Back talking...sassy Attitude 3 Year Old...

I don't have an answer for you. All I can say is you are NOT alone. I have been dealing with the same thing myself. The only thing that works on my daughter is putting her in her room until she can be polite. Its frustrating and frightening to know that if you yell at her because shes in danger that she will simply ignore you. I feel for you. I haven't read through the other answers but I will now and hopefully some sage mother has some words of wisdom.

Chin up, this too shall pass.

If it's a situation where safety is concerned (i.e. she is about to run into a street), then you need to physically restrain her. If that means picking her up kicking and screaming and dumping her into her room (or car seat, if you are out and about), well then, so be it. You're bigger, you're stronger, and safety is not negotiable.

When it comes to transition times (for instance, she is coloring and it's time to stop and eat lunch), have you tried giving her advance warning? For instance, "Mathilda, in 5 minutes, we're going to stop coloring and eat lunch." and then 2 minutes later, "Mathilda, in 3 minutes, we're going to stop coloring and eat lunch." And then 3 minutes later, "Mathilda, our 5 minutes is up! Time to stop coloring and eat lunch." Then start to put the crayons away. Both of my girls are strong-willed to say the least, but this trick helped us. Somehow having a few minutes to adjust makes it less of a battle. Additionally, never, ever say, "Mathilda, do you want to stop coloring and eat lunch now?" Use, "It's time to..." so you are not asking a question. Asking a question gives them the chance to say no, and that sets up a power struggle. Remember, kids need a leader - be the leader.

Our youngest is hugely melodramatic (cries about every little disappointment) and when she starts in with that, I tell her, "You'll have to do that in your room until you have control of yourself." She has every right to cry, and I have every right to confine this behavior to a different part of the house than where I am.

Lastly, I leave you with John Rosemond's Bill of Rights for Children: http://www.rosemond.com/--RosemondsbrBill-of-Rights-for-C...
This is our "bible" of child-raising. Straightforward and simple and it works.

Best of luck! And remember, a strong-willed child is usually a very bright child. That will be a very good thing long-term!

I used to work in a daycare and there was this little boy who was absolutely HORRIBLE with the language he would use (wonder where he got that?). After taking all sorts of discpilinary actions, the final thing that worked for us was a wedge of lemon. He had to suck on the lemon for 10 seconds and was not allowed a drink of anything for 1 minute after. That worked rather well since he absolutely hated the lemon. Now, had he been my own child,I would have resorted back to Mom & Dad's method of teaching me--the same as you described above...the quick pop in the mouth. Nothing that leaves a lasting mark, but something that lets her know you mean business and that her behavior will not be tolerated. Praying this all works out for you!

I have had the same problem with my little girl. I have learned that it is not always what you say, the tone that you use, but how they hear what you mean for them to do. like for exsample if it's time to clean up you might say pick up your toys...and after the second time with a little different tone....and if you are anything like me pissed if you have to repeat it any more. I learned that most children like to be helpers so if you ask can you please help me with....it does help most of the time. The sassyness, well I am still working on that but my little girl does not like getting her mouth washed out with soap.... not enough to make her sick but enough to let her know I mean bussiness. I hope this helps

I think that with this come so many questions. Is she getting enough sleep, enough time with her mom and dad, enough attention (undivided), does she feel secure, loved, needed, important. Those are just a few that come to my mind. I, too, have a 3 year old daughter. Our discipline is different than what you'd described, for the most part. Our focus with our daughter is to build her up as a person, through positive discipline. I think that children really respond better to positive discipline: receiving rewards, speaking kindly, lots of hugs, high fives, praise, feeling empowered to make good decisions. I believe that if a child only hears what she cannot do, or that she is being negatively disciplined (punished) for something she has done, there is no example of HOW her parents want things done. It is our job as parents to positively model life, and what is expected of us as adults. Let's face it, being a parent is the hardest damn job on earth!
I'm constantly learning more about myself as a person, but most importantly, as a mom. I'd definitely suggest to pick up The No-Cry Discipline Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It can help you reframe your approach, and decide what is important to you in raising your daughter.
Great question, and I really hope this helps you! Being a parent is a challenge, but it is the most rewarding challenge of them all. :)

-T.

It can be very challenging to find out what work for each individual child. We also tried taking away privleges and toys but it didn't seem to matter. What worked for us was taking away her favorite stuffed animal that she slept with. It made it difficult on us as far as sleeping, but it made an impact on her. You can also try taking things out of her room one at a time. If she doesn't listen, take away the fun sheets, take out all the toys (bag them up and put them in the garage, take the door off the hinges and take it out, take out the bed and put the mattress on the floor and have her earn these things back with good behavior. You can also try making a sticker chart and puting on a sticker when she shows respectful behavior and does nice things. Once she earns a certain number you can go see a movie or get ice cream or whatever you decide is appropriate. This may encourage the good behavior instead of focusing on the bad. We've all been there, good luck!

There's a book How to Talk to Your Children So They Will listen.......

First of all, congratulations on taking so many different approaches to disciplining her and recognizing that some are more effective than others (or not in this case).

3 was a really tough age for our son as well, and we're still trying to figure out why the listening ears don't work.

It took a lot of consistency and him maturing for it to improve. I do strongly believe that you, the parent, needs to establish yourself as an authority figure and as the one who gets to make/enforce the rules. We realized we were doing a lot more correcting at one point, and we started trying to do a better job of praising what he does do well (saying please, thank you, helping his sister do things, doing chores/favors for us). Eventually, he realized that he liked the hugs and high-5s more than the discipline.

However, we still have problems. We asked him one day which punishment he liked the least, and we decided that was the one to use because it was likely most effective.

Good luck - I wish I had more advice. Trust your instincts and take our advice with a grain of salt.

sassy spray. vinegar and water. spray it in her mouth when she is sassy or bad. Good luck!!!

When my first daughter was 3 she was just like this! I found out that I was NOT being consistent and found that putting her in her room was the only thing that worked. It was a forced time out. She could not get out and could stay there until she was done with her meltdown. I was so young at the time (21) and was just generally clueless. She got A LOT better when she was 4. She still hates those timeouts and she's 9. If she acts rude, or sassy, she gets to go to her room. Period! Good luck! Her daycare director once told us that she was the most strong willed child that they had ever met and that they would never forget her. They even reccomended a seminar for parents with this "issue". lol. It WILL get better, I promise!