Baby #2? - Amarillo,TX

I just recently went through this with my husband exactly down to the age of the child and everything, well, mine is 2 already. Anyway, I realized that I can't force another child on him. If and when he's ready for another then thats when it will happen. Hope this helps, I know it sucks, but maybe he'll change his mind.

My husband didn't really want #2 either but knew I did (even though i didn't plan an age) so we talked about it and eventually had another. With that we had a boy and girl....he was done. Well God wasn't and we have 3 great kids.
Talk to him...maybe he is just not ready right now. Why 3 years apart? You can wait. My kids are 10, 6, and 4. The youngest 2 share a birthday so they are exactly 2 years apart... sometimes it is not easy. It was however easier with them being almost 5 years apart! I'm not saying you have to wait but talk to him and find out what is going on... if he is not saying NO MORE...which is sadly where my husband is... you can come to a compromise. Maybe he just wants to enjoy your daughter for abit longer before having to divide his attention between 2 (dads are funny like that) or maybe it is more financial or space related. Maybe he is not looking forward to you being preganat again (I was not a nice person when pregnant) so my husband said if we have more (which he doesn't want at all anyway)he is more willing to foster or adopt.
No matter what God has a plan for you, even if it is not the same as yours or your husbands plan. It will all work out for Good.
Hope this helps :) I'll pray for you.

My husband and I had the same issue for a while. I told him I was ready and he would say let's wait until ours is 2, then it was after Christmas, and then after his birthday, it was always something. Finally I sat down and talked with him about why he wasn't ready yet, I overcame all of his objections and now I am finally pregnant!

His biggest objection was that financially he was not ready, but I explained to him that it would take 10 months to even have a baby if I got pregnant on the night we were speaking about it (which was highly unlikely). There never really seems like the PERFECT time to have a baby, it just happens and you make the time perfect!

When we started trying to have my daughter it happened on the first month, with this pregnancy it took us almost 2 years and many fertility treatments!! Even if you started trying now there is no guarantee you will have a baby in 10 months and still that is a lot of time to prepare.

My advise (beyond the above rambling) would be to talk to him about what his fears are, why he wants to wait and why he is not ready. This will at the very least open up the conversation and both of you can see each others side of the view.

Good luck!

If your husband is not ready yet, you should respect his position on this. Both husband and wife should be fully 100% on board BEFORE bringing a baby into the world. Because you'll need his enthusiasm when you're exhausted with both kids and he'll be a good support for you b/c he'll know for a fact that he wanted this too.

Talk to him and ask him his beliefs/views about when to have #2. Why does he have this position? Usually, with men, it's a financial/being able to provide for his family reason.
It looks like you are a college student, perhaps that stresses him out that you are in school and want to have a baby too, while working. Perhaps, to him, that's inviting too much chaos at this point in time -- that can be put off just a little bit longer until you are done with school.
TWO kids under 3 yrs old -- one a newborn -- that is A LOT of chaos. So be sure that he's on board 100%. You'll need his help!! And then some.

If your spouse is not ready for another baby, I would just wait. Wait until your baby is three then start. You and your spouse need to reconnect again, let him feel that he can breath.

Working, still in college and a toddler...sounds like you are still very young and you will have plenty of time to get pregnant and have another baby if you wait. My children are four yrs apart in age and that was a perfect age difference for us. They are far apart enough that oldest child was very helpful when #2 came along and yet they are close enough to really enjoy each other. They have sibling squabbles but nothing like I had with my younger sister (we were only 2 yrs apart).

Your husband is your parent partner, he has every bit as much to add to this decision as you do. Be patient, even if the cost of raising a second child doesn't affect your family until after the birth, the medical bills for your healthy preganancy will begin immediately. Get yourself through college first and then start to think about growing your family. And PLEASE finish college!!! That is the best thing you can do for yourself and your family.

Good luck :)

Respect his point of view and honor it. Do you really want to have a child with your husband who isn't ready? Make sure you both are on board. You're part of a partnership, be a partner not a princess. Having a 2nd child is three times as much work as having 1. You are going to need your husband's complete support and help. Especially if you are working and going to school. That's a lot to juggle. Why don't you wait until you are through with school? Then you won't have so much going on in your life and you can really enjoy your new baby.

In my case, we had our first, a boy, and he was 2 1/2 years old. We had always planned to work on #2 at that time, and when that time came, it was ME that wasn't ready. I wasn't ready financially or emotionally and it takes time to overcome both of those issues. We had JUST begun to get on our feet after years of struggling and I was the only one working at the time this happened. I couldn't see pulling our whole financial train and being a wife, mom and pregnant. It was a recipe for disaster.

He pushed, and brow-beat me, and pushed, and made me feel guilty for not doing things "as planned" and I finally felt so guilty that I gave in. I was terrified and felt as though I'd regret NOT having #2, and yet was terrified that HAVING #2 would be a terrible decision.

Right after I got pregnant (which took 2 months), he changed his tune and decided he wanted to go to Grad school instead of work until the baby was born and have him be a stay home dad (which we'd agreed would be the only way having #2 would work), and I'd finally had it with him. I left him when I was 8 weeks pregnant with our daughter. I chose to have her, and accepted being a single mom of 2 kids under 4 yrs old, instead of staying married and being a single mom of 3 kids under 35 yrs old.

Ultimately, him NOT being responsible and NOT taking our family finances and responsibilities seriously is what led to our divorce. Yes, getting pregnant was also my choice, but honestly, I didn't feel as though I had one.

Talk about it with your husband and don't think that just because you have 1 child means he's ready for a 2nd.

Best of luck

C.

It has to be a joint decision with both parents fully supporting the prospect of pregnancy.l If not, then issues will pop up years later.

We have an only child (BY CHOICE). We just knew our family would be complete with 1 child.

My dad was completely fulfilled with 1 child ( I was the older) but my mom was not. I was 6 when my brother was born with much resentment from my dad because he knew my mom wanted another. NO FAULT 100% on either party...they were dishonest with each other...which ended their marriage on their 14th anniversary after years of this resentment.

All I can say is be on the team with your hubby, talk it out, whatever but DO NOT "accidently" get pregnant. I have a neighbor who did that as well and things are not so happy at her house either.

Be honest...communicate with each other.

I am completely fulfilled with my daughter. I know men think in terms of $$ and how to fund everything needing to be funded. My hubby was that way with daughter and he made sure she was funded before she was born.

COMMUNICATION is KEY.