their noses somewhere else.

PS -- Sounds like she is getting at least 12 hrs a day which is just fine.

At one point my husband and I worked together and didn't get home until 9:00. My parents watched my son and would keep him up because he wanted to see us. It worked for a while, until he started school. Then we had to slowly move his bedtime to 7:30 so he would be up and ready for school.
We now have a 8 month old daughter and she has been on the 7:30 schedule as well for a couple of months now.
If 9:00 works for you, then keep it. You may have to adjust her bedtime when she goes to school.

Do whatever works for you and don't listen to others and their mechanical schedules that they have in minds. Whatever fits you best is what you do. My daughter, although 2.5 now, doesn't go to bed until 11. That's when I put her down, then we read a book, talk and joke around. She falls asleep around midnight (and so do I) but sleeps until 9:30 or 10 am. She then has a 2-hr nap during the day. If my daughter had to go to bed at 9 pm, I'd never see her as I'm a lawyer and work long hours and usually come home around 8:30 the earliest. So this way I get to see her at night and spend quality time with her, just her. The trade off is I usually leave the house by 9 am so then my husband gets her up in the AM and takes care of her during the day (he works from home). That's what works for us.

There are no set rules on what time kids should go to sleep. As long as she gets the required amount of sleep, she'll be fine on your schedule. If she goes to bed at 9 pm and gets up at 6:30, she's getting 9.5 hrs there, plus her 2 hr nap during the day, that's almost 12 hrs (plus the nap in the car), which is what she should be getting.

So again, do what your instinct tells you as a mom. I hate when people generalize and tell you as a mother what you should be doing. You're doing just fine.

Best of luck.

My opinion is that if it's not broken, don't fix it--if she's happy, healthy etc--then it's working. If she went to bed earlier she may not sleep in the car. My two have always gone to bed early, but that's what works for our family. My best friend puts her baby to bed at 10:00--I thought about telling her how late I thought that was and then I decided to mind my own business. Why do I care when she puts her baby to bed? It sounds like you've got a good system for your situation!

Hi there,

Honestly, you need to do what works for you and your family, regardless of what time the clock says. My son is 2 and a half now and since he started sleeping throughout the night & we have established a bedtime routine, he has been going to bed at 8:30pm. I know it is late compared to what other households set for bedtime for their kids but it works for me and my husband. If he went to bed earlier than that, my husband would see his son for a minimal amount of time, if any, during the week since he leaves the house shortly after 6am and gets home typically between 6:15 and 6:30pm and we have family dinner together. The ability for my son to see his dad during the week and for us to have a family dinner together as much as we can when we can, is important to us. Besides, they grow up so fast and you have to appreciate each stage with your kids...they won't be little forever! My best advice is to do what works for you and your daughter for bedtime based on your schedule and what is important to you! Good luck! :)

When my son was 1 year he would go to bed at 8pm, wake up at 6:30am and take a 2-3 hr nap during the day. I think its okay she stays up until 9 as long as shes getting a good amount of nap time during the day. My pediatrician told me that if you child falls asleep at night within 5 minutes of hitting the sheets, then shes not getting enough sleep. So if it takes your daughter longer than 5 minutes to fall asleep at night, then shes probably getting enough.

Is your daughter getting enough sleep? If so, then you are doing just fine. My kids went to bed at 7 too at that age, but they had a totally different schedule. Tell your Aunt very nicely thanks for the concern, but your daughter is getting plenty of sleep. Then put it out of your mind.

You have to do what works for you. 3 and 4 year olds are tired because they go to preschool and don't nap anymore. You aren't required to put your baby to bed before your aunt's kids. Your kid is up til 9:00 because that works for you. Perhaps your aunt is a sahm and has had enough of her kids by 7:00. When my kids were 3 and 4, they were not in bed at 7:00, we were often eating dinner at 6:30-7:00, their bedtime at those ages was 8:00. You are not under any obligation to change your child's bedtime because someone else has a different bedtime. Most 1 year olds are probably not up til 9:00, but if this works for your schedule and she sleeps well at night, why should you change to an earlier bedtime just because that's what your aunt does with her young kids? Don't second guess yourself, you don't need everyone else's opinions. Your aunt has ideas about bedtime rules and that kids should be in bed early but how would that benefit you and your baby? Why would you think that you have to try her bedtime?

My son (1 year) sleeps from 8p to about 8a and has 1 two hour nap . This works for him and if what you're doing works for you and her, then go with it! My little guy melts down sometime between 7:30 and 8p if we're not getting him ready for bed. I would think you'd notice if she acted as though she needed more sleep! You're the Mommy, you know her best!

9 is too late. She should be sleeping 12 hours at night. She is tired, that is why she falls alseep in the car in the morning. Sleep is crucial. Try for 8:00. Sorry you don't see her much - but her sleep is really important.

Sounds like a very good schedule. I wouldn't change a thing unless your little one is tired. I pretty much do the same schedule, except I don't work. 9p.m bed time is pretty good.

For how much she's napping during the day, the later bedtime might be just fine for your family. I wouldn't worry so much about other people's opinions. If she's happy during the day, and doesn't seem tired, I would worry about it.

I've always put my babies down at 9pm but I also let them sleep later than 6:30 they need about 11 hours straight and that's really not enough for her. I understand your situation but if u stick to a routine during the week there is definately room for flexibility on the weekends and you would have more of a break at bight. It's whatever works for you.

Kids will adapt to later bedtimes if that is what they are used to. I agree that if you are getting home at 6:30, it would be pretty hard to put her to sleep at 7. When my kids were very little, their natural bedtime, though, was 7:15. If I kept them up any later, they were messes. So I started going to work really early (leaving the house at 5:45 am) so I could get home by 6:15 pm. I'd then see my twins for an hour and my older daughter would stay up a bit later so I"d have alone time with her.
My twins are now 5 and about a year ago, they started staying up until 8, so now they go to bed at 8 and my daughter gets into bed at 8 (she is 7 years old) and reads for a half hour.
If your daughter seems ok with staying up later, I think it's more important she see you. But maybe you could push it back a bit to 8:30. Again, if she's not cranky and she's ok with the 9:00 bedtime, then leave it alone. It might be harder when she's in preschool because she'll be out of the house all day, but you can deal with that in time...
Also, one other thing, I put my kids to bed at 8 so I have some time to MYSELF before I get to bed at 10!

My daughters go to bed every night between 7 and 730. Every book that you read says an early bedtime is best, but you have to do what works for your family! The authors of those book certainly don't live in your house! It sounds like the 9 bedtime is working for you guys now, so why fix what isn't broken :)

I think you're in a tough situation with the drive home when she falls asleep. I echo the people who say 9pm is a little late-there's a reason babies go to sleep early. They really need their sleep and there's apparently times of the day when napping and sleeping are biologically better/easier for them. At least she's kind of making it up during naptime. Maybe you could work towards keeping her awake for the car ride home and then be able to put her down at 8pm again. And when she gets a little older and drops a nap, you could think about having her sleep longer at night too. Good luck what ever you decide to do.

It seems okay, since she has such a long afternoon nap,but 8 or 8:30 would be better. Sleep is very important for brain development, and she needs at least 13 hours sleep at this age; with roughly 3 hour in naps per day, she needs to sleep at least 10 hours at night. If she gets up at 6:30, she should really be asleep by 8:30. You can keep it at 9 on the days you go to your mom's, but maybe limit it to just once a week. OR, why can't your mom come to your house at 6:30?

Its fine for now. She's only 1 years old.

Eventually, when she is formally in school, you will have to adjust her bedtime and wake times, and per after school timing/homework/week day after school socializing.

To me... going to visit Grandma, in the evening, is late to be visiting. Then that makes you/your child, latER... to then come home and wind-down and get her ready for bed. Once you do come home, after visiting Grandma.
And, IF Grandma comes over too, I assume in the evenings, that makes timing late for you/your child too.
So to me... GRANDMA... is the one making your child/you/the family 'late' in the whole scheme of things.

To me, after work/when you get and your child get home.. then that is YOUR time and lots to do once you get home. Plus you have to get dinner made and eat and bathe her... which all takes lots of time.
So... Grandma visiting and you visiting her in the evening.. to me, is what is making everything... LATER.

If 9pm works for you and your baby then put her to bed at 9pm. Don't listen to anyone else. It sounds like she is getting enough sleep and is a happy healthy baby.

My oldest daughter had a very odd work schedule when her 1st child was growing up. She didn't have to be at work till noon and got out of work at 8pm. She felt like she never got to see her new baby much so his bedtime was 11pm each night. But...he didn't get up in the morning till around 10-10:30. And he took two 2 hour naps each day while she was working. Sure it's not the same as "most" peoples schedules, but it fit their schedule. Both were happy and healthy and it worked for them.

When my daughter was born my husband worked the evening shift (3pm-11pm). He hardly ever saw her awake. Finally I changed our schedule to fit his. We went to bed at 3am. My daughter usually woke up around 1pm every day. She took 2 naps while daddy was working. She got plenty of sleep and all of us were happy. As she got older we did have to change our schedule, slowly, so it conformed to the rest of the world but that's a whole different story.

If your child is getting enough total sleep in a 24 hour period then you have some flexibility in the nightime bedtime, depending on the nap schedule. I'm not sure the exact amount for a 1 year old, probably 12-14 hours since I think it is about 12 for preschoolers. There are plenty of sleep books with that info.

I never put my kids to bed really early even as babies. In fact as babies they stayed up later (9 or 9:30) because of the daytime naps. But my kids were not the kind that got up extra early either. My almost 5 year old goes to bed at 8 and gets up around 7:30. During the week we can't have dinner as a family until after 6:15 or 6:30 or later so we don't get the kids in bed until about 8. Getting my 5 year old who doesn't nap in bed on time is much more important than getting my 2 year old in bed. She will sleep later or take a long nap if she is tired. Also, my 5 year old is much more sensitive to being tired (his behavior is horrible) or changes in his routine. My daughter is a more flexible kid in many ways. Also she is mostly clingy if tired but my son is hyper and disobedient.

I always had my kids in bed by 7-8pm. They are age and 8 and 5 and they go to bed right around 7.30 now. Now they are both at school they need to be in bed by a certain time or I have to shake them out of bed in the morning. The 8 year old usually reads in bed for about 30 minutes.
This has always worked for me and, up until about a year ago, I was a stay at home mom so had plenty of time with them so I didn't have any issue with how much I saw them, in fact I needed that down time after being with them all day. I now work weekday evenings so only see them very briefly after school before I go to work, so I know what you mean.
I think if it works for your family then that is fine. Different schedules work for different families. You may need to adjust bedtime when she starts kindergarten but that is a long long way off.

My boys are 2 and 4 and they both are in bed at 8pm. We have to wake up at 6 to get ready for the day and it seems like a resonable time and very little fighting from them. On weekends they are able to stay up a little later, latest is 9pm, just so we get a little extra time together. Both still take naps during the day about 2 hours. It works for us but I think every house is different and all kids respond differently to bedtimes. If she is not cranky or irritable when she wakes up, it is probably ok for her to go to bed later, however the fact that she sleeps in the car is probably a good indication of her needing more sleep.

If it's working for you, then don't worry about it. All babies sleep schedules are different. If she's not overly tired with your current routine, then keep it the way it is. It sounds like she's getting plenty of sleep.

I know kids who go to sleep anywhere between 6:30 and 10:00. My son went to bed at 7:30 when he was 1 and now, at 3, he goes to bed at 8:00. I have typically heard kids under 5 should go to bed between 7-8:00.

All that said, you have to do what is best for your family. If your child is doing well with a 9:00 bedtime and it allows you to spend time together, why switch? Plus, she is getting a nap at 5:30, which most kids her age don't, so it makes up for the late bedtime.

When she starts school and doesn't get the extra naps in the car, you'll probably need to adjust her bedtime so she can get more like 11 hours in bed at night.

K.
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If 9p works for your family and she isn't overtired, then stick with it. Personally, I like to have some time to myself so my kids go to bed between 7 and 730, and being up so early, they usually crash at that time. We tried putting them to bed later for hopes in a later wake time, but their internal clocks are set to wake up early no matter what time we go to bed. If she is sleeping in the car she may be overtired and hopefully it is the sleep she needs. But if it works, then go for it. My nephew has always gone to bed around 9, and he will have a 4 hour afternoon nap. The only downside is that it is difficult to have him for overnights because he and my kids are on such opposite schedules. But it works for them.

sounds like she naps alot so dont have to go to sleep early You must do what works for you not what other tell you you should.habg in there be tough
its your child not theres

When my son was younger he had a very late bedtime of 10:00-11:00pm. We were a 2nd shift family, and that was our routine since my husband worked 3:00-11:00pm. Now that he is 3 he has let me know over the past few months that he gets tired sooner and has changed his own schedule, he now goes to bed at 8:00.

My 19 month old goes to bed between 7:00 and 7:30, but I am with her all day long. I understand your dillema. If she is not getting enough sleep she will let you know. You do what works for your family, and right now this works. A few months back I asked a question about what time everyones kids went to bed (check it out) and got so many responses, you would be surprised about how many people keep their kids up later because it works for their schedule and their family.

hey if that's your routine and what works for you, then stick to it. As long as your child isn't exhausted all day, I don't see the problem. If she's falling asleep in the car on the way home from daycare, I think she can handle a 9:00 bedtime. I would probably keep my kids up later if I didn't see them all day either.
Lynsey

A child needs sleep. I know it may be hard for this season of your life, but as a mom we sometimes have to forget about what we want and do what our child needs. You may have stay home at night and not see her much.