Baby Won't Sleep in His Own Bed !!!!

it sounds like a good bedtime routine would help. here is what i would sugest. pick a bedtime, then something quite to do just before he goes to bed, like books or sing a soft song. and no matter WHAT keep it the same EVERY night. it will take time but if you keep on it and NEVER give in then he will ajust. i had to do something similar with my daughter who is now 6.

You didn't do anything wrong. You are expecting him to change his behavior because you have changed your sleeping preferences and he is too young to understand that, or why.

What you did was perfectly normal and natural and it will take a while to acclimate him to a new arrangement. Leaving him alone to cry until he vomits will only make it worse (I'm sure you know this now, we all make mistakes).

Think about your reasons for wanting him in his own bed. Independence in children is fostered through allowing the child to be dependant on you and feel safe in that. They work toward independence slowly, and it sounds like your son simply isn't ready to sleep alone yet, can you put off moving him until his second birthday? I know you will get lots of advice here about HOW to make him sleep in his own bed, but maybe you could consider waiting a while longer.

We co-slept with all four of our children until they were 3yo. It didn't affect our sex life, it didn't make sleeping anymore difficult, and we now have wonderful memories of it. These little years go by so fast, and I know we share a closeness we wouldn't have if we had spent all that time trying to force them to do something they weren't ready for. All of them transitioned slowly but completely to their own beds by age 3.

Co-sleeping is not evil or wrong. It's a perfectly normal way to spend the first few years of your sleeping life, with your parents safe and secure knowing they are right there if you need them. Children's fears of sleeping alone are very real, and helping them feel safer and attending to this need is very important for their development.

We went through the same thing with our now nearly 3 year old daughter. What we do make the transition a bit easier (and to try and avoid the throwing up) was leave her in her crib for a little while letting her cry. Before she was upset enough to throw up, we'd go get her, comfort her in our bed, and before she fell asleep again, we'd put her back in her crib again.

Don't feel bad if you aren't successfull on your first attempt. I ended up crying myself, and putting her back in my bed for the night, and we'd try again the next night. The first attempt we made it 2 days and quit trying for a month, the second attempt we made it three days and quit trying for a couple weeks, the third attempt we made it for a whole week and were successful.

Now, my 8 month old co-sleeps because I'm breastfeeding him, and at about 5 o'clock every morning my nearly 3 year old daughter climbs in bed with us. We're working on transitioning her out of it, but its a slow go and my husband and I are both suckers for a little girl at the door saying "daddy, I lay down pweese?" with her sad little eyes. As long as she's out before we have another one, the full size bed is FULL! :) Good luck!

J.,

A great resource for co-sleeping info is www.askdrsears.com. He advocates co-sleeping, but also gives you lots of suggestions for helping your children to transition.

I agree with the others that you did not do anything wrong in co-sleeping. We are one of the few cultures in the world that thinks there is something wrong with it.

J.

Elisabeth A said it so well. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF FOR WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT!!!!!!! Somedays, I wish my daughter would sleep with me.My hubby works crazy hours, and I sometimes want someone in bed with me. I miss those times. I loved co-sleeping, and I think that it is very good for the mom esp when breastfeeding.My daughter would not sleep in her crib either.I think she was like 10 or 11 months old when I finally just let her cry. It was HARD, but more so for me then for her. Believe me!!!!! The first night was hell. I placed her in her crib awake(awake is the key), and let her alone.She screamed, and at first I went right in to calm her down, and then I thought about it...that was what she wanted from me....To come in and pick her up. NO NO NO!!!!I didnt pick her up, I didnt say anything.All I did was go in the room, lay her back down, and rub on her back, and head. I walked out again. I waited 10 min of her crying/screaming, and went in again, then 15 min, tis went on for an hour and a half.
But, guess what????The next night was only 45 min, and then the third night was 20 min. In one week, I had her in her crib, and she fussed(Not scream or cry) for 5 min, and then fell asleep.Just stick to your guns, but also stick to your heart. The change is going to have to happen quick if you are going to do it, but if you arent ready for the split then wait.

My daughter slept in our bed most of the time until after i stopped breastfeeding when she was around 13 months. You did what was right for your family by co-sleeping. My daughter started out just sleeping the first couple of hours in her crib and then we moved her into our bed. (she throws up too when she gets really upset). If one of us would stay awake long enough, then sometimes we were able to move her back into her own bed after about 20minutes. there were good weeks adn bad weeks, it's been a gradual process, but it's worked for our family. She is now 21 months old and sleeps in her own bed all night around 75% of the time. The other nights she spends at least the first few hours in her own crib. There are very few nights when she actually is in our bed all night. good luck.

Elisabeth A said it best!! I still co-sleep with my daughter and will continue to until she is ready for her own bed. It's just so much easier that way, why fight it?

I had the same problem and nothing works until..I thought like you did they love to be next to you so i put his racecar bed next to mine..Yes i know you will have to get out the other side of the bed but he is next to mommy but in his own bed..Then after sometime you will see that he loves his own bed.So what i did was moved hibed closer to the door and then week later in his own room..It really worked for me, but my son was 3 at the time ..So he may need a couple more months in your bed but then try it..

Good luck H.

Good luck

What I did when we had theis problem with my eldest is this.... make sure you do it on a weekend cause it will be tiresome.

Take him to his room, lay him down, and lay down on the floor next to his bed.
No talking to him, no eye contact, nothing.

If he gets out of bed, place him back in bed calmly and go back to your position.

It may take a while to get him to sleep but after the first few nights he'll get it.

Every night I did this I sat further and further away from his bed. Now it's bed time, I turn out the light and close the door. Good luck.

We have a mattress on the floor in our room. We start our son out on the mattress and when he wakes, pick him up, let him fall back asleep and then move him back to the mattress. He has been sleeping on it longer and longer stretches. Also, make sure he sleeps there for his naps too so that he is comfortable somewhere other than your bed. Good luck!

Hi J.! A friend had the same situation & she slept on the floor next to his crib where the baby could see her. I know...a bit of a pain in the rear, but it worked for her. Each night the amount of time it took to calm the baby down was less & less & finally he was good on his own.

With my son I just rock him until he's sleeping & then put him down. If he wakes back up I rock him again & this goes on until he's out. After doing this he gets it that Mama isn't going to bring him into bed with her. It's not the ideal situation, but I can't let him cry too long...I'm a softy.

Good luck!! Warmest regards, G.

I saw on tv ( I forget what show) that a little girl refused to sleep in her own bed, and cried like yours. What they did was put a kind of tent on her bed so that she would want to be in it, and got two way baby monitors so she could talk to her parents. Maybe you could try that.

Is this a problem because it bothers you, or because other people are making you feel something is wrong? In many countries, co-sleeping is normal and expected. In the US, we think something is wrong with it. (Probably because,as a culture, we prize independence.) But babies and young children NEED their parents; it's frightening and lonely for them to be shut away alone, at night.

My girls are 7 and 9, and at around age 5, they wanted their own beds. I think co-sleeping until the kids are ready makes them more secure and confident. And as for opportunities to be alone with your husband ... are there other beds in the house? Or could you make opportunities by sending the kids to a friend's or relative's house?

Good luck, and remember ... you need to do what's best for your baby.

well my son was like that. i just let him cry at night till he fell asleep. it took a while but he fell asleep now he is 5