B.C.
This is hilarious and a good read:
http://www.scarymommy.com/20-things-that-happen-when-you-...
Oh, and if/when Hubby wants some attention after this child is born - hand him a baby.
Ok I won't really ask for help...more like "been there done that" stories.
My baby is currently 10 1/2 months old...and I am about 9 months along.
Now I will not sit here and moan and complain - I NEVER thought we would be so blessed and I know this baby will be a wonderful addition to our family. But so many emotions-!
Fear of how we will handle it, logistically, financially, emotionally...Sadness for my other two boys - my 10 year old JUST became a big brother now he will be outnumbered by babies (he has ADHD and has really struggled, but he's adjusting)...my baby is way too little to be a big brother...
Today I have been all broody looking at pics of our baby. When I found out I was pregnant, I somehow thought "well little man will be bigger by then, he'll probably be walking, he won't be a 'baby' baby, he'll more like a toddler....he'll be ok..."
Yeah. he's A BABY. he needs mama and daddy!
I feel badly that he didn't get to be "the baby" for very long.
That's just my current emotions. (Pregnancy hormones! lol!)
I know we'll be fine, we have an amazing support system and my husband is a huge help - we're very lucky. But still...it's such a fear of the unknown!
Any tips or tricks? In what ways will it be "like" having twins...in what ways should I prepare for two very different sets of needs? Since my first is a boy and my S. is a girl I'm hoping we can potty train them both at the same time. for example lol. We'll see! I know it's useless to plan...but gosh I sure wish I knew what to expect! Thoughts?
Aww what sweet, positive, supportive responses! Thanks so much! I am choosing to look at this as a new "adventure" because I'm sure it will be! I have my moments of worry but we'll get through it. You guys rock. And Suz, thanks especially - I never thought anyone would be envious lol. You crazy lady ;) I am SURE I will be back with more tales from the crazy house!! lol!
This is hilarious and a good read:
http://www.scarymommy.com/20-things-that-happen-when-you-...
Oh, and if/when Hubby wants some attention after this child is born - hand him a baby.
My mom had my sister and brother 15 months apart. She was in her early 20's. She tells me stories of bathing my brother (baby) and my sister falling asleep on her feet while she was standing bathing him. It made her feel guilty.
My siblings are normal, healthy people. My mom has often said it would've been easier to have twins. The guilt she felt was self induced. Neither kid suffered because of the other.
I'm glad you have a good support system and I encourage you to allow people to help especially to let you get some rest. My mom and dad worked out a routine where she would go to bed at 7:30 pm and dad would bathe my sister and give my brother a bottle. She would sleep until the 1-2 am feeding and get another short nap in. It worked well for them as my dad is a night owl and my mom is an early riser. After they developed that schedule, mom said she felt like a new person.
You will find your new normal. Just don't try to do it all. This is a relatively short time in the grand scheme of things. When you're tempted to think your 10 year old is suffering, please remember he had many years with you one on one. Maybe you can have a sitter stay with the babies and start a tradition of taking just him for an ice cream or walk to make time for just him.
Congrats and be kind to yourself.
well, you certainly have your hands full! and i'm sure the hormonal and the actuality will thrill and horrify for some time to come.
i both envy and pity you. :D
yeah, things aren't ideal for Big Brother who needs some extra help, or Middle Brother who won't be Baby for as long. but you know what? things aren't ever ideal. all of these lucky, lucky kids are in a loving, healthy, happy family where they are wanted and cherished.
that's as good as it gets.
i look forward to the Tales of Terror to come as you figure out how to cope.
and did i mention that little niggle of jealousy i'm feeling?
;) khairete
S.
Two of mine are back to back. They grew up as best pals. They are still close, fight of course, but there's a really strong bond there.
I loved it. We were busy for sure but they entertained each other as they grew. So the toddler doing silly stuff entertained the baby in the bouncy seat, just by throwing a ball, etc.
It felt very much like an assembly line. I did diaper changes at once. I bathed them together as soon as little one was old enough. Everything was sort of done in unison. We had a routine, even though I'm not a super structured person, and it was good - it kept our family organized.
What worked best for me was having a place to put baby - in every room pretty much - so I could follow kids around, and put baby in the middle of the fun. Baby was entertained, usually would nod off, and kids could just have their usual fun. Dad would take baby when he came home, so I could have mom time with the kids.
Those two learned to do a lot together - because I would be reading to older one, and little one was there observing. I didn't potty train together but the little one was super quick to train because again, he knew what to do. They like to catch up.
The older of the two was still a baby - don't feel you'll rush him. You'll enjoy him in different ways - and it will be great :)
My four were all a year apart. So I had a 3,2,1, and newborn. I survived. Just did babies and diapers. I had a nice routine that worked. Was it hectic? Sure but doable. We wanted our kids close. Who knew I was so fertile lol. If I had to do over, I would do it the same. Good luck.
My good friend had hers very close together. She raised them almost like twins. Girl and boy. Her daughter is 29 and her son just turned 28. Both kids are good friends and actually share a lot of the same friends.
I don't have personal experience, but a friend of mine did. Her first baby was 10.5 months old when her S. was born. Then, her S. baby was only 11 months old when her third child was born (babies one and three are only 22 months apart). Yikes!
Anyway, what worked for her was sticking to a pretty rigid schedule. Once the newest baby was a couple of months old, she got them napping at the same times and sleeping similar hours overnight. She would do her best to feed them all at the same time, too (she always opted to bottle feed so it made it a little easier to tend to the older ones while feeding the baby).
They didn't really do a whole lot for the first couple of years, as outings with all of them were difficult, but her days at home were manageable. When it came time to start activities, she did things that they could all do together, or at least be in the same place at the same time. From a young age, they were responsible for picking up their own toys and helping around the house (within reason).
Keeping the rigid schedule was the key. It even still worked when she had baby #4 a couple of years after #3.
This happened to my good friend! She had her son and then 1 month later she was pregnant again. She was so surprised. Both those boys were the most mellow babies/toddlers/kids. They are 11 and 12 now and they are awesome boys and best friends. I think you should not feel bad or like your little guy will not get to be the "baby" for long. He will! He will be the baby...and he will also have another baby sister. It'll all work out just fine...this will be a blessing.
Mine are 18 month apart. Looking back I sort of feel the pregnancy was the hardest...i couldn't carry the toddler and it was hard to bend over...hubby helped more once the S. was born. Once they all slept through the night at 7 years . It was all alot easier. I have a boy and then a girl..so it was also easier for them to find their own interests. And my first born is an angel so he really made dealing with the baby easier than it could have been...
Take care of you and ask for specific help. People will step up.