Baby #2 Almost Here, Any Advice?

I am going through this with my 3 year old. I just had a baby in February. Me and my husband have tried very hard to spend the extra time with him so he doesn't feel any adversity towards his new sister. It is very hard, but he seems to be adjusting really well. We made it a really big deal that he is now a big brother. He takes a lot of pride in being a good big brother. Also, my husband tries to spend time with him while I am feeding the baby and makes a big deal of it being their own "special" time without Mommy. This has had mixed results since he is very attached to me, but I think it has helped. I also involve him as much as possible. He gets the diaper and diaper lotion for me when I change her diaper and also, he helps me with her bath. He basically hands me the soap and knows that he can't touch her. He really enjoys this and gets a little miffed when I try to do it without him which can be frustrating, but we try to accomodate him. We also have come to realize that he is just going to have to get used to the idea that there are now 2 children and he isn't going to get as much attention. We discuss this with him and let him know that we need him to step up and be a big boy. He seems good with it. Sometimes I think we make more out of it than we need to. I really feel bad for my daughter because I really notice how much less time I spend with her. I guess that is OK since she will never know any difference.

i thought i was completely finished having kids, just before my son turned 5 i found out OH NOPE I"M NOT!!..lol. i had my daughter in oct. and throughtout my pregnancy i would get books like "authers' new baby" and read them to my son. after the baby got home i would ask if he wanted to help with his sister (getting a diapers or wipes, small things) and never made him help. after hewould get me an item i asked for i would give him ALOT of praise and tell him he's the best big brother ever. now when people inquire about my daughter in public, my son jumps in and tells them that's his baby sister, her name is lilly, and he's her best big brother..anytime we are joking around and she is sleeping my son tells us to quiet down so we don't wake her...he's really taken with her. good luck with everything, i hope it's a smooth transition for you all.

J. I just had my son 6 weeks ago and my daughter is just 14 mos old-they are 12 months and 26 days a part. I juggle between the 2 but find I can lavish a lot of attention on my daughter still because the newborn does not know any better right now each child has different needs right now. Introduce the new baby to your child and let her touch the baby with supervision of course. My daughter ignores her brother totally when at the sitter and when I breastfeed him she sits next to me a lot of the time but is pretty good about the attention i give her brother. She was upset the first week but has since come around nicely good luck it is better than you think it is going to be.

My biggest advice is to not be too stressed out about it! I have two daughters who are about 25 months apart. I was a nervous wreck about turning the older one's world upside down, but she handled it amazingly well. I got into the habit of reading her a book while nursing the baby so she didn't feel left out. They are now 4 and almost 2 and they play really well together. My hope for you is that it will be much easier than you expect.

Good luck!

Get her a baby she can be mommy to. She may or may not "get it: but when you hold your newborn, she can holf hers, too.
E.

I would say that you almost have to give more attention to your 21mo old for awhile. Make them as involved as possible. My son was 4 and he was really jealous once we got home and he realized the baby wasn't leaving... He used to throw tantrums and be very needy when before he was always so independent.. he used to pinch me alot to. This when on for a little over 2 weeks and then he has adjusted well since. By giving her alot of attention when possible she will begin to realize that this is a good thing.

My kids are 21 months apart too. My daughter isn't jealous, exactly. She wants to help...too much. The problem we had with her is trying to get her to stop trying to pick her brother up. It hasn't worked yet, lol. So, we pretty much have to keep them separate. I don't really like that, but I'd rather do that than have him tossed on his head (again). Each child has a different personality, so you really just have to go with it, whatever happens.

God bless,
A.

Set up a little bit of a routine. For instance, give her some individual attention time every morning reading books. Also make feeding time for the baby a time when she is not neglected. This could be book time or a time where you give her something special to play with that she doesn't normally have. Keep some of her toys packed away so there is a newness and and interest in them. When you are busy giving the new one care, she won't notice that you aren't giving her your total attention as she is probably used to. At this age predictable routine gives them security, so maintain her nap time, etc. Best wishes! It will be hard some days, but you'll get through.

I was in a similar boat, but my daughter was just shy of 2 when her little sister arrived. I found for her, the best way to keep her happy was to include in activities with the baby. She always wants to help, so when daddy goes to get a diaper, then she can bring it to mommy and baby. Sometimes she crawls up on the couch with me when I am giving the baby a bottle (I did some pumping) and she would help me hold it and feed the baby. She was thrilled to cover her with a blanket. I thought it helped to make her feel like the big sister and "mommy's little helper".

Best wishes and good luck!!

HI J..

I had my second child when our first just turned 3. The good news for you is that our pediatrician said 2 and 4 are great ages to add a baby - 3 is hard. That aside, I can tell you that our daughter has been fabulous with the baby since the beginning. She only had a hard time understanding that I couldn't spring into action for her every want immediately - that she would have to wait until I finished feeding/diapering/etc for the baby and then I would do what she asked. Now at night, she tells me when she wants to be held and I have to make special time for her even when I am tired, etc. It is very little to ask given how great that she has been. I would say start practicing patience and teaching your older child to 'wait' for things and get that habit going. Otherwise, I think it is a bigger adjustment for you then it will be for your child ;) Wishing you the best, Nicci