Backup Money

I have just $100 my grandmother left me, but i wish ihad more, not because i think he will leave but just because i should have access to SOME money and don't.

I don't have a special stash of money titled "leaving my husband fund", but with that being said we do keep a stash of money for special occasions or for when the car breaks down. I keep this money hidden, but I keep my husband informed on how much is there and when I take it out and what I used it for. Marrige is about trust and we trust each other.

If you are having these thoughts seriously then go with you next post and seek some help. I wish you the best.

I dont -Yet- but I think its a Really SMART idea for Everyone to do this - YOU NEVER KNOW........ it doesnt mean your looking at the demise of your beloved relationship ! Just means your "saving for that rainy day". You hear too many horror stories :-(

I do...kind of?!

When I first got married my mother told me to start stashing $ away, just in case. I thought it was a strange piece of advice and kind of old fashioned way of thinking.

I told my hubby what my mom had said and surprisingly he agreed and told me I should do it, especially if it gave me some piece of mind that I would always somehow be taken care of.

So cut to present day, 13+ years later, I do have a box filled with cash on top of my closet. I add a $20 dollar bill in every so often...and haven't counted it in awhile but I have been secretly thinking about saving it up for a very long time and spending it on something supremely exciting for our 25th wedding anniversary...wouldn't that be awesome!

~Who knows, maybe I will have to bust into it for something else but so far (knock on some wood) I still have it and it's growing!

I can't see your original question but I can guess (pretty presumptous of me and I apologize if I'm not even close) it by the answers and let me just say....I've felt that way. I have, in my own name with him as a beneficiary (not a user or joint owner), a 'what ever happens happens' account that I stick my leftover blow money in. He knows I have it, he rarely asks how much is in it. I will use it at my discretion, whether it is leaving (which I have thought about many, many times up until late (things seem, and I stress seem, to be moving uphill at last!)) or major family emergencies that may not be covered by our 1000 dave ramsey er fund or saving and buying a swing set for the kids that I wouldn't be able to budget for otherwise because if the money is in our 'joint' account, he will spend it!!!

It doesn't matter that these other ladies do or don't agree with you (or me) here. What is important is that you have a nest egg to take care of you and the kids if things happen. I have seen it too many times where one decides to leave and the joint money is just gone.

My parents have been married for almost 50 years and after we got older, my mother went to work part-time and kept some money for herself. My dad wasn't a control freak at all but she loved having "her money" and advised my sister and I to always do the same. My friend actually hides money from her husband and in her case, it's a bit wrong bc they're so financially stretched and she's the overspender. She should be using the money to pay off interest bearing credit card balances. So I think it depends on the situation. If you want to put some money aside for yourself and it's not really hurting your finances otherwise, why not? Better safe than sorry. I think a little aside is different than if you're taking every spare cent and funneling it to an offshore account type thing.

No, I have never considered having one foot out the door.

no. It has never even crossed my mind...

No, and yes. I do have money stashed away which I use every so often. Did my hardwood floors and paid cash just a few months ago. Now I am ready to buy my kids an entertainment thing for our yard. And the rest will be used for a tropical vacation this year. I put money aside every month and then I purchase what I want (usually for the family, and never for myself only).
We have a few house projects in plan for this year, that by the time we start doing them I want to be able to pay 50 per cent of those cash. My hubby knows I put money away every week but does not know the amount. Everything we own is either on both of our names or I am the beneficiary. And he's not going anywhere.

Nope, we have an "oh $*%!" acct, but we know about it, what is in there and have equal access to. Now what we do with our weekly allowance is up to us; my man tends to save what he can so when something comes up and he wants to do or get something nice that may not be in the official budget he can get it. I do the same sometimes but not nearly as well as he does!

nope. we each have a checking account that we can both access and a savings account. We only have seperate checking because we did before we got married and it was easier to put our names on each other's accounts than to worry about figure out direct deposits and stuff by combining them.

No. I don't now and never have throughout my marraige. The checking and savings account our in both our names.

I don't live my life in fear that my husband will leave me and I wouldn't leave. Breaking up my family unit would be the worst thing I could ever imagine. All that we have is OURS. There is no "his fund" and "her fund."

Well, we have a joint savings account but I've never viewed it as money for if we ever split...

Nope. We have extra money saved together (cash) in cash of an event like that but only because of the fact that maybe the banks are closed or something. Other than that, we share all financial information together.

I should add, that while not the best 'idea', I guess I do not worry because my parents live close by and in the event that did happen, I know they would help out if I needed it. And honestly, if he did leave, he knows that it would mean he would only see the kids at set times and since he's their sole caregiver during the week, I would think he'd think twice about doing that or else I'd probably strangle him!

No b/c I don't have a serious concern about my husband leaving me (besides I make more than he does). We have joint checking, savings and investment accounts for our son.

We do, however, have separate investment accounts (retirement and stocks). I had a lot of investments before I met him and have been left stocks and bonds after my grandparents' deaths. He knows how much is in those accounts and I know what is in his retirement. We are eachothers' primary beneficiaries, but we don't have "access" to the other person's investments. It's not a "in case I leave you" fund, but just things that were started before we met and are not "ours" on paper.

Nope. Not here either. We both have our own Savings accts, but our names are on both of them. We just choose not to access the others savings tho.

I would feel horribly guilty if I stashed money in case my husband left me. Our marriage is based on trust. That is why it works so well. If I was hiding money from him, I wouldn't be worthy of that trust.

I really don't mean to sound so harsh and judgemental. Trust is something I feel very strongly about, but I don't judge others. What works in my marriage may not work in someone else's. I hope everything is going alright in your's.