Baby After a Vesectomy

S.,

When our daughter was just over a year old, my husband had a vescetomy. I have had many urges in our married life since then to have a baby. Infact once I honestly thought I WAS pregnant. But of course I was not. My daughter is now 35 yrs old and yep, I would still love to have a baby. But since this was a discission we made together as a couple, I never once asked him to reverse what had been done. Do I regret that? Not one bit, for now we have the love of our grandchildren. And I am thankful I was blessed with a husband that would go through what he went through for me..

I soooo know the feeling you have right now. The urge to have another child. My husband and I are trying. I, however, came to the conclusion that if it happens, it happens, if it doesnt, then, so be it. The reason why I say this is to validate your feelings of wanting another baby.
Having said that...
I have to take your husbands side. (if there are sides) You made the decision. I think that asking him to have another baby would be unfair to HIM. It is also like another has already stated...if you push for it, and he does it just to appease you...you might end up in a resentful relationship. Even if you dont have another baby, perhaps asking for one will injure his feelings. I think it would bring a dark cloud over your relationship. You certainly dont want to live the rest of your life with a man who thinks that he disappointed his wife by not giving her another child.
Just my opinion, for what its worth.
Margaret

You know what? Marriage is a bunch of compromises and I don't think it is fair that everyone here is saying just leave it alone.

If your husband really loves you and knows that another baby will fill a desire in your heart..why wouldn't he consider trying a reversal. I am not saying go into debt and let having another baby be all consuming.

But if he is willing to have a reversal and try for a baby (the odds are not all that great after a reversal anyways). Then you will know you did all you both could do to have another one. Even agree that if it doesn't happen in _____ amount of time then stop trying and move on.

But talk it over with him and see how he feels...let him think about it...don't force him or nag him until he gives in because that defeats the point.

Good luck...sending you a {{{{hug}}}}

Oh, and two outpatient surgeries can never equal gestation and childbirth...so, that shouldn't be an excuse...;-)

I think maybe you should think about adopting or foster care, there are so many children out there that their parents were unable or didnt wat to care for. Sorry to say theres really an endless supply of children that sit in the system waiting to be adopted. Since your husband says he doesnt want to go through the surgery and he doesnt want you to go through child birth again since it was so hard for you try and adopt a baby. You could also adopt one thats older. The older children usually get over looked because their not babys but most of them are really great kids.

I wish you well and wish you the best of luck with any way you chose to go.

First and formost, since you are a Christian, you know where to take it. It doesn't have anything to do with how you and your husband feel about each other, it's about what is best for your family spiritually. I am 37 and have been married for 17yrs. We have twin boys that are 11 and a daughter that is 7 and I am having baby fever like crazy. I had a full tubligation at the same time I gave birth to my daughter. I have thought about a reversal many times, but I also think about is best for my family spiritually. Just think about it and pray about it and I guarantee you will get the answer you have been long seeking. What do I do to feed my craving for another? Keep other peoples babies. But that's what works for me.

I think if your husband feels strongly enough about not wanting more children that he was willing to have surgery to prevent it, that maybe you should consider just being happy with the two kids God blessed you with. I am having the same feelings as you and my child isn't even here yet, but my husband is already adamant that this be our only child. Ultimately, I will abide by his wishes because I've seen how having a child that one parent very strongly does not want can ruin a marriage. My Aunt basically hounded her husband (who very clearly said he did not want another child) day in and day out until he finally just caved and gave her what she wanted. They are still married but it literally ruined their relationship, he started drinking heavily and still, 12 years later is a drunk and their marriage is nothing but hostility and resentment.

I'm not saying that will happen to you, I'm just sharing a story that shows the resentment that can develop if your force your husband into a child he doesn't want.