At What Age Do You Start Dropping Your Kids off for Playdates and with Whom?

My oldest is 11 yrs old and if I don't know the parents I still come in. I normally don't stay the whole time but I have to be comfortable with the parents.

Kindergarten is I think when I started to let them...but preschool with people I knew well. Honestly-8 is quite old to still be tagging along. If my son wanted to have a friend over and his mom actually stayed-not sure what I would do. It would be the last time for that friend to come over thats for sure. Entertaining another mom is NOT part of the playdate...sorry if that sounds harsh.

Whoa yeah, he's years too old for that. My 5-year-old (in pre-school) goes to play dates alone. I do find that the other kids with whom he has play dates have older siblings so the kids are used to seeing their siblings have play dates and can't wait to do that themselves. He probably has two play dates per week, either here or at someone else's house from right after school (1 PM until anywhere from 3:30 - 5 PM). My older kids didn't have as many because they were in daycare until they started Kindergarten and then were in after-school programs but even they would go by themselves in Kindergarten. I usually don't meet both parents early on because one is usually at work after school. I do make sure to stay for a few minutes and chat with the parent the first time over, and all will invite me in (but I don't stay longer than 5 minutes). None of the kids who have come to my house have had a parent stay the whole time, and past a certain age (5 or 6) if a child needed his or her mom the whole time, we probably wouldn't have the child over very often because I don't have time to entertain someone's mom. Of course if a child had an issue that would be different, but just an over-anxious mom? No, that wouldn't fly.

Please let your child go alone. He will be fine, really, and if you don't break this habit, you will hinder his social life.

Kindergarten. Our daughter went to their homes and they came over here. This is when we started these visits and playdates.
Actually it was the child of a mom that had older kids that first invited our daughter over to their home. , so I felt like she knew what she was doing. I learned from her how to handle the pickups and drop offs.

Just leave your number and they will give you theirs. I always invited the parent in the first visit and stated the "House rules" in front of the parents. Then we would verify the time to pick up or that I would drop off.

It is a great way to meet other parents too. I have a lot of my best friends because our kids were classmates.

Yes, he's too old to have mom tag along. First you do have to lay some groundwork. For example I wouldn't drop him off with someone I don't know. I've always made a point of talking with mothers for long enough that I have a sense of who they are.

I also suggest that you go in with him. Most moms lay out the rules of the house while the kids' mom is there so that the mom can reinforce that rules have to be followed. This also helps you know more about how the family is managed. If mom doesn't initiate this I learned to do so. While you're in the home, take a look around and see if it's safe. No guns laying around, lol That actually isn't as outrageous as it seems. As a police officer I've walked into homes with a gun on the coffee table and the parents thought nothing of it.

If you don't know them well enough to know if guns are in their lifestyle, I'd ask.

Also, be sure that you have their phone number and they yours. And coach your son to call you if he begins to feel uncomfortable. Without knowing the full story, if a mother had called me to say my daughter was asking for me, I'd immediately go to pick her up. Some kids are more or less comfortable in someone else' home. My daughter when she was a child and now my granddaughter did and does call every once in awhile. I don't give them a choice about coming home. They usually can't say why they want to go home. They just do. I accept their feelings. They may not say they want to go home or they may plead to stay longer but I still take them home. Later I explain that it's important to me to know that they're comfortable.

I trust my intuition too, but I also ask a lot of questions before I let my daughter have play dates alone. I have to feel comfortable with at least one parent. I don't always know the father. Usually the father isn't around anyway. I also have to feel comfortable with the home. It should look lived in but there shouldn't be garbage on the floor. That sort of thing.

It may take awhile for your son to get used to your leaving and he may call you early. That's OK. You're building trust with him.

In your case, I'd let him have the play date alone. You know the mom. You'll be at the house and know what it's like when you take him. If it doesn't look safe you can always invent a appointment that you just remembered. Or you can say you've discovered that you're really not ready to drop him off.

I would come in for a few minutes and when your son and you feel comfortable then go. Talk to your son and see what he thinks. My kids are still quite young but I think when I was a child we started going to friends houses without parents in 1st grade.

My kids both started in Kindergarten. I generally met these parents at school functions. I will normally go to the door and talk again with the parents. It's usually only for a few hours. I give them my cell phone number in case they need to call me in an emergency.

Good Luck!

My daughter started having drop off playdates around 4 with people we knew and were friendly with, and now in kindergarten I assume that it's a drop off playdate unless the parent specifically tells me otherwise.

I know you're nervous, but your son speaks up for himself all day at school. Remind him about using his manners, go in for a couple of minutes at drop off to get him acculturated, give him a hug, and go.

I am only comfortable with my son hanging out with friends whose parents I know and feel comfortable around anyway. He's 8 years old and only recently has begun to go over for sleepovers and to play with friends. If you are dropping him off, I'd suggest going in for a little while and making sure that things start well.

Interesting. A boy in my sons class invited him over and he went (first friend over for him and my sons first play date other than a neighbor). The mom called and told me it was going fine but he was asking for me a few times. I asked her if he wanted to talk to me and he said no. He just needed to know I was coming to get him soon. The other boy keeps asking me if he can come to our house and the mom doesn't call me about it. I've left her messages and talked to his sister to tell the mom. The boy isn't afraid of me and keeps begging to come and my son was begging and begging for him to come over but it didn't happen. I was wondering if she's afraid to let him go. We get along fine and our older kids go to school together also. I feel this way when certain family members ask to have my son over and I know I would worry with some parents too but I think she is a good mom and sweet.

My answer is NEVER..this includes playdates, sleepovers, parties, sporting events, and even going to a public restroom NEVER. Something terrible was done to my daughter when she was 9 yrs old and spending the night with her little girlfriend. I don't care to talk about it. But she has a 9yr old now, and he will never never do any of the above on his own. Let me just say, it was of a sexual nature and it was my daughters friends father. Yea, we thought we knew them too.