Ok so we had a little "scare" last month. We were on no birth control, I was a week late. So I really thought I was preggos with #2. The tests were negative, but still i was hoping against all hopes (and results lol) that i really was pregnant. The day after I took another test, which was negative, I got my period. It was ok if we got pregnant, it was ok if we didnt. But now, Im left with only feelings on how i REALLY wanna get pregnant again lol. I am constantly thinking about it all day, yes I am obsessing over it. Ive talked to my husband and he wants to have the baby next year around this time. I am psyched that he agreed to another lol, but whyyy oh why does it have to be next year (lol, im just being dramatic). If any of you ladies experienced this overwhelming feeling to get pregnant again, how did you make it go away? I spend all my time with my darling baby girl, but still manage to have those thoughts about having another. Help!!
I think most of us on this site have given in to that urge to have another :)
You could always offer up your services to watch a friend's little one and see how two kids "feel." Of course, that could backfire & you could want another one even more.
Your husband probably has good reasons for wanting to wait (those men do tend to be more practical, well, more practical than most women- my husband and I have the reverse relationship!) I would say find something besides your daughter to fill your time. Spending 100% of the time with her just reminds you how much you want another one like her, plus you need something to fill your time when she is napping or otherwise occupied with independant play. Even something simple like reading. I decided earlier this spring (thanks to "the Tudors" on Showtime and reading the Constant Princess) That I wanted to know more about medieval Europe and it's monarchies and political structure (I know, I'm a big nerd). Think of something you've wanted to try or been interested in and do it. Plus, spending time doing other things (than playing with your child) will help adjust your older child to the eventuality of having another sibling who will take up much of your time. And on the same note, focus this energy on making sure she is ready- you don't mention how old she is, but make sure she's self sufficient (to an developmentally appropriate level) and can play independantly so that she isn't used to your 24/7 constant attention, and that she is on a good routine that you will be able to maintain (to a certain degree) when a new baby does come into the picture.
I know the feeling, though. I had been bugging my husband for a while, and then we did end up having an "accident." If you really want to be nasty you could slip up and have sex when you know you're ovulating... but I wouldn't suggest it.
be grateful for the baby that's there....that act in itself could take up every moment!
J.
As a mom of 3 kids, I have spent a LOT of time thinking about getting pregnant and trying to get pregnant. I turn into a crazy person sometimes when I'm thinking about wanting another baby. Much as you described, I can become consumed with thinking about wanting another baby, which really does feel crazy, considering how busy I am with the wonderful 3 that I have. Here is what I wrote to someone else going through what it sounds like you and I are going through:
I believe that it is in part biology (continuing of the species), hormones (which is also part of biology), and a craving for the magic thing that happens (at least in my family) when you introduce this miraculous new baby into your family and to all of the grandparents, etc. I add to it the amazing interaction between my children. They adore each other, and play with each other so beautifully!!! I really don't mean to suggest that it is just instinct that prompts us to want to have another child. It is very hard work, which you certainly know, and we would never want to do it just for the immediate gratification of having those 'newborn' feelings for a little while. It is an amazing thing, having a child, and I want to savor every moment of this intense, exhausting, wonderful, crazy time.
I don't know how to make it go away, but the advice you got about occupying your mind with other constructive interests is really good. I also found that talking to people (both on this site and elsewhere) helped me find an outlet for all that baby energy I was feeling. It also helped a lot that my husband and I decided that if we were going to have #4, we wouldn't start trying until the end of the year. That gave me a structure to work within, and I was able to give myself 'permission' to relax about it for a few more months.
I also want to caution you that at least for me, the second and third pregnancy are very different. Although I have been extremely fortunate not to ever have complications, the level of exhaustion I had chasing after my baby while pregnant was a surprise to me. I was fortunate to be able to have my little ones go to preschool in the mornings as I neared the end of my pregnancy.
Anyway, if you ever need to unload or just vent about what I call 'baby on the brain', feel free to send me a message. Chances are I'm struggling with it too. :O)
