Secret Savings Account

I agree with T.S. about doing it opening, unless you have a valid reason, but I have found in my marriage that secrets end up backfiring. If the account bears no interest or earns less than $10 in interest per year, there are no tax implications.

If you are asking about this because you think you may need to leave him or something, then maybe you do need an account. However, if you are just wanting some money for emergencies, gifts, ect. then I suggest taking a $100 and going through the Financial Peace University with your husband. I had to beg my hubby to go with me (it's a 13wk course, once a week). After the first class he was a changed man! He couldn't wait to go each week, and since completing the class we are now 100% on the same page when it comes to money. We have a monthly "budget meeting" where he overlooks the budget, changes what he feels need to be changed, and then we stick to it. This is completely different from how we did it before! It's incredible the changes I've seen in our relationship, financial situation and family life. I highly suggest you check it out!

www.daveramsey.com - Look for "Financial Peace University"

It is everyone's right, to have their own money and accounts.
Even a child can have their own account, why not a wife.

You could get a p.o.box, for your "secret" mail/bank statements to go to. But then you would have to retrieve your mail and then bring it home... then where would you file it, and where would you put it at home?

Only accounts (checking or savings etc.) that earn interest, are taxed.

Unless your Husband has a problem with you having your own money or account... I don't think its a situation where you have to "hide" your own money.

Sure, you can have an account in only your name. Why not? That is what millions of people do everyday, whether married or single. You don't have to have a secondary name on the account, unless they will be responsible for the account as well or need access to it. But, you can name a "beneficiary" for the account.

Just because someone is a SAHM... it does not mean that they are not able to have any money or accounts for themselves. It does not mean that they have to 'give up' their own financial accounts or savings or their own spending money or be broke themselves.

Didn't you have any accounts, for yourself, while you were still single and not married yet? Did you keep any of those accounts? Didn't you have any credit cards while still single prior to getting married?

And yes, it is GOOD that you are thinking that you need some emergency money that is your own. And your Husband should have some saved as well.

Ultimately, you should be able to tell your Husband your needs and wishes. You don't have to ask "permission." You are an adult. You are entitled to have your own money and checking or savings accounts. It is nothing to hide or feel secretive about. Unless, your Husband is the type of man that does not believe in a woman being independent?

All the best,
Susan

You can be more responsible and independant without being secretive. Maybe it's me, but I think a strong marriage has full disclosure. How would you feel if you found out he had money or a credit card in his own name and didn't tell you? Wouldn't you think there was something fishy about it? I personally see no reason why you can't open an account in your own name and not be secretive about it. I have an account in my own name with my mom as the secondary, but my husband knows about it

I wouldn't want to ask my husband for money every time I wanted to buy something. There's nothing wrong with you having your own bank account and/or a credit card in just your name. It's also a good idea to have your own credit history. Though I don't think keeping an account a secret is a very good idea. If you're looking to have more responsibility in your household, maybe you can become more involved in handling the finances, bills, groceries,etc. Can you talk to your husband and tell him how you feel?

Veronica,
To answer your question, yes, you can open an account in your name only. Many banks offer accounts with online statements that are emailed to you, so if getting mail from the bank is a concern, I would look into that. In terms of taxes, I think that is going to be tricky. If the combined interest earned on all of your accounts (including dividends) exceeds $400 you are going to have to claim it on your taxes.
I am primarily a SAHM as well, and my husband brings home the vast majority of our income, so I think I understand what you are saying about having to ask for money if you want to buy him a gift, but you also mention "emergency money." What kind of emergency were you thinking about when you asked the question. Do you have concerns about your joint finances or with your husband that make you feel like you need to hide money from him? Whatever your answers to these questions are I think you should seriously consider becoming an equal partner in you financial life with your husband. Start asking questions, sit down with your husband and pay bills together, discuss where your money is going and why. Being "taken care of" does not have to mean that you are in the dark or not in control of your money.
Best of luck to you.

I did not feel the previous posters were "slamming" you, in fact almost everyone was supportive of you having your own account, it was just not clear why you wanted it to be a secret. Of course, you do not need to give a reason or go into your personal life at all. I think it is just natural for other moms to see that as a red flag and are concerned that you might be in a negative situation. They may have assumed too much or offered advice that you didn't need or ask for, but I feel it was done out of an honest desire to help. As far as the plant comment/idea, one respondent was simply sharing her personal method for saving money and avoiding any trouble with bank statements, etc. You can take it or leave it.
As most others have said, yes, you can get an account without him knowing. I think it would be awhile before it was accruing enough interest to claim the interest as income. I wish you luck in finding an answer that works for you.

You can have your own account without keeping a secret from your husband. Take the spending money your hubby gives you and put it aside for his bday gifts, extras etc... No need to hide anything from him. Secrets lead to lies, lead to an unhappy marriage.

I think every woman needs some secret money to save for emergencies. Save enough to have at least 50 or 100 dollars. Most banks want u to open with at least that amount and tell them you dont want any statements mailed or i know people who open a po box. I would say get your statements online but if you were afraid he would find out how about a person like a family member or friends email address.

HI Veronica, So you are feeling the need to protect yourself. I can understand that, and you should follow your instincts and go for it. If they still have them you could get a passbook savings account. You get a small book which they record deposits, withdrawls and intrest in. There are no statements involved. You could also try a paper-less account that you manage on-line. You could also have any statements sent to your parents home or the home of a trusted brother/sister. You should have at least one credit card in your name only. And you should know how to handle...and all the bills involved in the running of your home. What would you do if something were to happen to your husband? I hope you are not in an abusive relationship...and if you are, please please please get out! Best wishes.

I just wanted to say sorry for any negative responses you may have gotten on here. I've noticed alot of bitchy high horsey comments on here before and I think that's sad. We are supposed to lift each other up. ------
anyway, open up your own bank account and your own po box at the post office. Then there's no problem with mail coming to your house. If you ever need someone to talk to my name is L. and I'll give you my number. I've helped many friends out of abusive relationships. It's what you do as a good person in this world. Know what I mean?;)

It is always a good idea to have a stash, although $15.00 a week will take a long time to add up. Have you considered getting a part time job? I worked at a Preschool/Mother's Day Out for 18 years, my kids went for free, and I made some money. When my kids started school, the preschool kept the same calendar the public school did, so I was still officially a SAHM. It helped me feel more independent and safer to have my small bank account. I don't know your situation, but I didn't hide mine from my husband, I told him it was a private account for family surprises. That first year at Christmas I bought him a gorgeous ring with my savings; he treasures that ring even more since it was from my hard-earned bank account, and other times I would save and we would take surprise family mini vacations. Just a thought...

For a variety of reasons (including seeing what happened to my Mother when my Dad left her), my husband and I have kept our finances completely separate. We each have certain bills we pay and we make all "large" financial issues together, but I have my account and he has his, at separate banks and neither can access the other's money. We have agreed upon savings levels for emergency fund and retirement. I have read a lot of advice that says this is bad for your marriage... but it totally works for us. I work full-time, so its a little different than your situation.

You need your own money, period. And if you FEEL like you need your own money, you DEFINITELY need your own money.

I post this just to tell you - do what you need to do. I agree that secrecy is not the best idea. I would just open it and let him know you've done it. Or if he asks about it, just say, "oh yes, I have my own account." Matter of fact. There's no need for him to get crazy about it. You just want to have your own money. There's nothing wrong with that. Most online banks nowadays do everything electronically, so there's no statement coming to the house, anyway. If however, telling him this would endanger you, don't tell him.

Best of luck.

Hi, Veronica:
I wonder why you are allowing your husband to keep you co-dependent?

Keeping secrets destroys a marriage.

Look up the Karpman Drama Triangle and look at ways that you can discover what the challenges are in your marriage.

Another opportunity is to go to a Co-Dependents Anonymous support group meeting.

look it up at www.coda.org

Good luck. D.

No time to read the other answer, but no slamming here. I think it's fine to have your own money...although I would encourage to do so openly, and if you're hesitant to do that, to think about why, etc. You would need to report things for taxes, though. I would check with an accountant....

I'm not sure why you think this account needs to be a secret. If I found out my husband had a secret bank account I would probably leave him; certainly it would be a MAJOR violation of my trust and would, at least, lead to enormous amounts of counseling. I also have a little bit of a problem with people in a marriage having their "own" money-- at least in the legal sense. My husband and I maintained separate checking accounts for years, but we were "on" each other's accounts-- we just didn't use them.

If I'm reading the subtext here correctly, your husband is using money to control your relationship. If that is so, that's totally not ok. I don't know what your family situation is (maybe he doesn't even realize this bothers you, maybe he's an abusive jerk, I don't know) but you do, and you probably know what needs to be done next. Is it a conversation? A request for counseling? Hightailing it to shelter? I don't know. But a secret bank account isn't going to fix your situation.

You don't have to have money to have something to stand on. You have rights and dignity as a person-- but even so, you "have" 50% of what money he makes. I suggest you find a way to access it-- soon.

Taxes are the problem. I would keep cash hidden at home somewhere or get a safe deposit box. The rules stink,but that's true. Nothing wrong with having some cash set aside. You should think of talking to husband about 1 credit card in your name.

No slamming here. I think its important for you to have your own money. (Men hide money all the time & since your hubby isn't involving you in the finances; he may be.)
You could open a passbook account or a regular savings account & have statements emailed to you. I would open a new, independent email account for this. (It sounds like your husband is very controlling & he may have the password to your current email w/out you knowing it. Passwords are surprisingly easy to figure out. I've guessed my husbands on more than one account.)
As for taxes: if you are only depositing $15 per week; you won't make enough money to be taxed on it. I think technically you have to list it on your taxes, but it won't affect what you owe. So I wouldn't worry about it. (Waitresses never list their tips - which are a significant portion of their income & they don't get audited. So the likely hood of you getting audited is slim. Just keep your yearly tax statement from the bank, just in case.)
Good luck.

You can open your own savings account and have the statements email only. I think every woman should have savings of her own. It's up to you who you tell about it.

Why shouldn't you have a little savings for yourself?? I don't think there is anything wrong with saving some money for yourself/ What if you have an emergency and need something? What if you want to surprise him with a gift? I think everyone should have savings.

No slamming here! I TOTALLY AGREE..I am also a SAHM and there is no reason why you cant have some control over your life by having a emergency fund and belive me there will be a time when you need it! I liquidated my 401K when I got pregnant and the afther of my chld and I were NOT married and I knew that he was not going to suppport me. So I put a chunk of it away. I gave to my Mom to hold in a savings and when I needed any money she would then send it to me in a money order.You dont have to account for everything you do. There is no tax trail or a way for him to account for it unless if he finds the book they give you to record your deposits.Have a friend (you trust) or family member open the account if you feel funny about doing it yourself. I am quite sure Suze Orman would be in total agreeance with saving money...read her book. There is always going to be rainy days.. I used the money to pay down my bills and for emergencies...I fully support your decision and I hope it works out for you!

Everyone deserves their own money and anyone who thinks that they know everything about their mate is fooling themselves. There is no harm in having a rainy day fund. For a small sum of money, putting it in an envelope behind a mirror or under a drawer or with a trusted relative may suffice. If you need a bank account, might I suggest opening an account in your child's name with your name as the only parent on the account. This can serve two goals... a nest egg building up for your child and an emergency fund that only you can touch until your child is older, which does not need to be a secret.

I think you will have to check with your bank on the statements - maybe it is something you can request not to have them sent out. Most banks require about $100 to open an account, so you may need to save for a little first (or maybe you already have). Unless you have a huge amount of money in there, the interest will be very small - maybe if you're not concerened about interest, and want just secrecy a checking account with no interest may be better for you. Maybe you can get a credit card in your name only - just for emergencies - good luck

I don't know if my post went through so, I'm typing it again. : ) I honestly haven't read ANY of the other answers but I say DO IT!!! I have a healthy, happy realtionship and I have my own savings account. My husband knows about it but he doesn't have access to it and he has no idea how much is in it. If you feel like this is something that you need to do then it probably is and you should DO IT!! You can usually go "paperless" and the bank will send your statemnets electronically to your e-mail address. If your husband knows your e-mail address and password - create a new one - Yahoo lets you for free. GOOD LUCK!!!

T. C.

It sounds like money isn't the real issue here... control is. It sounds to me like you feel like you have no freedom and are completely trapped and being treated like a child/dependent. That isn't healthy. The solution, however, is not to secretly squirrel away money. I promise you, that won't help you feel less trapped! It will make you feel like a teenager, rebelling, and that is, if anything, less healthy. What you need to do is talk to your husband. It may be that he feels like he is being a man, and doing a good job taking care of you by being responsible for the finances. I know men who are like that, and I know women who appreciate not having to worry about it... but I am not like that, and it sounds like you aren't, either.

Ultimately, I suspect the solution is to talk to him about what your expectations are. Tell him you want to have more control over/knowledge of your finances. If you're secretive enough to want a secret bank account, you may be secretive enough that he doesn't even know how you feel. Under no circumstances should you go behind his back unless you want him going behind yours. Be open and up front, and just let him know how you feel.

(NOTE: If he is abusive as others have suggested, a women's shelter might be a better solution. Don't wait until $15 adds up in a plant!)

well, my hubby LOVES to burn thru money... so i have my/our emergency cash and i keep it hidden in a fake plant of mine so he wont touch it. if he see it in the safe, its not in there for really long. its too tempting for him. just a thought.