Attitude Adjustment, Desperately Needed!

What are the things that he does that you are always having to get on him about? Maybe you can change THOSE things so he isnt always in trouble with you. 2 is a crazy stage, he's learning to communicate, you have to guide him through it.... they dont automatically know how to react to things and they act out because its the only thing they might know how to do at the time.
It takes two to fight, don't let him get your goat.

My mom used to say, 'the trick to parenting a toddler is getting them to do what you need them to do without saying 'no' all the time." That wisdon changed my perspective, and it may also help you thinks of a few different strategies. One that works well for us is distraction. Just change the topic/what it is you are doing! Even, "Hey, let's go get a drink of water. I'm going to fill my full of lots of ice . . . etc." can be helpful.

Sometimes when my son is crying/whining, I just stop and give him a hug. We sit and snuggle for a bit. I find that acknowledging their disappointment/wants even if they don't get what they want can be helpful in getting them to mentally move on.

Are you trying to transition him before he wants to? Does he ever get lost in his activities, or does his attention span seem short (to an adult) in everything? Sometimes we try to have kids work on our schedule, but maybe things will go easier if you look for natural breaks in what he is doing before you do something else. If I were in the middle of a great puzzle, I might throw a fit if my mom interruped me to take me to the grocery store, for example.

Finally, my girlfriend says, 'Boys are like dogs, they need to be walked every day!" Silly, I know, but the point is my boys seem to be so much better after getting some large muscle exercise. So head to the park, take the soccer ball outside, grab your tricycle/push scooter and get some fresh air.

Good luck, mothering is a creative process! Pick your battles, he doesn't need to be perfect at everything, and that way you don't have to feel that you are always riding him. It's clear you love him, and want the best for him. That should take you a long way.

Daycare started to change my son's attitude for the better.

Also, when my son (the same age) throws his tantrums, time-outs nor spankings work. Toys? Who needs those when you have a table to flip or picture frame to jump on or piano to climb on or a pantry to get into and climb shelves or a bathroom to try and get into to play in the sink... I think you get the idea. I tell him not to break the tile/cement/wall and walk away. I am close enough where I know he's not hurting himself, but he can't see me. There have been a couple times that I will put him in his bed and zip up the crib tent before I choke him and after I calm down and so does he, I pick him up and hug and kiss him and he becomes the same boy I once knew.

You're so not the only one. Don't feel like a failure. His dad IS there all the time, but that doesn't change anything. : )

Another thing you could try... Give him something he CAN destroy or take apart. An old phone... Whatever. Mine is very smart and very mechanically minded. Loves to be out in the garage with mom and dad 'working' on stuff. Also, mine loves to be out and about. He loves the stimulation and attention he gets from people. We take walks to the store even when we don't need anything really. Those things seem to keep mine really happy.

I hear ya! I have one of those who is now 4...she is....ummm what the word...not something I can probably say here....NAUGHTY...nothing works...literally nothing. Even when she does something she is not supposed to and I say your going to get hurt, does she stop, nope she falls, gets hurt and I say now maybe you shouldn't do that...does it work...nope!

I have recently found some cd's called Parenting with Love and Logic the website is www.loveandlogic.com, your local library may have some of the cd too, but they have a toddler set...they are wonderful, I wish I could have an opportunity to meet Jim & Foster..they make it very easy and comfortable to listen and learn what it is they are talking about.

Good luck.

I feel for you but his behavior is normal for some kids (dad around or not).
Try distracting him. I know this is exhausting but....
The timeout in his bed (1 min for every yr so 2 mins max...set a timer).
They don't reach the age of reason til 7 and they do not fruly understand the concept of "no, don't do that as it comes with a repurcussion" (sp?) until about 4 or so. So having said that......stick with your timeouts, distractions, if you're at home and he's in a safe place....walk away for a few seconds to compose yourself and get a breather.
*Be consistent.
* And try to get some time for yourself: friend, sister to watch the child....even for a hour a few time a week.
Hang in there......this too shall pass.

What helps me is thinking about parenting as a long term investment and that I am teaching him lifelong skills. Some days are a wash, but overall I am contributing to how he approaches the world. I focus on problem solving, confidence building, empathy and compassion, as well as other things.

Your examples of what you tried to me are all variations of the same thing. I learned to approach things from a different perspective and getting things accomplished became a lot easier. Kathy B's response is along the lines of mine. Instead of having things be "you need to" "this has to" things got turned into Sesame Street style fun learning. A great place to start is "Playful Parenting". For example, instead of saying "you need to get dressed" which was answered with "NO!!!" I now would say. "It's time to get dressed and *I* am going to be the fastest!!" which gets them saying "no - I am fastest!" and the game is on. Or me putting on their clothes and instantly, they claim them "It's MINE and I"m putting it on." Okay, you win -hee hee.

Opening yourself up to looking for a fun way to frame things will save you thousands of battles. You now are doing things in a win-win style which is a GREAT dynamic to have your son grow up in. Imagine how successful he will be when he carries that forward to his professional career as well as the family of his own he will someday have.

Another good book may be "Raising your Spirited Child". There's a website from that author that will give you an idea of what the book is like, as well as amazon and even checking it out from the library for free.

Hi K.,
Nanny 911 that's funny. Age of Insolence ;-) Nothing pushes a parent's buttons more than being on the receiving end of back talk and tantrums. But get into a major power struggle and you'll just stress out more K.. Your once-mellow baby has become an opinionated 'you're not the boss of me' 2 yr. old. One solution is getting YOURSELF calm, and maybe a few Calgon oil beads to 'take you away'.

The technique I have used ( and you mentioned timeout doesn't work ) is to pick up and remove the child immediately and isolate him until things quiet down. I don't know how long your timeout was, but it should be applied until all is completely quiet. That could take an hour. It depends on each individual household since we are all different. This also gives you time to get in control of YOUR emotions. Lecturing is unnecessary.

Most tantrums and angry outbursts come and go as children grow in their ability to use language, and learn to solve problems using words. Your son is far too young yet to determine that his not listening, temper and outburts could signal serious problems. In pre teens and older there are certainly biological sources that may require diagnosis by a physician.

I firmly believe that it will pass but you Mom need a break. You are doing everything right and probably going overboard. Having Daddy around may or may not help. Only you could know that. Some Dad's tend to be more of a hinderance as they generally over spoil, side with the little rager and frown on 'spanking'. My husband would constantly grant #1 son's every wish to exasperation. But my son wasn't as uncontrollable and so I didn't mind as much.

God bless you and your little boisterous angel. It WILL pass, but CALM is the word, along with that little solitary confinement which is what timeout is.
Sincerely,
F.

Check out some of these discipline ideas...they might give you some different ideas that you can try that you might not have already...good luck!

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/discipline?utm_campa...

First of all don't EVER think you are a failure!!! We all as moms get this way at times But We Never Give Up. Because if we do it only make things worse.....RIGHT.... Sometimes we tried the "IGNORING" thing. Because our girls had to be the star of the attention when they wanted things. And if we sad NO they had a fit. Well If we yelled or punished them it only made it worse. So we did NOTHING AT ALL!!!! And at first they didn't know what was happening,and HATED IT!!! Once they calmed THEMSELVES down we would talk to them and find out what it was that they wanted. It worked well for us and even our family if we were not with them.
I do recomend that if you do leave your son w/ someone to do the same. So he KNOWS that he can't get away with that type of behavior with anyone!! Because if has get away with it IT will be 10x's harder on you to break that cycle.

Our girls are now 14 &12 and they don't ask more than 2x's if we say no. Because they understand that, 1) It isn't importanted,2) They don't NEED IT to live, and 3) Will they forget they have it in a month.

I hope this helps you bless you
C. C

Love and Logic has worked well for my 2 yo, 4 yo, and 7 yo. It gives them a sense of responsibility for their own choices and actions (yes, even the 2 year old). The other responder was correct in that there is a toddler set. Many libraries have the toddler edition of the love and logic book if you don't want to buy it until you have tried it! We ended up buying it because it worked so well and we wanted to be able to refresh our memories. They also do parenting tips and hints through emails and on their website.