I have a wonderful babysitter who is in her mid-twenties and loves my 2 year old. She watches her two days a week for a total of 14 hours. However, I've had a few concerns over the last couple of months. My babysitter isn't much of a cook, so she's been buying outside food for my daughter. I don't mind too much about that, but some of her choices -- bagels with jelly, pizza, ice cream -- aren't my preference which we clearly stated when we hired her; avoid sugar.
At the same time we've noticed that she has been eating our food in an odd way -- half a carton of ice cream, an entire two liter of soda, whole box of granola bars. I had started to become worried that she was either nutritionally clueless or has poor impulse control or a binge eating problem. I know she exercises a lot and is very conscious of her body.
Well, before I had a chance to figure out how to discuss these issues with her, she was hospitalized for fainting due to extremely low sodium levels. I don't know most of the specifics, but I know she was on a respirator for three days. I'm obviously worried about her health in general (I'm a social worker with experience in Eating Disorders), but I have no idea how to handle this situation as an employer and a mother.
I want to respect her privacy and health, but I don't know how to regain my trust without asking certain questions. I want to know that she is going to be taking care of herself so that this won't happen again when she is taking care of my daughter.
If you are worried at all, just find a new sitter. There is no need for the stress and questioning with this one, plus the money she is costing you in food!
Maybe she is a pot smoker, sounds like the munchies to me :)
I would get another babysitter.
Your child's safety is primary.
If she is going to be caring for your daughter you HAVE to ask her questions because this is a safety issue, especially if she ever drives with your daughter in the car. I wish I had some good advice about how to bring it up and what exactly to ask but as for when - BEFORE the next time you leave your daughter with her. And if you don't feel comfortable after you've spoken with her then you need to find another babysitter.
If you plan on keeping her, you need to set very strict rules on what she can eat in your home and what she can feed your kids. Also, I don't know if there are any laws saying you can't ask her what the problem was in this kind of setting, but letting her know your concerns and possibly giving her a pamphlet on the subject shouldn't hurt. She obviously has a problem and if you offend her, that's not important.
I have nannied before and it isn't weird for a parent to say, this is the menu and you can eat such and such, but not such and such, and we have this many snacks a day, and these are the acceptable snacks... Especially considering her possible eating disorder she probably needs that guidance.
She is old enough to learn to cook and to follow basic directions and behaviors on eating other people's foods. If she can't do that, find someone else. Now if it really is an eating disorder, than menu planning may not help anyways.
For the passing out issue, that can't be safe around your child, so if she can't get this under control, she shouldn't be allowed to be caring for your child, or even driving for that matter. Perhaps you should give her time to reevaluate this before inviting her back.
You should be worried...as you already probably know, bulimia can cause low sodium levels. A fainting spell doesn't leave you on a respirator for three days unless there is some underlying issue.
You need to have an open discussion with her about your concerns--you can keep it focused on healthy choices for your daughter. If you feel as though she is in denial, you need to seek other care for your daughter.
There are PLENTY of healthy food choices that require little or no cooking. Provide the food you want offered to your daughter during the day.
just ask her. You're an adult, she's an adult. With your experience, you know that these eating disorders can induce a heart attack. If she's binging on junk food, that's most likely what she's feeding your daughter.
If it's this bad in her 20's, then it's only going to get worse. I think you need to find a better caregiver. Babysitters are a dime a dozen and don't come highly qualified. It's probably time to bite the bullet and either do a very experienced in home caregiver, or a higher paid nanny with years of experience.
I think that your child's safety comes first and I would not have her babysit anymore. Bulemia can cause low sodium levels, but there are other causes too. I think that you have a right to open a discussion with her about it. If she chooses not to discuss it, then I would drop it.
What a heartbreaking problem. From what you tell us, she apparently has an eating disorder; if she's not overweight with those food choices, then she's probably also purging, which would increase the possibility of the electrolyte disturbance. And as you know with your training, setting strict rules for her will make no difference if she has an eating disorder.
I would talk to her, but look for another sitter. Her health is your rightful concern since her disorder could put your child at risk. I would be none too happy about the foods she chooses for a 2yo, either.
I've been on medications that have given me the side effect of dizziness. When that was happening I talked it over with my daughter, because I was spending one day a week with my grandson, and I did not want to risk his safety or emotional security. It was only right that my daughter be apprised of even a slight potential for trouble.
Good luck. I wish you all well.
If she's not a friend of the family, I think worrying about her is more work than you signed up for. She works for you, right? If you keep her on, I would give her new and strict instructions on what the child is going to eat, and she should buy and prepare only that stuff. Finally, while you can't ask her questions, you can TELL her that passing out on the job is not going to cut it, and she should plan to eat proper meals before she comes to work and she is no longer to help herself to the snacks and desserts in the house, HOWEVER, she can sit down with your child and eat what your child is eating according to the menu plan you worked out. If baby has grilled cheese and salad, so does sitter. This is good for the child too, the message is that meal time is meal time and that is when we eat real food.
