Baby Crying - Concord,CA

Limit yourself to just standing by his crib and rubbing his back for the first few nights. Also, get yourself some really good earplugs.

There are a lot if different approaches to parenting, different approaches for different ages, a ranfge of approaches betwween crying and not crying it out etc. There's also a lot of trial and error, some gut feelings and a lot of just feeling your way and getting to know your child! Folks who firmly tell you one specific way is right or wrong are sharing just their own experience and it may or not apply to your family now or in the future :) for me, until 5 months or so, there was not much crying it out/sleep training going on. After that I became more open to rubbing babys belly or back to soothe rather than the quick and quiet dancing/rocking and nursing to sleep. Frankly, after a few months of that we had to recallibrate our approach as our little one is changing all the time! Best wishes for coziness for you and your family. I suggest listening to folks advice, but know that you will find your own way for your family :)

Z., I am the mother of 5 and can say that I hated to let my little ones cry. I am one that believes that there are crys that need soothing and holding and you will know the differance to the ones that are ok to let im cry it out. I would sit and rock the baby or just hold them and walk the flooors.
Housework, all the dishes ae not going to run away and the cleaning faries are usually friends and family that come to help. So take the time to just read aloud to him while he rests and see if that sooths the little one. I have gotten through many a book be it scriptures, novel or wester or my school books by letting the little ones hear my voice. I think that letting a child just cry endlessly is cruel and creates fear they really do not need. If the child is older than 2 this would be different they can usually wait it out becasue they know mom is near by and can hear you while you do things. You did not have a baby to leave it on its own being a parnet mens making the time to give guidance and comfort. I bet as a new mom your trying to do allthe things that a book or family is telling you is the right thing-- follow your heart as you know your child best.

Well I have to ask how old is he? If he is under 6 months then he is too young to do the cry it out method. If he is older then yes you can let him cry for a while to see if he will stop. But you don't have to if you don't want to. With my second baby I nursed her every 2 to 3 hours all night for 13 months! I just felt like she wanted to nurse so I let her. Then when I weaned her she cried for only about 30 seconds when I put her down and then she woke up around 12:00 and cried for maybe a minute. So it really wasn't a bad transition at all. She did great and I think it was partly because I gave her what she needed as an infant. I do believe it is very important to help teach your baby how to fall asleep on their own. It is a learned behavior and I feel that when they learn this they do sleep better as toddlers and on. But again if you baby is still young and you are not ready then there is no rush.

My first daughter did cry for a minute or two sometimes before going to sleep. It was funny as she'd seem really worked up, I'd stand at the door for a minute or two and sometimes she'd just immediately stop and go to sleep. I always thoguht it was weird but it sounds like other babies do this sometimes too. That being said as long as your giving him a little time to settle down and he's still sreaming then I have no doubt that you should not MAKE yourself let him cry to sleep. I believe the most important skill I have as a mother is my instinct or intuition. I almost always do what I feel in my heart is right when parenting. I have never regretted it. When I think too much, listen to other people and ignore that little voice inside of me I make a decision that doesn't work for our family. Listen to your heart, there is no one right path to raising a child well, only choices that may or may not work for you. Develop your sense of intuition, it works for babies, toddlers, kids and tweens and I'm hoping for teenagers as well! :)

It depends on how long he is crying. You say you immediately pick him up. I have taken care of a little girl since she was five months old, and found out quickly that she seems to need to cry for five to ten minutes prior to going to sleep. I've learned to tell the difference between her crying because she's distressed and the fussy getting to sleep crying. You may have to try it out a little to discover how much crying you should allow him to do before he goes to sleep. As long as you are sure you've taken care of his physical needs this should be ok to do. I know it isn't easy to listen to a child cry, but there are times when you need to for the child's best benefit. If the crying escalates or goes on for more than ten minutes, I would pick him up for sure.

Hi there,

Follow your instincts! If you don't want to listen to your baby cry, don't. There are other options. We tried the cry-it-out method with my daughter when she was 1 year old, out of desperation. And I really regret it. Everyone said it was okay, they need to soothe themselves, etc. But after I just couldn't take it anymore we started bringing our little one to our bed when she work in the middle of the night. Gradually, she started sleeping longer and longer in her own bed. She's been sleeping all night in her bed since she was about 2 1/2 years old. That might seem like a long time, but the time just flew by. And I'm glad we got to snuggle in bed all those nights.

There are other, more gentle methods of getting your child to sleep alone, too. Try visiting Elizabeth Pantley's website, author of The No Cry Sleep Solution: www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php

To get our daughter to fall asleep in her own bed, we transitioned her into a small mattress on the floor that I could lie on with her. It's worked really well, both for night time and for naps.

I know crying it out works for some families, but it is the biggest regret I have about parenting in our almost three years, so far. I wish I'd followed my heart instead of the advice of others.

Anyway, good luck and I hope your entire family is sleeping well soon!

H.

don't! your instincts are best for your baby. I think it's worth mentioning that I read an article that indicated repeated stress (crying) caused brain changes in infants. Your baby will learn to self soothe when he is older... you are his mommy, and you get to decide (with coparent, of course) what you will do!!!

I know how you feel. But it's okay. When I did this, my daughter cried and I wanted to go in there and pick her up so bad but I waited for as long as I could and just like that after only 8 minutes, she was asleep all by herself and the next night she only cried for 4 minutes and she never cried after that. See how long you can hold out for and see what happens. Many times the baby will not even cry for very long. The baby can fall asleep by himself. He just doesn't know that he can, he just thinks he needs you in order to fall asleep. But babies learn very quickly, and given the chance, they will figure out how to go to sleep on their own. Good luck

I agree with Betty.
There's a difference between a cranky baby fuss and full-on upset crying.

I, personally, don't think it harms a baby to cry and fuss a little bit.
And even when my kids got a little older, if they were cranky, they'd always cry right before going to sleep....like that last little bit of fight in them before konking out.

None of us ever like it when our babies cry, but sometimes they fuss just to be making noise when you know they're not hungry, not wet....
I don't think people should race to pick up their baby everytime they cry. We have to go to the bathroom, we have to get our hands dried off before picking them up, sometimes we need to gather the burp rag and the pillow so we can get comfy and hold them and feed them, etc.
A few minutes of fussing won't hurt anything.

That's just my opinion.
Best wishes!

You didn't say how old your son is. If you are going to let him cry it out then you have to just let him cry. Do not under any circumstances pick him up because it will only reinforce that crying will get him picked up. With that said if he is really young it may not be the right time to let him cry it out. There are other methods too. With my little one if I'm have trouble getting her down I'll lay her in her crib and rub her back and shush her but I don't pick her back up. But at 10 mos old we still rock her to sleep which works just fine most nights its just that odd night that is doesn't. Side note she's been STTN since she was 8 weeks old.

There are lots of books out there to help you teach your baby to sleep w/o crying. CIO is not for everyone and don't feel pressured to do so. Find a method that works for you and stick to it.

Who says you should let him cry? If he's a few years old, okay...maybe you are in some bad night time habits together and need to work on this. But if he is a baby YOU PICK HIM UP AND SOOTHE HIM. You do what your heart tells you to do, what your mama instinct tells you to do--go to him and comfort him, letting him know you are here, you hear his cries, and you love him enough to comfort him. It breaks your heart for a reason, because you are a mother and you love your sweet baby son.

I suggest you read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weisbluth.
It give you a good break-down by age of how much sleep your baby needs and various ways to deal with sleep issues. I wish I read it before my baby was born!
You need to listen to the cry and decide if it's a "I'm crying because I am not getting what I want" cry or "I'm hungry!" or " something is really wrong". I figured out with my 1st born that he was waking up all night to nurse because he was just used to it and kinda lazy to eat enough to last him very long - he's still a snacker. I let him cry it out and realized the first night I got up the nerve to let him cry was that he wasn't scared or hungry - just mad that I wasn't doing what he expected. After 3 nights he slept on his own with no crying - lazy boy realized it was taking a lot of energy to cry and he wasn't getting anywhere with it so he stopped. ;)