Baby #2 Due in July; DD Will Be 31 Months: How Soon to Tell Her?

Unless you have issues with miscarriage I would tell her as early as possible. Making it sound more like an every-day event will be easier for her to handle than this huge secretive suprise. Start talking to her about being a big sister, how she can help, how you won't have as much alone time, but that she'll get to do things with you and her new sibbling. The more you talk about how she will be included and how great it is to have a baby around, the less issue you will have with jealousy.

We just had our second baby and our daughter is 28 months. She kind of told us I was pregnant. A week befor I took the test she pointed to my belly and said "baby". We talked about the baby throughout the entire pregnancy. If you are telling other people shr will pick up on it soon. We just explained to her that the baby has to get bigger and that the baby will be growing in mommy's belly for awhile. You can tell her that they baby will be born when summer comes. Our daughter went to almost all of the prenatal visits and the ultrasound. She was always excited to hear the baby's heart beat. I think it helped to make her part of it from the beginning. I also showed her pictures of what the baby looked like at each stage.

Time doesn't pass the same for a child. To a little girl nine months is a long time. You should wait until you start to show before you tell her. Three months is plenty of time to prepare her. Plus God forbid if something happens in the early stages of pregnancy you would have to go back and explain to her why the baby isn't coming. When I was little my mother told me three times she was pregnant but then lost the babies. I was very confused and by the third time I thought my mom was a lier and playing some sick joke on me. My intentions are not to scare you or anything I am sure everything is going to be ok but it is a real scenario you need to consider.

Happiest Toddler on the Block, the follow up book to Happiest Baby on the Block, says that you should wait till it's closer to the due date, saying kids don't understand the length of time it takes to make a baby and they become bored with the topic after a few months... I highly recommend this book for the info it gives on how to prevent jealously from the older sibling when the new one arrives. I told my oldest about being pregnant early, but only a little bit. As I got bigger and we were getting more prepared I started reading her books about new babies and being a big sister. She transitioned wonderfully. I was so worried she would be jealous, but the info from the book was very helpful.

We're expecting child #2 about 6 days after our son turns 2, and we've told him already. We thought he'd pick up on different cues about changes, and we didn't want him to hear it from someone else. While we really haven't had too many conversations about it since the baby's arrival is ages away in toddler time, we have discussed it on occasion, and we'll be discussing it more after the holidays.

My step-MIL gave us the book "Waiting for Baby". Its purely a book of pictures about what will happen during the pregnancy from a young one's perspective (going shopping, decorating the nursery, helping daddy fix dinner so mommy can relax, going to stay with grandparents while mommy and daddy go to the hospital, etc.). We really like the book because you can "read" the book to your situation. For example, my son gets really excited about the parts showing the boy going to the hospital with flowers for his mom; unfortunately the hospital I'm delivering at will not allow anyone under the age of 14 to visit due to H1N1-related concerns, so instead of promising a trip to see me in the hospital, we just talk about how he can bring me flowers and meet his new baby.

I just delivered #2 in September and my oldest daughter was 32 months. My OB told me to wait until I made it through the first trimester. After that point we started talking about babies more and told her around the 14 week mark. It took a while to sink in, but she did fine with the length of time it took the "baby to grow." We borrowed different books from the library about younger siblings/having a baby and then bought our favorites. I delivered at St. Vincent's in Indy and they actually had a sibling preperation course for 2-3 year olds. I took my daughter to it about 2 months before my due date. It was very helpful in preparing her for the baby and gave us practical info and good words to use in prepping our oldest to become a big sister. Best Wishes!

I am in the same boat. My daughter will be 3 by the time I have baby #2 (I am due late May). I told her around 12/13 weeks. But I didn't have a big talk with her, we just talk about how it would be nice to have a baby, and that there is a baby in my tummy. I will ease into it as I get larger!

I say tell her right away! It will take a little bit for it to sink in anyway. As your stomach grows, she will understand alittle bit more. Make her feel involved. I don't see any reason to not tell her, believe me, the more prepared they are the better. Plus, how would you feel if someone told you that you were having a baby 3 months before it arrived. You would feel overwhelmed! Good Luck and Congrats!!

our oldest was 30 months old when we found out I was pregnant. We simply said that mommy was going to have another baby...do you want a baby? he always said yes. He even started kissing and hugging my belly good night.;) it was very cute...to have a smoother transition I we bought a toy from the baby to his big brother as a thank you gift for being a good big brother...we(Jonathan the baby) gave his brother the gift when daddy brought big brother to the hospital for the first visit... we had a bigger toy for when he came home to give his big brother...in a child's eyes anyone is worth getting to know if they give you gifts lol

Everytime I was pregnant, we mentioned it to our kids as soon as we told everyone else. That way they know what's going on when they hear others talk about it. However, we didn't dwell on it and talk about it hardly at all in front of the kids until much later... like when I was really showing. We would start to really talk up the baby and read books and stuff like that with the toddler/preschooler around 7-8 months pregnant. A few months is plenty of time to prepare... keep in mind that for a 2-3 year old, 3 months is an eternity. You don't want her getting 'worn out' on the idea of a baby from hearing about it constantly for 6 months (I know kids who have done this becuase the parent's obsessed over discussing it and reading about it for months on end).

The most important thing is to figure out a one-on-one time with your daughter sometime in the next few months. Go for ice cream on Sat afternoons or read a special book at 2:45 on Tues or whatever. Then, make sure to continue that tradition after baby is born... yes, leave the newborn with daddy or a friend for 30 minutes and go do it. And continue to do it. Having a dependable one-on-one time will make a world of difference in her behavior after baby arrives.

Hi L.,

We have a daughter who was 2 at the end of August and I'm due with twins July 1st. We told our daughter already. Part of the reason was, I have been EXTREMELY sick. The other reason was my daughter is very active and often likes to 'bounce' on my belly when we're playing on the floor or something. So, we thought it best to tell her so she knows to be gentle with mama. It's also been nice because after being sick in the bathroom, she'll often come up and give me a hug and kiss to comfort me. :-)

The thing is, kids pick things up. Try as we might to not discuss certain topics in front our kids, we slip. They pick it up and can feel left out. I talk to her about how the babies are VERY small right now and have to grow big before they will come out. She loves me to read the 'I'm a Big Sister' book and talks about how she will hug and kiss the babies.

We don't talk about it every day, but a few times a week. I think it's important to have her involved throughout the whole process. Regardless, no matter how hard we try to prepare her ... it IS going to be a HUGE change. No longer are Mama and Papa going to be able to give her our sole attention. She's going to have to share, and that is difficult. I just feel earlier is better. She has longer to prepare, she knows what is happening to Mama and doesn't have to be afraid, and is involved.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

We found out I was prego when our first daughter was 25 months. We slowly stared telling that she couldn't jump on my belly. Then at the first appt for the heart beat she was there listening. Every appt after if my husband could go, so did our daughter. We even had her there for the first U/S to find out if she was having sis or bro. After delivering our second daughter big sis came and met her stayed with her Grammy the first night. The second night she stayed in the hospital room with us. She has done very well at becoming a big sis and very protective of her (strangers not allowed close to baby sis).
I hope this helps a little.

We told our children about the same time we started telling the "general public". At that point, they are going to hear you and your friends/family talking about the baby, etc.

You could wait until you start showing, and maybe she will ask a question that might get the conversation going.