Baby Being a Stinker

Hi E.,
I don't know much about the hospital stay for your son. My son had a pretty traumatic hospital stay last year when he was 14 months. When we brought him home he was very clingy to me. It was kind of slow process to bring him back to where he was before. I would give your son a healthy snack before bed so that he goes to sleep full. Hopefully that will help with the middle of the night feeding. I would start making smaller bottles if he does wake up so that eventually you can cut it out. The seperation anxiety will probably get better over time. What I did was I would leave him with my husband to play with for very short amounts of time (I would switch the laundry, go to the restroom, ect). He would cry but because it was such a short amount of time he leaned quickly that when I said, "Mommy will be right back" I meant it. I would slowly extend the time and now at 27 months he gives me hugs and kisses when I leave and off he goes to play. Be patient and it will get better.
Chris

Recently had the same exact situation occur with my 16 month old after we came back from a long weekend upnorth. Just now , we are back to normal and yes, it did take 3 weeks to get it all back on schedule for her. When upnorth I was lying next to her b\c of unfamiliar territory. She didn't know where she was. She of course loved that mommy was right there ny her side. Came home, and I had to basically start all over again from the begining. I always left her room before she was asleep and she was a great sleeper(still is). What I HAD to do was.....for the first week or so stand by her bed side and them creep out of the room. At times I was leaving when she was asleep so I was conscious to not make a new habit out of that but thought a few times, I repeat only a FEW times wouldn't hurt. Don't make a habit out of that. Then for a few days I would stand in the door way but to where she could see me.Then a few days after that, I was in the doorway even further and so on and so on. It took 3 weeks and now I lay her in bed awake, stand in the doorway for about 2-3 minutes and "see ya later", I'm out the door like I used to it before this long weekend and I remember writing this on Mamsource and all the responses I recieved was that their schedule is off and it will take a while to get back on track. Basically it's normal. So I hope I helped a little with an option on what you cando. Hey, it worked for me like a charm it's just you have to be patient. Good Luck and I hope no more hospital stays for your little one!!!

It sounds like your son was more traumatized by the hospital stay than you thought. I'm sure this will pass in time. He can only understand so much at this age and can't verbalize how he feels so you will have to help him through this time. I doubt it will last too long, though it may seem long to you. Sometimes they regress when there's a trauma and then have to grow out of it slowly. He's not doing this on purpose. Being outdoors may help because it will change his environment in a positive way and you'll still be with him. Even sharing you with the day care kids is probably hard on him right now. I'd say, just do what you need to do in a very reassuring but cheery way so he can believe this bad stuff is behind him and there are happier days for him now. Sometimes fear of abandonment or fear of medical procedures (I don't know why he was in the hospital) can be pretty earth-shaking for little kids. Hang in there, Mom! This too shall pass. I don't think you can hurry the process much. G. B.

The exaggerated seperation anxiety sounds normal to me considering the recent hospital stay. Hospitals are tremendously scary for kids. He may be waking up more out of nightmares than hunger. I would say make sure he eats or has a snack right before bed to take care of any possible hunger issue, and then when he wakes up in the middle of the night, just go in and tell him it's okay, you're here and he's safe, etc. and you'll see him (and cuddle him) in the morning when everyone is awake. Go in a bunch of times to reassure him and re-tuck him in if you have to, but if hunger isn't an issue, then just getting him to relax and feel safe and comfortable is. Don't let him get out of bed though for any reason or the whole thing will backfire. Even if you have to change his diaper - do it in his bed and with the absolutely faintest light possible so as not to encourage him to wake up any more than he already is. I wish there was a quicker fix. Just keep in mind that the hospital was traumatic for him -emotionally and physically taxing - and he may just need some time to heal from the experience, but he will get back to normal. Sometimes envisioning the light at the end of the tunnel makes it easier to get there. :)

We have this happen at our house too. DS is 14 months.. he's fine during the day, but night if I leave him he screams and will scream for my husband and not stop (he'll hold him and rock him or try to feed him a bottle of breastmilk and nothing will work!)... I figure it's temporary what's even 2 years of lack of sleep and attachment.. I imagine soon i'll wish that he was little again and would cuddle. : )

Separation anxiety peaks between 15 months and 20 months. Your baby doesn't understand when you are out of sight, that you still exist. He is terrified that you have vanished from the face of the earth. This is real terror to him. A hospital stay just increases anxiety.

Give him formula in a bottle in the day and at feedings, even at 4 am, but let him keep water in the bottle at night so he can comfort himself without wrecking his teeth. Yes, hospitalizations often cause behavioral regression. They are stressful for the child. You will have to accept this and get over it.

Games of peekaboo and "where's the button" (hiding an object, saying "where is the_____" then revealing it, will help your baby learn object permanence.... that things exist when he can't see them. And he will learn that you have not vanished. Another thing that helped us with my son was to play a cassette of me reading a story to him as he was going down for sleep. He would hear my voice, and it helped to calm him. Good luck, L.