Attention Span Toddlers

Hi there,

Years ago, I was a lead teacher of an older toddler group at a daycare. Our rule of thumb was that attention spans last about 1 minute per year old for the child. If your daughter is playing at something for two to three minutes, which can seem like an incredibly short time to us, she's actually doing fine. Some people might give you anecdotal advice on this, such as "My child at this age could do such-and-such for ten minutes" and that's fine, but bear in mind that the child is probably not doing *everything* for ten minutes. (and watching television doesn't count!)

Children will engage for longer in things they are interested in than those they aren't. Some of this has to do with where they are developmentally. It sounds as though your little one is going through a phase of gross motor development, and it can occupy just about every minute of their time because even as toddlers, children are hardwired to work toward mastery. It is very common for little ones to "not hear" when we yell Stop or No because they haven't developed the executive function skills in the brain which facilitate multi-tasking, and when a child is engaged in running, etc., ALL of their senses are focused on the task. This can be misconstrued as a child willfully not listening, when in fact, they truly 'don't hear' us. I've learned over time that it's best to catch up with an active child and get their attention physically first (through either gentle touch or joining them in,say, hopping or other activity) and then to give a direction. If it's a safety issue, be prepared to stay close and run after them, catch them physically and then calmly say, "Stop those feet now." Young children need to actually have their attention physically drawn away from their activity and over to you before they can hear what you are saying.

(At this point, some might suggest that I am too lenient or am not respecting a child's intelligence. This is far from the case. I have worked with children for 19 years come Novemeber, and these conclusions come with years of trial and error. They are also supported by research as well as hands on application.)

In regard to your question about activities, "will they sit and color", what I found was that each child played in the way they were needing to. When I presented markers to a group of toddlers, more of them were interested in playing with the caps than coloring with them. Give them 3 markers and two containers and the markers were treated as manipulatives, to be dumped out and rolled around! If you want to introduce art opportunites, more gross-motor friendly activities like those big 'dab-o' type sponge-tipped markers work well, because the toddlers love to pound them. Soft playdough for punching and pushing, along with some popsicle sticks and other items to press into it (don't worry about rolling pins, cutters, etc. at this age) is fun. Big paint work with big brushes is fun, and so are activities like "painting the house" with a paintbrush and water, where the child can use those big brush strokes and not make a huge mess. Dump-and-fill activities are par for this age, so if you have a sandbox, or even a bin of rice or dry oats, use it--just add some containers and scoops. I introduce a lot of fine motor skills practice around three years of age, and can give you a list of these for later on if you need. Just send me a message.

And to answer your last question: children will do/play whatever they are needing to learn without micromanagement, if given the opportunity and the setting. Some children engage in puzzle and block play or dolly play much earlier than others--it's a huge spectrum. If we keep distractions to a minimum (television off), a child will find what they are needing to do.

Children do not need to be talked into playing, and they learn through play. Bruno Bettelheim wrote a great book (The Good Enough Parent) and discusses how different kinds of play all help the child to work through what they are ready and needing to learn (especially in the social/emotional realm) , and children come back to tasks that they haven't successfully mastered, if we give them the chance. Be patient, know that your daughter sounds very typical, and if it were me, I'd let her play outdoors every chance she gets. Toddlers are exhausting, and if we give them room to move (and happen to have a fenced-in yard), this can help tremendously. She doesn't need you to over-engage, either...she knows what she needs to be learning, and will do it if she can!

My daughter is the same way. She'll be 3 next month. It's getting a little better but not by much. She just goes and goes and goes. The only thing that ever gets her to sit is a preschool show like Yo Gabba Gabba or Team Umizoomi. Everyone has always described Aubrey as "busy" or "independent" because she has never stopped to do what everyone else is doing, just keeps going and going. She's very hyperactive and that's just her. I love her for it, but yes, it is very exhausting every day.

So many variables in this for the age. You should be given some rating scales by your evaluator that will have questions that you will rank as "never, rarely, sometims, often, or always" about her behaviror. These are normed according to a very large sample of children that are exactly her age. So if she is 2.5, your answers (and the answers of teachers or other care givers) will be compaired to the answers of thousands of others with children who are 2.5. So, even if you can't figure out what is typical for the age (big span) your evluator will be able to tell you how typical her behavior is for her age.

Also, for kids with these types of issues, what you are describing that holds her interested are vestiubular activities and vestibular sensory seeking behaviors. You should be sure that there is an Occupational therapy element to her evaluation.

Just a side note, autism is not one a diagnosis that is ruled out by things that children can do. There are children who have skills that many children with autism do not have, but they still carry the diagnosis. This is a misconception many people have, and they can be very discoraged if they held this idea that their child "could't be" because they "can do x" and find the diagnosis that much harder to take. If is not too big an issue if you have a good evaluator to guide you, but I have been saddened before by families who did not seek proper evaluation and treatment because they thought that their children were safe, when they were not so. It is always better to know, and get intervention, so I am glad that you are getting one.

It is also effective for many children to get treatment and intervention based on the issues the child has, even if you don't have, or can't get a diagnosis. That is still very effective for children.

Good luck!

M.

I also have an older child who has ADHD but our youngest does not. I can tell you the difference. At two and a half, our son (who has ADHD) couldn't sit still at all, except for Wiggles shows and then it was a five or 10-minute stretch, tops. He'd be moving his body as he sat. He ran through circle time and couldn't focus on adults at all. He would climb the countertops when I'd go use the bathroom and run across the furniture. Very, very defiant. Energizer Bunny the entire day; nothing wore him out.

At two and a half, our daughter could sit for long stretches and play. She followed direction. She would sit and color. She often wanted parent involvement but didn't NEED it, the way our son did. She wasn't always focused and would go from task to task quickly at times, but it was notably different than with her brother. If we told her to stop doing something, she'd usually comply or have an argument instead. Our son would just ignore us and keep doing what he wanted.

I can't say what's going on with your youngest. It's smart to get a professional's opinion. As you no doubt know, the earlier you can get help if there's a problem, the better.

Hazel, that was a very helpful answer! Thank you!