Back Out When Someone Has Put a Deposit Down

It's always ok to back out. Hopefully they offer to find someone to fill the spot. If I was spearheading this thing, I wouldn't make you pay the rest of the money, due to the circumstances. Best of luck and hang in there.

Well,
If you were a friend of mine, under THESE circumstances, I would NOT make you pay.

Back out, offer to pay...hopefully they are decent enough NOT to take it, or they will find someone else willing to take your spot.

Condolences to you and your family.

Robyn,

I am so sorry for your loss. Yes. It is fine to back out now. Tell them and they can find someone to fill your spot. Take good care of you. M

I'm so sorry for your family tragedy, and I'm sure it will be hard to go celebrate. My family has been touched by suicide and I know it's not something that you get over quickly. I would explain it to the organizer (or ask a close friend to do it on your behalf), and ask if they can try to find a replacement who can pay you her deposit directly. I hope they will not keep your money in order to continue to lower the price by bringing in more people, but in the grand scheme of things, it's more important that you support your mother and the entire family, and get support yourself. The money, while nice, really pales in comparison.

Yes, of course it is OK to back out. The sooner the better so that they can fill your spot, or the rest of gals can split your non-refundable deposit.

Your family emergency trumps this bus ride.

Sorry to hear about the situation. Suicides are a complicated mess of emotions to navitage.

This is a terrible thing. I'm so sorry your family is going through this. That you can even think about this other stuff right now is amazing.

That said, forget about this "no backing out" and send a mass email out to the group telling them that you have had a death in the family and will not be able to go on this trip. Leave it at that. If these people hit you up with a bill, they are not your friends.

I would not think about this anymore AT ALL. You take care of your family right now. They DO have time to fill the spot, but even if they don't, the cost spread around for all of them is not a hardship on them. So don't even bring up the money. Make your email to them short.

So sorry, Robyn.

Dawn

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I am so, so sorry to hear about your uncle.

Definitely don't go on the trip if you're not up for it. You won't have fun and you'll regret going.

As for the money, tell the organizers what happened and why you're not going anymore. If they ask you to pay, just do it, since you did commit and others may have agreed to go because the price was lowered by your contribution. Suggest that they try to find a replacement to take over your portion (and reimburse you if they do), but don't make a big deal out of it. Yes, it sucks to pay money for something you're not going to, but in the long run it's better to just let it go than to add one more stress to your life.

Quite frankly if your friends don't "let you off the hook" under these circumstances they're just not friends! I disagree that you should have to pay under these circumstances. If you were backing out WITHOUT a good reason, then yes, you should have paid your share.

Given that the circumstances preventing you from going are both tragic and unexpected, I really don't think you need to give it another thought, just like Dawn said.

Condolences for your tragic loss.

It IS ok to back out as long as you don't expect your money back. They relied on you to help pay for it. What if 5 other people had to back out for really important reasons, then the trip would be cancelled. Being your friend, I would understand, but it's not just you, it's everyone and having to get everyone else to pitch in more money. Like I said, if 5 other people backed out, the price might be too high for the other people who already agreed to the terms AND having to recalculate the prices over and over is a hassle.

I would write your FB friend and say something like, "My uncle just committed suicide and my M. is a mess. I need to stay here and take care of her. I understand that this event is non-refundable and I really want to go, but I can't. If you can get someone to fill my spot and refund my money, please do so. If not, I understand. Please go and have the time of your life."

I'm really sorry for your loss.

first, i am so so sorry for what your family is enduring, that is just terrible :( of course you can back out, but i would still offer to pay. if the friend(s) say don't worry about it, then don't, but please just send a quick note and ask who you can paypal the money to, and then be done with it and put your energy into your family. again, i'm so sorry.

I think you are obligated to pay your share. Try to get the spot filled and if they can, that person can reimburse you.

Sorry for your loss.

It is okay to back out but you have to pay. They might get someone else to go, maybe not, so you need to pay and if they fill it they can refund your money.

The easy way to look at it is if it was you that had put out money for someone else how would you feel if someone stuck you with their portion?

Sorry for your loss if they do not undstand that than you should not have a desire to kick it with them anytime soon anyway!

I agree with many responses. It's okay to back out. But you still must pay your share.
Explain the situation, ask them to see if they could find a replacement, but assure them that you will pay your share if they cannot. Hopefully they can find a replacement. If not, perhaps they may decide to just let you off the hook anyway. That would be the gracious thing to do, but certainly should not be expected.
Good luck.
And blessings to you.

I think that under the circumstances, backing out is completely appropriate. It's not like you've just decided that you don't want to go, or something to that effect. You've had a major tragedy hit your family, and that's where you're needed the most. The fact that you no longer want to attend the trip should tell you that it is already affecting you and that it isn't something that is going to be good for you. I would contact the person who planned the trip, explain the situation, and apologize for not being able to attend. But DO NOT let her or anyone else make you feel bad for prioritizing your family first. If the money is an issue for her, offer to let the deposit stay in the fund and offer to find a replacement for your spot. That should be more than sufficient for you having to bow out due to family matters, which should come first as you are obviously planning on doing. From reading your post, it seems to me that your M. needs you very much right now, and if you have siblings, I'm sure they also need as much support as you're able to offer at this pont. I hope it all works out for you. Again, I really hope that your friends are understanding of your tragedy, and if not, then maybe you should reconsider wh you associate with people who cannot support or understand you in your time of need. God bless, and I hope that your family heals from this terrible event.

Sorry to hear about your family problems.

Yes, you need to back out immediately. You'll loose your deposit, but does that really matter at this point.

Tell them to please beg one of their other friends/colleagues/relatives to take your place-I'm sure they would try to help. I'm so sorry for your loss and the sadness you must be living with. I hope your dear brother has found his peace-I wish, however, he'd have thought about your poor mother-Again, so sorry.

Explain the horrible tragedy & tell your friend that while you must back out, you'd be willing to pay your part if she is unable to fill your spot.

Hopefully, your friend (and all the other people) will do the right thing & tell you not to worry about it (unless it really brings the price way up, Icant imagine anyone making you pay).

Prayers & good thoughts to you & your family.

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I am certain she was just saying that the bus deposit is non refundable and made it fun by saying "no backing out now". Your situation is so tragic that I am certain that if you reach out and express your situation, they will be motivated to find someone to take your spot.