Baby #3 - Blue Point,NY

I've been there, paniced, threw up (okay maybe it was the morning sickness), and then began to focus on one day at a time. It's frightening, but #2 and #3 are very close (17 mths apart). When they were younger they did everything together, almost like twins (only we got to do the sleepless nights one at a time). There are as many advantages as disadavtages, just focus on the good.

No sense in fretting now. What's done is done. Soon enough you'll have an answer for sure...one way or the other.

My hubby and I were NOT planning a baby #3, but got one by surprise anyway. Granted, my kids are not close in age by any means (8.5 yrs, 3.5 yrs, and 4 mos); but a close friend of mine has 3 little boys (at one point, she had 3 under 3! (3 yrs, 2 yrs, and 6 mos)). She never worried about robbing any of them of their "baby-hood". I think the way she looked at it was...almost easier on her. She was already in the swing of diapers, midnight feedings, baby food and bottles, etc. And her 2 oldest, being so close in age, are almost like twins (Irish twins ;) ) and they are best friends and perfect playmates.

Hi, everything will be alright! Let me send you many words of encouragement - if this happened, then it was meant to happen. You're shocked and it was unexpected but you will get comfortable with all of this and it will be great! This little person that hasn't been born yet is just someone who was missing from your family and couldn't wait to get here. You and your husband will support each other through this. No, it won't be easy to have so many young ones but being 18 months apart is really not that close in age - but, close enough for them to be great buddies! And your 3 y/o will be 4 which is when they get very easy - I truly mean this. The fact that she's a girl will be tremendously helpful because I may sound sexist but the girls usually do like to help out with the baby. It will be great and they will all be close in age and as they grow up they will be in school together which you will find is a lot of fun for them. Don't do anything to change the course that has been chosen for you and your family. Everything will be alright!

Hi Mama-

I wanted to tell you that I am totally there with you. The feelings you are feeling are completely natural. I was there, about 3 months ago. In addition, it seems that I was suffering a mild case of post-partum depression (if there is such a thing as "mild" depression).

Ultimately, my husband and I decided to follow through with the pregnancy, but that did not stop us from considering all options. I was scared, for me, for my husband, for the baby, for the impacts on our family... I worried about "jipping" my little man. I felt like he needed so much more attention than I'd be able to give with another infant around. I was overwhelmed and cried so much. I needed help and support. My husband encouraged me to talk to someone professionally educated in what was going on. I am so happy to say that I have moved pass the fear through a stage of indifference and I am now looking forward to the birth of our "Bonus baby". I love that term and I love this baby and can not wait to find out what we are having. We will be celebrating 20 weeks next Friday with our anatomy scan.

If you need me, feel free to message me!

Best of luck!
~C.

Totally understanding the panic! However, your current "baby" might just have a great bonding experience with such a close sibling. And you two are DONE with babies that much sooner. Accept the blessing, I say!

Good luck to you

I am a mom of three and my third child was a surprise. Though my concern at the time was not the age of the children, it was poverty. At that time we were living way below the poverty level and we were terrified. Here's the thing. Even though the circumstances are not ideal, you know how to do this. You are already doing it now. You've got this, I promise. Remember how long nine months really is? You have time. Your other baby has time too! Lots of moms I know had children real close together and though they had some hectic early years, their children are really close, relationship wise. As long as you give your six month old all the babying he needs, the two of you can make room for baby number 3 and now one has to gt left out because you and your husband can share the load. Anyhow, I wish you and your family all the best!

You'll do great! A baby is a baby - and you two are pros by now.

Your not robbing your little one of anything but providing her with a playmate for life. Believe me it may look bleak now but down the road you'll be happy you had the third so close and got the work over with early so you could enjoy your three children.

Have you ever heard the old adage "men plan, God laughs"? Well, it just about sums it up. The plan that we make is never the one that ends up happening. I have two girls that are 20 months apart, it happened quicker than we planned. The older is now three and the younger is 15 months. It is hard but awesome. The older one really loves the younger one. I am so glad they will be so close in age. We felt the same way about "robbing" the baby of babyhood, but they truly get a great experience if you can focus on spending time with them. The baby doesn't care who holds it- it doesn't know, but the older one does. Make some special time for the older one and they will never know life without their younger sibling, it will be a blessing in the end.

I laugh every time I tell the following story - and so should you!

17 years ago, my husband and I had the million dollar family - one boy and one girl. We had such trouble getting pregnant with both. We used condoms as our birth control method.

One weekend, we were off by ourselves for a weekend in Burlington, VT. On the way, we decided to stop where we were, and enjoy our family of 4. We realized we had forgotton the birth control, so I checked the dates about 10 times on our way up, and about 10 times on our way back. I was sure that the rhythm method would be fine.

Since we had decided to keep the status quo, I went to the obgyn to discuss which method would be OK for a 36 year old. Went to the pharmacy, filled my perscription for the pill, and waited for my next period. You KNOW what happened - it didn't come!!!

My son is 16, and I cannot imagine life without him rounding out the family. The older two are in college, so he's the "only child" for now, and loving it.

We always seem to find love, time, and money for our families, no matter what the situation! And so will you! I hope you are well encouraged, no matter what the outcome of your appointment. Enjoy your family!

I was in the same boat when I found out that I was pregnant again. My daughter is almost 10 months old and I am due in January. It really is a hard pill to swallow. I have asked some moms on here how to help prepare my little and they gave some good advise. The one thing that someone said is that my daughter will never remember a time without her brother. It will be hard in the beginning, but with your son being so little he should adjust. I don't think you are robbing him of being a baby. He will have someone a little more his size to play with.

Just keep your head up and stay positive about it! That's what I've been doing!!

Good luck!

You have gotten a lot of feedback, but I just wanted to tell you I am there with you too. My daughter is 2 (turns 3 in Feb), my son just turned 1 and we are expecting our little surprise of #3 this December.

I don't know that I have much advice other than to say that being thankful, choosing to have a positive attitude, knowing limits and knowing that this is a short season in life has really helped me deal with it.

I am hopeful that the kids will be thankful to have each other and it will teach them valuable lessons of family life, being patient and getting along with others.

I am sure there will be lots of ups and downs, but someday I believe we'll look back and feel like it went too fast.

Congratulations & best of luck to you all!

I never thought I'd be responding to a post like this, but here I am! We do not have 3 nor have we had a "surprise" but your post touched my heart. I am a control freak...I admit it. I plan things A, B, C, and so on for EVERYTHING. Life has taught me over the past few years (with a Dh in the Army, unexpected moves, unexpected losses and deaths of family members, a baby born, a health scare or 2...) that like a PP said, we make plans and God laughs. The funny thing is...while God is laughing, he's giving us gifts that we can look back on and realize that what we get may be better than what we would have planned! (Kind of like little kids wanting ice cream for breakfast every morning...but someone else guiding them and telling them what is better for them even when they might not like the lesson!)
I have spent the last 9 months of my son's life trying to convince myself that we are done with 2 kids. That was the plan. That is more convenient. I could go on and on. I finally realized, just this morning (just before I read your post) that another child would be a true blessing and wish we could TTC sooner. Dh is being deployed for a year and I just hope that I can still get pregnant and have a healthy baby when he returns (we're getting older). I, too, thought about "stealing" the babyhood from DS if we got pregnant before he left, but in the end, a sibling is a greater gift than a few months to a year of undivided attention...and it's not like when the new baby arrives, your LO will be expected to suddenly walk, talk, and do algebra!LOL You'll have 2 babies. It will be tough, but wonderful and you can do it!
I almost wish I didn't have to make the decision of yes/no/when? Consider yourself lucky in a way that decision is now out of your hands!
Hugs!

Everything happens for a reason.

You are me last year! I had a 3 year old girl, 6 month old girl and found out #3 was coming. Not planned at all. You aren't robbing the youngest of being a baby, he will adjust and somehow you will learn to carry 2 in your arms! I give each of mine their own special time during the day- well, they each get book time and cuddles with just mommy. My daughter loves her baby sister! There was a LITTLE jealousy in the beginning, but not much to be honest! Sometimes we have issues if the baby comes and sits in my lap, then the middle might get jealous, but we work it out. But I felt everything you are feeling, believe me. Congrats on your little "surprise"!

well id like to say i have a 5 month old boy a 3 yr old girl and a 6 yr old boy and i am so glad i had my number 3 my 3 yr old daughter absolutely adores her baby brother and so does my 6 year old! You wouldn't be robbing your youngest out of being a baby! every kid has to grow up sometime I think your little ones would love having a baby around the house I know its not the easiest thing to have 3 kids but it's a blessing! Congratulations if you are preggo! and wish you luck!

Hi C.
Thought you might just enjoy my story. My first trip to the store after the twins were born, I ran into a woman with 3 little ones in her cart. They were so cute. Didn't look like they would be triplets but certainly not a year apart. I finally asked how old they were. She told me the twins were 3 months old, and her older child was 11 months old. Then she says "the twins were born at 7 months, and this is my first trip out with them" I was so thrilled that day that my twins came home from the hospital with me and were about 6 wks old.
God gives us strength to do what He's called us to do, and obviously He has called you to be the best mom. God bless you with His patience.

Congratulations. As someone who has four all spaced a year apart, I say
it is wonderful! The two youngest will be very close. The surprise babies
tend to be the ones the provide us with much love and laughter because
you are so good at babies, you just tend to enjoy the little one in ways you
did not the others. It will all work out. Good luck.

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