Baby Sex

I cannot imagine why you would be sad! Congrats! Nothing bad happened! Yay! Why does it change anything?

I know a disappointment but let it go....:) So excited...so...boy or girl? LOL

Once he or she is here will it even matter?

I am sorry you are upset. You had more restraint than I...I had to know with all three...however, I always had dreams and knew before the technician confirmed the gender...

Oh, I'm so sorry, S.. With our first, we lived in Japan. We told the Japanese doctor we didn't want to know the sex of the baby. But, he was so excited for us that we were having a boy, he couldn't contain himself. He kept asking if we were sure we didn't want to know, and we kept saying we were sure. Then, he said, "But, it is *good* news!" Right. He pushed and pushed. Eventually, we caved. "It's a BOY!!" {insert balloons, marching band, hoopla all around-figuratively at least} When we weren't jumping up and down excited that we were having a boy (we were happy with either sex), the doctor was very concerned. He was shocked that we weren't overjoyed. LOL Whatever. Anyway, I decided that no matter when you find out what sex of baby you are having, it is a surprise and exciting. Birth itself is such a hugely emotional and exciting event on its own. I ended up wanting to know the sex of my babies (except one) after that. The one I didn't find out about had such a crazy birth (water didn't break, so he was born in his bag of waters) that went from 3cm to delivery in 30 minutes, that I never even thought to ask what I had had! LOL Oh, by the way, what is it? LOL I like to name my babies early, call them by that name, etc. Look at the positives, what you can do now that you know, and just accept it as a providential blessing. It's a bummer he ruined your plans though!

I'm sorry you feel the surprise was ruined. For me, I always liked knowing what I was having. If it's a surprise at 9 months, it's a surprise at 5 months. There are so many other things that are unknowable about the birth itself, I didn't feel like I was depriving myself of any sort of special treat by not finding out.

Plus I felt that I was able to bond that much more quickly with the baby, who was now "he" or "she," not "it." I could really concentrate on boy or girl names, instead of having to come up with one of each. It was also more fun for my friends when they were planning my shower. Let's face it, buying gender-neutral clothes really isn't as fun as buying specific outfits. No one gets that excited about a green or yellow onesie.

The second time around, it was also really nice to find out, because I was able to better prepare my older child. I could definitively tell him, "You are going to have a baby sister." I think it made things a lot more real for him, and I truly feel it helped him bond more quickly with her. He could call her by her name and talk to her through my belly.

This brings me to the most important reason I like to find out. My son totally wanted a sister, so finding out also gave us time to prepare him just in case the baby turned out to be a boy. He was getting actively upset when we would say, "You'll still love the baby if he's a boy, right?" And while there are a few people that I think really mean it when they say they "just want a healthy baby," I feel that most people do have a preference. Finding out early gave me time to get excited for whatever it was I was having. After carrying the baby for nine months, I would have hated to have felt even a second of disappointment after s/he was born. I know a few people to whom this had happened, and I just felt so sorry for the baby. (Of course, I was very lucky and got what I wanted both times.)

So I say go ahead and indulge in a few tears, but then go out and buy your precious new baby the cutest little boy or girl outfit you can find for his/her trip home from the hospital. Congratulations.

For my first baby, I didn't know the sex (and I wanted to know, but she did not cooperate during the ultrasound). With my second baby, we knew she would be a girl. I can tell you without a doubt that it was just as special both times when the baby was born and the doctor said, "It's a girl!" Because the thing is, even though I KNEW the second time around that I was having a girl, I still didn't know what she would look like. Would she have any hair? Would she have my eyes or my husband's? How big would she be? What would labor be like? The biggest surprise for us was that our baby was born with dimples on both cheeks. My husband cried, because his father, who had passed away years ago, had dimples on both cheeks (nobody else in the family has them). That's a surprise no doctor can ruin. ;) There are still a LOT of unknown factors even when you know the sex of the baby. You will still have a chance to be surprised by something!

I wish you a speedy delivery and a joyful birth experience!

Don't worry, at my last ultrasound before the baby was born, the doctor swore it was a girl. We were shocked when the delivering nurse announced "It's a boy!" My doctor said, "Oh, did I say it was a girl? Oops?"

It's a very hormonal time, but try to focus on the baby. There are still tons of surprises left to come-what color hair it will have, what random relative it will look like, how it will feel to hold it... YOU ARE ABOUT TO HOLD YOUR CHILD FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Are you sure that he told you? My doctor would always refer to the "baby" as he or she, but that didn't mean that was what we were having. Did he say it just in reference to the baby or "You are having a _____". I would have been very upset just like you if it had happened to me! I kept both of mine a surprise until the birth. Maybe just keep it to yourself(the gender) so it will still be a surprise for everyone else?? It stinks to have waited this long and had to find out before the birth! Hang in there!!!

I am wanting with my next baby not to know the sex. I want to have that big surprise when he/she comes out and have the doctor say what they are. BUT I also have begun to prep myself that accidents happen. It's so irregular for people to not find out the sex, that it's going to happen by a nurse, MA, doctor, ER visit, ect. So count this as a time that you get to start planning for the pink or the blue coming home outfit ;D
P.S. is it a boy or a girl?

I do think this would be a big deal for me. I knew ahead of time that we didn't want to know the sex of our baby. I told my doctor on my first appointment and I asked them to make a BIG note of my request on my folder. I reminded the ultrasound tech BEFORE she touched me that I didn't want to know the sex. when I went into preterm labor at 26 weeks and I was in the hospital, I told the doctor again I didn't want to know the sex. My doctor was wonderful and didn't tell me. I would have been very upset if I was told. You will be OK and you'll have a beautiful baby to hold soon, but I would tell my doctor how displeased I was.

we thought our doc did - we were in the hospital, had been induced, the contraction that broke my water flipped the baby, so it was now breech. And maconium (sp?) was coming out with each contraction. Not fun. I knew I needed a C-section once that happens. The doc comes over with the ultrasound machine so he knows exactly where the baby is. I told him to remember we didn't want to know the sex yet. He said, "Oh, I could have told you that from the internal" (that he had just done)

so of course I thought he felt boy parts... I mean how could he feel girl parts you know? or know if it were girl parts that is wasn't some other part of the baby? I really wanted a girl so bad! So all the way to the operating room I am thinking, "it's ok, a boy isn't bad, you can have cute boy things, and some boys are nice and it's ok..."

When the doctor said, "here she is" I thought he meant a nurse or someone they were waiting on. He had to repeat it and say, "you have a beautiful baby girl" I was shocked and so happy.

So, not sure what the doc said, hope it wasn't really what you thought!!

Well not much you can do about it now. Did you tell him up front that you absolutely did not want to know the gender of your child. If so he made a major error in that department, probably because most parents want to know. If not then it's not his fault that he didn't read your mind. Many want to know and only a few don't these days.

Maybe the Dr lied... Wont you be surprised then!!

I'm sorry. That would be an awful surprise to have ruined. But, like Linda, I'm curious if he proclaimed "it's a ____!," or if he just made mention of "him" or "her." I know at my ob/gyn, the Dr. did not even know the sex unless the mom talked about it. Only the ultrasound tech knew (I think this was to avoid such a situation).
I realize you're extra-hormonal, but try not to let it bring you down. You are about to be blessed with such a miracle! Think about the day you get to meet your baby! :)

S.,
Congratulations on your baby that is coming soon. If you use the affirmation that "my baby and I are connected in love" then this may soften receiving too much information from your doctor. There are many changes going on in your body to get you ready for birth and yes your hormones are changing. I hope you take some time with your friends to relax and reduce stress.
I listened to favorite music during part of third trimester to relax and reduce stress. You are in the final phase of your pregnancy. You can do it!!!

omg, im so sorry. That is so awful. Most people dont wait these days but still that was very goofball of him to slip like that.

My daughters did not want to know. One said I don't open my Christmas presents before the date.
The other one needed comfort for knowing. It would have been easier if Doc knows best had kept his trap shut.