Baby Shower Problem

Invite her becasue you are the better person. If she is the type of person you amke her sound to be - she may not come anyway but at least you did the right thing.

easy.
invite the ones you have a good relationship with. a baby shower is never a time to try become friends with someone because it could go either way. the 'unwanted' person may behave well or may try ruin your baby shower. invite the SIL, if you do get asked by anyone (including mom in law) as to why she wasn't invited tell the truth: i don't feel love from her towards me or my kids. period. and i mean period
i have the same kind of MIL and after years of wondering why, well, i stopped wondering. i look at it as it's her loss.
good luck

Just invite who your daughter wants to be there. It is not about anyone but her. I purposely did not invite my sister to either of my baby showers. It's about having a good time..not walking on egg shells..or whatever may be the situation. Good luck!!

I say invite them both. I understand how you feel about your mother-in-law, but your husband will be happy to have her included, and you're taking the high road. She can never hold that against you in the future. Your husband will see that you're trying to keep things civil with his mom, and she may come around eventually (especially with a new baby to love). If not, at least your husband will see that you've done the things you can to keep the relationship as positive as possible, and I think that will make him happy. Usually a man's mom and his wife are the two women he loves the most, and I think it hurts him and stresses him out when they don't get along. So even though I struggle with the same issue, I've really been trying to do the right thing (in regard to my husband's mom) so that my husband will be happier and less stressed. You can think to yourself that you're inviting his mom because you love him, not because you enjoy her company. :) That helps me, anyway! :) Good luck!

Invite them all. And make it a pot luck, so they have some sense of belonging to the family. If they do not show, that is their choice. But you are beyond that pettiness and so go ahead and make everyone welcome in the spirit of love and forgiveness. This is a celebration! Thank god we still have happiness in our lives.
Blessings, S.

Be the bigger person and invite them all. The way you are descibing your MIL she may not even show, and then she looks bad for not coming to her grandchild' baby shower. Good luck to you!

Whose baby shower is this, anyway? Last time I had one, I made the list of people I wanted there, not my mother. Your daughter needs to decide who she wants there. Not you. This is your daughter's special day and it is completely about your daughter and her new baby, not the issue you have with your MIL. My mother hated her MIL but put the pettiness aside for us kids. I suggest you do the same. If your daughter does not want her there then of course, do not invite her but if she does, you don't have a say. And yes, it will cause problems if you don't invite them... probably with your daughter.

If the MIL is a part of holidays and other events in you life I would include her in this one too. If she doesn't want to come she wont. Does your daughter get along with her and want her there? That really is what is important. Good luck!

I think it is going to come out all wrong if you do not remember that this is about the BABY. It is to celebrate your daughter embarking on her journey into Motherhood and the new life that will be added to your family tree. Sure this is your MIL, but, even though the two of you do not get along, the baby may have a wonderful relationship with her in it's future. You do not really say how your daughter feels about her. I also feel that you will be the best example by inviting her and all other relatives as your daughter approves. Why? Because it is the nice thing to do and obviously you are not carrying around a grudge because she does things that are not so nice, and this is still family no matter how undesirable at times. It may put you in a situation that will make it hard to swallow at times, but her thinking your husband's children are not his is a form of control for him and to keep you at bay and keep the two of you unhappy. Invite her, don't go to much out of the way with her there, just meet and greet and offer her things that you may be passing out. Life is too short to let her continue to set the tempo for what should or should not happen because she thinks or does not think. You think and this will show that she has no power over you or control no matter how haughty she can be. She is sitting over there waiting to see, so surprise her, give her a personal invitation. Hand carry it, and just use common courtesy. Control the situation for awhile, sooner or later she will find another vice. In all things, we must be wiser than the serpent and this looks like satan trying to manipulate you into losing sight of the goal which is to celebrate the baby!! Have fun, and let MIL see you all enjoying yourself.

Pray.

God Bless you,
Jen

You invite whomever you want there. Your MIL will not love you any more or any less than what she has shown up to now. It is am event to have fun, so enjoy it with the people you know care.

To keep peace in the family invite them all. After all it is your husband's family. And honestly a Grandchild makes a big difference in how people think. You might be surprised. Your Mother In Law might be one of those people that get all mushy when it comes to a grandchild. I didn't care for my ex Mother In Law but I love my Father In Law. We stayed close right up until he passed away this last year. It's only for one day so why cause more problems with the family. Invite them and relax and enjoy the day...

HI S.,

I'm sorry that you have to go through this family situation but unfortunately if you do not invite your mother in law regardless she is going to take issue with the situation. It's better that you play the bigger person andhave both your sister in law and mother in law invited and even possibly ask your sister in law to act as a buffer in between your mother in law and yourself if you have that type of realtionship with her.

Best of luck!

Who does your daughter want at the baby shower? It's a day for HER not you and so if she wants the mom in law, then invite the mom in law. If she doesn't want her, then don't invite her. A baby shower is supposed to celebrate the precious new life that is coming into the world. Put bad feelings from the past aside and make it about this brand new baby. There shouldn't be any negativity at a baby shower so if it's going be distressful for your daughter to see you and the mom in law trading negative glances, then it's best to not invite her at all.

S.

You should invite your mother in law out of courtesy and politics. It doesn't matter what she thinks about your kids belonging to her son. Once you and your husband knows, who cares. She has the option if she feels that way about the kids, not to come, but don't cause any riff raff with the family on account of a baby shower. She is still your husband's M. and you will be seeing her for other occasions.

Hi S.,
I say invite her and here is why: regardless of how she feels about you or how she treats you, she is your husbands mother and in the end, you will always be able to say that you did the right thing. In the end you will feel good because you were kind and respectful in spite of how she treated you. Being loving always feels better than being hateful. In the end, you are teaching your family goodness and that will come back to you. Congratulations on your impending grandmahood! Just think about all the love you will be getting there - it is the best!

Hi S.,
I would invite all of them. Your mother in law may not even come and if she does, won't it be gratifying to have her see all the people that love your daughter! and that she'll see you and your daughter don't need her.