Baby Won't Sleep in Crib...

HI L.
I am in the same boat. I have been trying to transition my son (he is 5 1/2 months) to his crib and it has been a battle. I tried letting him CIO but I just could not deal with this. I have come to the conclusion that when he is ready to do this he will so I am waiting a little longer. For now I am happy to have him sleep with me. I do try to put him in his crib occasionally at nap times. Sometimes it works. If you find anything that works please pass along the info. Good luck!

T.

L. I understand exactly what you are talking about. I have been raising my two nephews since birth. The youngest had upper respiratory problems and an infection when he was born and had to be hospitalized for almost a month after he was born. I literaly lived at the hospital while he was there and often I would sit in the rocking chair holding him close to me. Anyhow when he came home, he was so attached to me and would not sleep in his crib. I ended up purchasing a recliner chair that I put next to his crib thinking that if he saw me next to him that would help but I was wrong lol. He got used to being on my chest and would not sleep unless I held him. Anyhow, I was at my wits end and i didn't know what to do. I started warming his blanket in our clothes dryer and then placing it in his crib right before I put him down to sleep. To my amazement it worked and began to sleep through the night at 3 months of age imagine that! What's funny is to this day, he still likes a warm blanket in his bed and he still curls up with me laying his head right under my chin before he goes off to sleep lol! He is 5 years old might I add. My mother teases me and says that it's my fault that he's skin clingy lol! But at least he's sleed in his own bed.

Now, in your case, your daughter is 7 months old and she is used to sleeping with you. Putting her in the crib by herself is a rough transition for her. I can suggest letting her fall asleep in the bed with you but then you need to place her in her crib once she is sleeping. You may have to stay near her a few nights in the event that she wakes up, pat her back to reassure her that you are there. This may take a while but you can't give in no matter how much she cries. I know it's pretty difficult with a screaming child and it does drive you crazy but you have to establish that boundary with her. Don't give into the screams, she will soon realize that the crying will not work. No matter how much she screams you can't give in. The moment you do she will know that all she has to do is cry and in no time, she will be back in the bed with you. You may have to put her crib into the bedroom with you to make it easier. Remember, she's the child you are the parent. Even at 7 months children learn how to control us lol! In my case I felt that I had to cater to my nephew because he was so sickly, though it was hard for me to allow him to sleep alone, I knew that it had to be done. I work full time and I needed my rest too lol. Many nights I cried but at the same time I knew that it had to be done. You have to tell yourself that you are doing the right thing and the last thing you want to do is start feeling bad or feeling that you are not a good mother for letting her cry. Crying is good for babies believe it or not. :). The motivation that kept me going I told myself this too shall soon pass and eventually he will get tired of crying :). Good Luck and I hope this helps!

Just let her sleep with you a few more months. Try reading The Family Bed. It is awesome. Trying to kick her out now will cause serious separation problems!! Wait until you can reason with her and then you will have no problem. We just got another bed and put it on my side so we had more room and that solved all our issues. Read that book and hang in there. Soon she'll be too busy to snuggle with you and you'll miss it. Trust me, I'm on our fourth baby. I hope she's in our bed for a couple years... I'll miss not having a little one in bed with us. They look so dreamy and it is nice to just pop one eye open and check on them and fall right back to sleep.

I had to just let the boys cry it out, if they know that you will come to the rescue then you keep reinforcing that crying = mom comming and getting me. Try having baby take naps in crib initially. Place baby in crib when she gets fussy and you know she is tired and ready to nap. Try naps and once she gets use to naps thne you can try night. Babies need to learn to fall asleep on their own. feel free to contact if you have further questions. This was a difficult task with twins.

I have the same issue with mine. My little Joshua is now 10 mon old. All the advice I've heard is let him cry it out. However I recently saw a program on Nightline that said hormones are released into the babies body that have a negative effect on the baby and his emotional development. So if you hear of anything different would you please let me know.
Best Regards L.

It seems like a huge change to constantly being with someone to being "locked in a box" from the babies perspective. She may feel like she is being punished or rejected in some way. So what ever you do will have to be gradual.

Have you tried putting her crib in your room? If you have her crib (or even a pack n play) right next to your bed then she can see you, smell you, and hear you and she isn't alone.

If she is held a lot during the day or has constant attnetion from the nanny have the nanny start trying to gradually reduce the constant attention. She could get your daughter interested in a toy and then sit back out of the way for a few minutes. Always there for your daughter to see and hear but not constantly focused on your daughter.

It is important for children to become independant and have time on their own even at a very young age. I used to sit my daughter in a bouncy seat when she was 4 months old, I'd sit right next to her but I would be reading a book or magazine. So I was right there so she didn't feel alone but because she saw me looking away from her she started looking away too. Children need attention, but not constant undivided attention.

Hi L.,
I'm having a similar problem with my 9 month old. She's been sleeping in the bed with us every night and nurses every 2 hours or so. We're so sleep deprived and losing our minds. My husband has insisted that she sleep in her crib. We thought about letting her cry it out, but it seems cruel. I'm going to try tonight to put her in her crib and hope that eventually it will work. I liked a lot of the advice that people gave you. I'm going to feed her a lot before bed and pick her up and nurse her if she cries. I'll keep putting her back in her crib. Our pediatrician said not to try to nap her in her crib first, but instead to try her in the crib at night first. Maybe because she will be more tired at night? I don't know.
I wish you the best. Please let us know how it's going.
- K. M.

Babies are smart they know that if they cry more and harder then you will come...because that's what you have been doing so your reinforcing the crying. Now you shouldn't put your baby in the crib and just leave for the whole hour that's cold turkey and won't work...have you read anything on CIO. You increase the min each time you leave...like first night 1st time let cry 3 min 2nd 5 min and 3rd (and each time after) 7 min. Then the second night you should start w/ 5 min. Now in your case and this is what I did I would stay in the room with my hand on my son's belly and sing to him until he calmed down then when started getting drowsy left room. First time took an hour w/ me in the room the whole time. Whatever you do you have to stick w/ it because your child will continue to cry if you eventually pick her up and actually you are making it even worse for her. The reason she is so clingy is becasue of being alone in crib. My ped. said baby might become more clingy in transistion and to give lots of cuddles during day. Another trick I did was put my son in crib a couple times a day and play w/ him so he would become familar and realize this is not a bad place. Good luck and stay strong!

I tried transitioning my son when he was around your daughters age and he did the same thing. I just waited until he was 11 months old and then put him in his crib for naps when he was really tired and sat next to the crib and patted his back. When he got up, I would just lay him back down and tell him he's a big boy and his crib was so much fun. He would fuss but I never let him get to the point where he was crying hysterically. It took a few days but he finally started sleeping in his crib. I also bought him a bear that plays a heartbeat sound and attached that to the crib. Now he prefers sleeping in his crib. I just think that he wasn't ready when we tried to transition him the first time. So maybe she's not ready yet. And plus, I really miss cuddling with him when he's sleeping!!

Hi L.,
We had the same problem with my now 4 year old. There is a book called the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley that helped a lot. My daughter hated her crib and I tried everything. My mother suggested getting her a toddler bed when she was 10 1/2 months and I did... She was already walking and we taught her how to turn around to get out of it, etc. We put a gate up at her doorway so she couldn't wander outside her room. We got the firetruck toddler bed because it was more enclosed like a crib, but no bars. I put cushioning all over and it was in the corner so she couldn't fall out. It worked! She was so much more comfortable. I know your baby is only 7 months so I'm sure it's too soon right now. I agree that you should start by just playing with your baby during the day in her room and sometimes in her crib with toys interacting with her. It needs to become a familiar safe fun place first before you attempt having her sleep there alone. Do that for a few days while letting her sleep in your bed, then attempt it again starting with naptime. Maybe even stay with her rubbing her back. If she cries or stands up, pick her up, hug her, talk softly, then lay her down again. You might have to do this over many times, but eventually she will trust you and it will work and without crying it out. Then if you master the naps, try the night time and maybe sleep in the room for a few times to be there to reassure her. It's a slow process. With my second daughter, I only had her in the bassinet in our room for about a week (unlike 3 months+ like I did with my now 4 year old). I was not comfortable with my one week old in her crib by herself so I slept in the room for a few weeks. I know that sounds crazy, but I was determined to have the baby be used to her crib before she was even aware of it... she never knew anything different. And sleeping in her room (as opposed to her sleeping in our room) made it easier to separate from her. To this day, my 4 year old still wakes up and gets in our bed a few times a week and my almost one year old has been sleeping in her crib through the night since she was 8 weeks old. I hope some of this helps you. Hang in there, it will get better and takes time. The key is to make her feel safe. And if by one year old she still hates her crib, try the toddler bed. :)K.

I do agree with starting trying the transition at nap times. I had read (I think in Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child) that you should start big transitions like this at nap times. I also remember being told that the worst thing you can do is let your baby CIO for an hour and then go to her at an hour and 5 min. So, basically, either you're going to CIO or not, no in-between. Good luck, I know this is an extremely rough transition & it's tough to figure out what you feel would be best for your child.