Baby Gifts Expected for Stepsister-In-Law

I don't want to sound rude, but you should take the "high road" in this situation. If you are someone who usually makes awesome baby gifts and gives them to friends and family then make something awesome for this sweet baby. Her parents may not have the best manners in the world, but don't fault the baby for that. Every time the mother puts a cute bow in a little girls hair or wraps her baby boy in a comfy blanket she will think of you and how thoughtful you were to spend time making something special for her baby!

I don't think you're being petty either! It gets old being the "bigger" person all the time. Although I do think you should send some kind of gift, to show you ARE a bigger person, I wouldn't go overly out of my way either. Why does he feel YOU should above and beyond? Tell him to get crafty then lol!!

Sorry you got some harsh responses. It's unfortunate that you can't ask a question, and just get honest FRIENDLY answers wether someone agrees with you or not!

Give from your heart, not based on what they give or do not give you.
I do not keep tabs on who gave what or not. I LOVE giving so I do not expect anything.

If you do not want to make what your husband suggested, then don't. Just let your husband know you would prefer he purchase whatever he wants and give it to her.

I would not want a gift from anyone who just gave it with no feeling behind it.

You don't give gifts because they are expected or because you received them from the person. You give gifts because you want to. And in this case you are not giving your step sister in law anything, you are giving the baby something.

Who cares what she got you or if she got you anything. That is pretty childish.

If you want to give her something than do, if you don't than don't, but don't make excuses for your reasoning.

When it comes to gifts, I usually keep in mind how close I am to that person. Since you do not have a close relationship, I would not spend a lot of time and money on the gift. Since your "thing" is to make handmade items, choose something that would not require a large amount of your time.

I'm sure hubby is very proud of you and your talents.

It could be the start to a closer relationship with her. Some people gave me things that I didn't expect and didn't deserve when I was pregnant. It really made me look at them in a new light. I realized they were reaching out to me and wanted to be a part of the babys life. I definitely got closer to some of the moms in my extended family. It helped knowing they would be there to answer questions, etc. Your love offerings could be a bridge to a new relationship and wouldn't that be great!

huh, i just skimmed a couple of answers and they were a little harsh.

I guess in my opinion, i would be totally on your side in reasoning and emotions But just because i don't like confrontations and making DH sad I would probably do a little hand made stuff just to keep hubby happy. Maybe you could just do half of what you would normally do.

YOu could look at it like this, DH is probably proud of your skills and knows how much people like your stuff. I would actually love to see what you make.

Can you meet somewhere in the middle? Maybe you can do what you feel is appropriate and he can do something else? That is what I suggest for gifting.
I live several states away from my own family. I spent many YEARS being irresponsible, broke and unhappy. I didn't even know that one of my close relatives had HAD a child! Now that I have a family of my own I am reaching out more and more to my family and realizing that THIS is where happiness lies. I am very lucky that they have turned around and embraced me and mine with good humor and understanding.
I guess what I am saying is that the "give" has to start somewhere. Would it cost you much more than time to reach out and wish her and her family happiness?

Yup - Give a caring gift to this baby. A baby is innocent of their parents' bad manners and should receive every blessing possible as they enter this world. The reward to you is the joy of knowing you are a good and caring person who is not swayed by petty "tit-for-tat" shenanigans.

give something from heart don't do it because somebody told you ,i don't care if somebody give something to my kid if i give something is because i really want that person to have it.i personally will give something to the baby if i do craft sfor kids i will make 1 special for the baby.

Be the bigger person and make a nice gesture with a nice store bought present. Don't except anything in return just do it because its the nice thing to do.

You could spend $30 which is still cheap by baby standards.

Let it go..be at peace. I understand why you are hurt. But bitterness begets bitterness love begets love.

You should do what you feel is right. You should not make something for the baby because your husband wants to. The thought counts more than the gift so you are being unfair to an innocent baby if you do not put any thought into it and make a gift - rather not do it if you feel negatively.

Also remember this gift is for the baby and not for the mother.

I would just make her whatever you would normally make. For instance, if one of your neighbors were having a baby (the sort of neighbor where you know their name and wave if you see them out in the yard, but you're not best friends)... what would you make for her? And then make that. I don't think you need to go totally overboard. One of my cousins and his wife had a baby last month - we are not really close and he didn't acknowledge either of my girls' births (but then, he was a bachelor at the time). I bought a cute outfit and sent it. That's what I would do for a co-worker or neighbor, so that's what I did for him. I think it was appropriate. If I had been closer to him, I'd have spent more, maybe done something a little more personalized. Since you do hand-made things already, I think that is pretty special and she will enjoy having those things for her baby, regardless of the size of the gift.

no, you are not being rude. my theory is if she hasn't given anything for your kids then she should not be expecting anything. i would just get her whatever small gift you had planned on getting her and let that be it. i would definitely not waste my time and money working on something for someone who a.) isn't paying me or b.) is not a family member i was close to and spent a lot of time with or was not a close friend.

hope this helps!

I don't think you are being petty. When I'm invited to a shower for someone I barely know, either I don't go or I just bring an outfit! (So like $10.)

I would just give them something small and convenient for YOU!

ooooh, I didn't read what others wrote, but I don't know if I would call you petty. I hate being invited to a baby shower knowing that the ONLY reason I am being asked is because I will provide a gift. I rarely go to those, and if I do...one outfit and some butt-paste.
But seriously, she is family. So, while I agree with you that I would probably just do something sweet and small...I see your husband's point as well. See if there is a way to compromise and make something really adorable that is easy peasy and doesn't take that much time, but LOOKS like it does!
Also, I think it's human nature to feel like, "well, they didn't want to celebrate MY child's birth...why do I want to celebrate theirs?!" I get that...but unfortunately...you can't! grr...
Have fun!

OK, I don't know what the time committment is to making all this stuff, so I can't judge what it is worth to do it or not. You could do it and consider it a gift you are giving to your husband, really, since it is important to him. Is he worth the time?

Frankly, I find it SUPREMELY annoying when I am expected to do all the gift giving/ making/ buying etc, and all he can do is disagree with my choices. For Christmas this all falls on me, even though neither I nor my family is Christian but my DH and his family are. He does not help in any way. I quilt, draw, knit, shop, everything! If he disagrees with anything I do for another person, especially if it is HIS family, I say, "OK, you're welcome to make/ buy what you want for them. But if I am have to do it, this is what I am going to do." He stops pretty quickly there because he doesn't actually care enough to do it himself. I've told him how annoying that is, and I think he gets it. :)

So, either do it or invite him to. Remember in the end, though, that it might become a sticky point more in your marriage than your relationship with SIL. What is that worth to you?

I would not get her anything at all.