At What Age to Have "THE TALK"?

I incorporate the "talk" into everyday conversations. My nine year old got an earful about menstruation out of the blue, because I somehow steered the conversation that way..can't even remember what we were talking about originally. In fact at the end of my diatribe, she asked, "how did we start talking about that?". Then we were reading an animal fact book and got to a page about breeding. Easy to start discussing the similarities between humans at that point. She said, ew, when I got a tiny bit detailed, but at least she learned a bit. I'm learning to be up front with it now, so I'm hoping it's not a giant talk all at once. That doesn't sound like fun for anyone.

When we were in elementary school, in the spring of 3rd grade, we were instructed on the changes that we should be expecting in our bodies...

Remember there are quite a few girls that will get their periods in 4th grade.
That was also the first year they told us about how babies are made.

My mom had been talking about these things since the summer after second grade..

Then each year in the spring they would have a bit more information in the human anatomy studies and the Animal studies.

I think in some ways we have been having the talk since the very beginning. We started off with how special they are to us that they are a gift from God. We have told them that their bodies are special as well. We have spoken about how we treat something that is very special. I would never just put my most prized procession out for everyone to take and handle. I show them a few of our very special family heirlooms and then ask how often I bring those items out and would I ever let someone handle them carelessly. I then tell them that they are far more important than those items. I would want someone to be even more careful with my children. We talk about how we keep our bodies covered because they are so special and that we don't just put it all out there for others because they are special. As their brothers and sisters have come to be we talk about those babies growing in my tummy and we all enjoy all the kicks and movements of those babies. We talk about how those babies were a part of Mommy and Daddy and that God joins us in the creation of those babies. There have been many discussions about how they grew out of a love that their father and I share. We answer all their questions honestly with only the details they ask for. We tell them that Momma's have special parts and Daddies have special parts that help to make a baby. It just has grown out of this discussion as they have gotten older and seems to be a pretty natural progression. My sixteen year old has been more specific in her questions and I just honestly and openly answer all the questions she has.

We "talked" from toddler age on up, consistantly. We addressed body parts, changes, etc.

There was never "a talk" because it has been ongoing (age appropriate of course) from a very young age. One thing I wanted to make sure of was that my daughter felt comfortable enough to ask me ANYTHING. I much prefer to answer her questions with facts vs relying on her to learn from friends, etc who don't have all the facts.

If you are not comfortable talking to your child or embarrassed.... then do it when you are driving, talking a walk, etc.

The last thing you want is for them to hear from sources that are not credible.

Good luck! They grow up WAY too fast.

I think 9 is a great age to have the talk, personally. My daughter is turning 8 in May and it was so funny, the other day we started venturing in that direction, and then she smiled and yelled, "I don't want to hear about all the teenage puberty stuff yet, mom!" And she put her hands over her ears and laughed :)

I cracked up. But I purchased the American Girl Care and Keeping of You and have it ready for whenever she's ready. If she hasn't asked again by age 9, that's probably when we'll start beginning the more detailed conversations.
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ETA: We already have a body book and how babies are made (very simplistic) and we've already read those. Of course, they are very age-appropriate and don't cover the more mature aspects of sex just yet.

Hey, as someone else said - you can never start too soon. I remember a boy in my Kindergarten class trying to "feel me up" on the school bus!

This is reminding me to have aNOTHER talk with my boys (7 and 11). My oldest really is clueless, and doesn't seem to have any interest in sex, etc. but he has already been through "maturation" (spring of 5th grade), which is mostly about "puberty" and such - not sex. We've had several conversations over the years. My 7 yr old, on the other hand, is going to be a problem (or maybe he's just "normal"). He has "played with himself" since he was a toddler. I still catch him with his hand down his pants now and then. All fine and dandy in the privacy of your own home (which is what I've told him), but I should probably be (or continue to be) more proactive. We also discuss the "stranger" aspect of our private parts - generally, in the same conversation.

"The Talk" is actually an ongoing series of talking that starts whenever your child first asks questions. It isn't something you schedule on a to-do list or present like a seminar. Just make sure they know that they can ask anything at any time.

If you live in Chicago there's no need to worry. The public schools just announced that they're going to start teaching sex ed in kindergarten. Oh... but it will be "age appropriate". Not kidding. Ridiculous.