At the End of My Rope... - Newport News,VA

For the most part, you are being very understanding, which is good. However there is a fine line between being sensitive to his needs, and letting him rule by tantrums at times.

For example, because we don't allow tantrums in our house after about 18 months of age, we may have to leave disappointed kids outside the bathroom door from time to time for a few seconds while we pee or take a shower, but having a melt down over it isn't an option. They know discipline would result, so they buck up and wait until we're out of the bathroom, can pick them up, etc. Same at bed time. Tantrums are not an option there either. Freaking out and peeing on oneself if mom refuses to come into bathroom. Not an option. If you are going with him every time to avoid that melt down rather than disciplining the behavior, he will keep doing it.

It would save you lots of headaches to nip the fits, even though it's hard to be firm in those moments at first. He will get more confident and happy once he is forced to be a bit more independent and control his fits. He'll still be sensitive and love you to bits, he'll just start to behave better which is a load off everyone's plate. You'll spend a lot more time on fun with him when this stops.

My friend has a son who was super sensitive and clingy and acting like you describe at 2. She and her husband never disciplined it, just nurtured it and kept on his good side as best they could, and now at 4, he still acts that way and it's NOT cute anymore. They have "that kid" none of their friends can stand to be around, and it's not the child's fault.

Believe me, my 3rd, who is now 2, was born angry, and now, thanks to firm, calm discipline, she will control her fits and it has saved my sanity because technically everything "upsets" her but that doesn't mean she's allowed to have fits.

If you have him potty trained so young, you do have the fortitidue! You can do it!
If you want advice on how to nip the traumatized behavior and fits, this book is great Back o Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson.

I like Betsy's idea of freezing as he goes to grab you something. I bet it'd give him a giggle.

Maybe you guys need to play ball and you 'accidentaly' toss it too far?

Get him his very own special flashlight so he can find his way.

I think baby steps are good, like Besty said. I wish I had more. Keep trying new things. But I say the more funny you do it, the easier it will be. It'll be hard to make things fun and light-hearted, but I think it'd be the best. (I made it a joke to eat my 3 yr old's dinner the other night. I told the hot dog to hide under the noodles so my son wouldn't eat it. Well of course he thought that was hilarious and he found that hot dog and gobbled it up with a huge grin on his face). So try your best to be upbeat and try not to get angry at him. I understand COMPLETELY how hard that will be. Best of luck!

Aw poor thing =(

Start small. Like if you are eating and forget a fork or napkin or something, have him go get it. Don't get mad, just keep reassuring him you will not move an inch until he gets back. You should even be funny and actually freeze until he returns. He is obviously having trust and insecurity issues (the new house probably). slowly but surely, let him know he can trust you and trust the house you are now in. Slowly let him start getting things. Every time you have to go to the bathroom with him, say you have to stand an inch back from the last time and slowly work your way out of the room.

I would try to nip this habit now. It is sad and cute, but in a year it won't be! =)

ooh A. I'm sorry....

I think you've been given some good advice so far...asking him to go get something - encouraging him to do things on his own.

I would NOT let my child in the bathroom with me...he can stand outside the door - but I need privacy. PERIOD. You don't let him have tantrums elsewhere but on this you do...so he has manipulated you and is now controlling the scene.

Take a deep breath and take control back....you can do it.

some times, as i have learned, the hard way, matter of fact, you have to "encourage" the child by refusing to allow them to command your every waking moment. when we first moved our daughter was clingy, but not that clingy. put up a baby gate at the bathroom door, so you can watch them without having to hold them both, or at least thats the ideal. my daughter, who is now, 20 months, will follow me into the bathroom where she will be expected to sit quietly ( and play with the "extra" roll), she knows i am not going to pick her up and hold her while i pee, it doesnt stop her from asking though. bedtime is bedtime, and our daughter is given the choice, if she is still awake, of playing in bed quietly till she falls asleep, sitting in her swing till she falls asleep or being put in her playpen, or sitting with me while i rock her to sleep. in extreme cases, when nothing works, and i have made multiple attempts to rock her, i simply say ok, i am putting you down now, since you dont want to be held till you fall asleep.. i am getting up, going into the kitchen and doing the dishes, have fun. within less then ten minutes, she has changed her mind, tugs on my leg, smiles up at me and asks to be rocked to sleep.hope this helps
K. h.