Attitude - Murfreesboro,TN

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVEN ASK SUCH A QUESTION!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!? Just kidding! Sometimes I will read someone's reply to a question, and I will be so amazed at the answer that I go and read all of their other answers.

A mom asked about going on a girl's weekend one time. I thought some of the mom's answers were so funny. They were saying how their husband and kids were their world and they would never want to leave them even if it was just a weekend. I just read between the lines because what they were really saying is their husband wouldn't let them go flat out or wouldn't watch the kids so they could go. Every mom needs a bit of time to revive even the lala land ones. I know my twice a year girl's weekend is always wonderful. :o)

In general, I agree, although there are times when a person is being petty and needs to be reminded to get some perspective and that the world isn't perfect.
That being said, my personal eye-rolling favorite is when a mom is going through a rough time and is venting about her kids and life and needs some support, and then some blissed out mom writes in, "I have no idea what you are talking about. I never yell. My children are my world. I LOVE being up to my eyeballs in poopy diapers, screaming toddlers and fights over red crayons! This is absolute bliss and I LOVE every single second of it."
I mean seriously? Isn't the last thing we need when we vent is someone telling us we suck as moms? Don't we all have that little doubt in the back of our minds all the time anyway? Do we really need someone to point it out?
Side note: If anyone ever figures out what fabulous drugs these blissed out, perfect moms are on, please let me know. I want some. :)

I have noticed this with my last post about my 9 y/o lying & I got things like: he has a personallity disorder (some did give excelent advice). I know others were trying to help, but this place is for support & understanding by other moms who have been through similar situations & how they handled it.

God bless!

I agree with you 100%. When I ask a question I do want an honest answer but don't we teach our kids to not say anything if you can't say something nice? You can disagree and still be respectful, but some are down right agressive.

Yes, and I've seen it on online boards too. I agree with the other responders about the reasons for the hatefulness, but I also think the annonymous nature of posting online allows people to feel free to say whatever they want.

I totally agree. Some mom can be very nasty with their responses. Thanks for pointing it out. Maybe there will be some changes around here! Happy Monday!

Well my husband says I am the PC queen, but really who wants to feel shot down or stupid? I am with you, I like to be encouraged even when I need to be steered to consider things from another point of view. When I ask a question and get what I consider to be a harsh response I try to just think that differences in personality and expression are what makes the world go round and who am I to think only my way of communication works? But I do think all of us, myself included, have to remember that we are in many ways strangers and can't just be as blunt as we might be with a great friend who knows our character and understands our hearts. Great post, I love food for thought!!:)

Sometimes things don't come across the way they are intended in email. You can't see the person's face. Some people write what they think, but they certainly don't mean to be mean spirited - you know? (That's how I think about when I read, anyway.)
LBC

In any forum you always end up with people who are negative and have nothing nice to say. Sometimes it's because they are having a tough time in their real life and feel it's easier to lash out on someone they don't know. But most times it's people who seem to think that they are smarter than other.

It really I comes down to maturity. But in all honesty, if read someones question and I feek myself getting kinda ticked off or something, I just don't answer!! How hard is that people?? hehe

There are some Mom's that reply with negative replies. I usually think of it as sand paper . The Lord puts that in place to smooth away our rough edges, teach us patience and kindness towards others. I always try to be supportive because like Mom always said, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar!

Yes, yes, a hundred times yes! I don't know why some women have the need to do this. I always believe that if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing. I hate this, especially on here, because we're supposed to be supporting each other, but I see it everywhere I go. Whether it's having a hard time in life, wanting to showboat how smart some are, jealousy or whatever, I see it all the time and it really saddens me and makes me concerned as to where we are all heading as an entire society. Sometimes I wonder if society puts so much pressure on us, then we automatically have to hate anyone that we perceive as having more of or better than. It's a shame, though, and I wish it wasn't like that.

Amen and Amen, some people need to be reminded that if they dont have anything nice to say---Dont say ANYTHING!

I used to be on another one and it was terrible. I had not noticed so much on this one.

Yep! Once someone replied something like "If you even have to ask this question you should already know the answer" Well obviously I didn't or I wouldn't have asked! Or maybe I wanted another point of view to consider or maybe some support. :)

If you ask a question on a board like this you have to expect some wildly different opinions. I enjoy those opinions although I certainly don't agree with all. That is okay because I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with me. At times it is simply difficult to put down words that sound sympathetic. It tickles me to see so many different people respond at times with very strong opinions. I'm glad people are willing to try and help. I appreciate their willingness to do so.

this has been discussed MANY times on this site.

This is the written word.
You CANNOT see my body language.
You CANNOT hear my voice - the inflections, passion, etc.

IF you do NOT like the person who responds - you read their response with snottiness.

IF you do NOT like WHAT the person who responds SAYS - you read their response with snottiness.

Opposite true if you like the person or like what they said.

What YOU think is NASTINESS? Other's see has honesty. There are those that seem to think that because of the anonymity of the site, it gives people the "right" to behave badly. I disagree with part of that. There are just some people who are nasty - period. I've stated several times on here - "I'm not a bakery - I don't sugarcoat everything" - I give you my thoughts and my opinions. I don't sugarcoat. What I say here? I would say to your face.

Your idea of nice? May not be MY idea of nice. That's the beauty of the world - we all see things differently. None of us have had the same experience. None of us talk the same way...

W.,

hello, i felt the same way a while back when i posted a question\comment about my two and a half yo. i was very frustrated when i posted it and really ended up venting a lot of my issues. anywayi had one mom that was completely rude in her response. However, when i sent her a personal emal pertaining to her rudness she rephased her comment. so maybe you might let her know how you felt about her comment.

Completely agree. Someone who is reaching out for help on the site should not be made to feel bad about it. Dont know what the motivation is behind such negative comments and judgments.

I understand what you mean. I am thinking about quitting my local mommies forum because of it. I don't know what people are thinking of sometimes. If I have a problem with what someone says, I don't even waste my time with a response. It's not worth getting upset over. I don't know what drives people to be so confrontational, even in a forum. I always tell myself, like a previous poster mentioned, it's most likely because they are covering up something going on in their lives, or hiding their own guilt.