Hi K. -
Bless your heart for taking care of Cadence with such patience while your husband is so far away.
I've read many postings with your specific dilemma, and what I've found is this common theme: parents are too often focused on PUTTING their kids to bed rather than making their kids think that the whole household is going to bed.
Case in point: with my two kids, if I'm up and about at night during their bedtime, they won't go to sleep. This is because they feel that they're missing out on something. My husband usually stays up until 11 p.m., but they don't really care what he's doing...as far as they're concerned, he's doing his own thing, it isn't fun, so why bother checking it out? What they want is their Mommy to be laying with them, reading a book, singing to them, praying with them, and then "falling asleep" with them - in that specific order. All in all, this process takes about 15 - 20 minutes, which is really a small amount of time to invest especially if I want some alone time with my husband or just some time for myself. I actually cherish these times with my kids because I know they won't last forever.
Because you're alone with your daughter, she may be feel a bit unnerved that she's the only one going to sleep at that time...if she feels that the whole house is shutting down, she'll have no choice but to do the same thing.
Keep us posted. Blessings to you and yours.