Asperger Syndrome - Pomona,CA

Well, as a mom of a child on the spectrum the variants on the spectrum are tremendously wide! However, have you ever considered that maybe it isn't an Autism thing and maybe some type of anxiety issue with him? He's obviously more comfortable at home so the anxiety isn't as high but at school with having demands placed on him, he needs the routine to be able to function w/o the anxiety of failing. My autistic child did have a little anxiety not too long ago and his doctor suggested he may be low in magnesium. I purchased a product called, "calm" at Whole Foods that really helped my son a lot. Try looking up the symptoms of a child who has a magnesium deficiancy, it may describe your son. Good luck!

W.,

I see you have been worried about your son for several years now. You have mentioned Asperger's, anxiety, and selective mutism in previous posts. As your son gets older, it may be easier to figure out what's going on. If you've had him evalutated for Asperger's twice and the results were negative, then it's not Asperger's. I'm guessing you've already realized it's not selective mutism. It could still be anxiety and he may need to be treated for it. My daughter has problems with anxiety--in fact it runs in our family. She has had therapy and is currently on a low-dose of anti-anxiety medication. She's doing very well. She's also has a very high IQ. The combination of IQ and anxiety caused a lot of meltdowns, questioning the teacher, needing a routine, not wanting to play with other children, etc. She was referred for an Asperger's eval also, and was negative (and negative for ADD, ADHD, and bi-polar). I also saw in an earlier post that you were asking whether or not to divorce your husband because of his apparent addiction to pain pills. This kind of familly dynamic can make an anxious child even more anxious. I'd start working on the anxiety end of things with his pedi and seek out therapy for him. Play therapy helped my daughter work through a lot of the things that scared her. You might consider therapy for yourself too, if you can swing it, as you seem a bit anxious yourself. I only say that because I'm an anxious mom too and therapy really helped me.

K.

I have a daughter that has some social skill issues and this board was the best answer for me so I hope that you get some good answers. I really thought that my daughter (7) had aspergers but her pediatrician thinks that she has ODD, (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) I love the letters!! She is very shy with kids and has no idea how to make friends and is rude to those who try to make friends with her. She won't do speeches in class and hates to work with others. She will be starting a counseling session soon and that has taken about 2 months to get going from my own first realization that something was wrong. Her teacher and I know that she is so smart but just has social issues and we worry about her future if we did nothing. I was told here to get her into some social groups and they are all geared toward dealing with the same issues. They were just too far to go to right now. Another one of my children is borderline OCD and has to have extreme structure. I am not sure if any of these are autism ranges but they are real and they all can be handled with love and understanding. Good luck and you are your child's voice so fight for what is best for them.

You've gotten some great answers but I did want to toss in my 2 cents for what's it's worth.

First, I worked in a public school and found that the school is very quick to label kids. I'm not sure exactly why, maybe it's for state funding, maybe it's an out for the teacher, maybe it has to do with test scores. I don't know why, but seriously like 80% of the kids were labeled with something.

Second, I have a really good friend with aspergers syndrome. I am surprised they tested your son for being shy. Some kids are shy, it's when they are socially awkward you may have a problem. This awkwardness would apply with several kids, one kid, or even you and him together. My friend bursts out in song in the middle of store, says inappropriate things very loudly in a restaruant and pretty much just doesn't "get it." Having said this she is very very intelligent. She has her master's degree but due to her inability to read people and understand complex social situations she will never hold a high end job. Children with aspergers also usually only develop a limited range of interests. This may be why the teacher thinks there is an issue with your son, he is interested in the toy sharing aspect, but you know your son. Does he want to play with the same toy every day and is obsessed with it to the point of not wanting to play with anything else? When my friend was younger she loved Mario cart. She knew every player, every car, every level, even levels released only in Japan. She rarely talked to me about anything else for a few months and was disinterested in the 'real world.' You would know if your son was like this.

My opinion is that your son is too young to get labeled in school and pigeoned holed into certain classes or certain mindsets from teachers. Research the warning signs of autism and aspergers and what types of work or therapy you can do with him and work with him at home. Let the teacher know that you will keep an eye on your sons behavior and routines and you will address them as you see fit.

Hello, I don't know if there were other incidents, but this doesn't sound that unusual. He might have annoyed the teacher, but that's kindergarten. If he doesn't usually mind change, then I wouldn't worry about it. We are all too busy trying to label children these days. If this becomes an issue, then you can get it checked.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.

Check out this check list:

http://www.mkdowney.com/characteristics.html

Hey W.,
It doesn't sound like this is something to be concerned about unless he does this consistently with his teacher and on a variety of different subjects. As a former elementary school teacher of 17 years, I found that many of my students would come up and talk to me, but not really listen to response. So, I started requiring my students to look me in the eyes when they talked to me. That made a world of difference. You may want to ask the teacher to do this with your son and then have him repeat back to her what she said. This will ensure that he's getting the message.
Honestly, it just sounds like your son was REALLY disappointed that he didn't get to share his toy. Golly, I would be too if I were him. :)

Austisim has a wide range of behavior and severity. Check out the Autisim Speaks web site and see what answers you can find. Talk to the special needs teachers at his school and/or go to a local university and talk to someone in the education department. They may have some valuable info.
I just read an article yesterday that Dan Ackroyd has both Tourettes and Aspergers, he has done amazingly well for himself, as well as Donald Trump and Bill Gates, both with Aspergers.

3

Go to www.tacanow.org - this is a support group for families with kids on the 'spectrum' and there will be lots of suggestions, answers to your questions and if you don't see the answer on the website, call them or email. They can then get you in contact with another parent that has gone through similar things.

Some kids are shy, and some are very routine oriented.
It is either a personality thing, or a concern.

I think he is fine.
His testing was negative.

And you said he is fine at home.
IF he did have an issue... then his behavior issues would be the same at home AND at school. Too.

That is the key thing, to think about.
He is not like that EVERY where nor all the time.

Your son seems like a bright boy.

I think you're putting too much thought into this. Some kids JUST like to know. My oldest was a total planner. She had to know when, where, why on EVERYTHING. It got to be a running joke with us. In fact she went on a couple of trips with our church group and she made the pastor crazy wanting to know what was next and when. He finally told her she'd just have to WAIT and see and trust God! LOL She's 19 and still a lot like that, but she has gotten a LOT better about it. :)

Hi Laura,

The langauge that you are using makes me think that you need to get an evaluation that you can count on. Since you said "regional center" I am assuming that you have had a school based, state agency type of free evaluation? If that is the case, and you have not been to a Developmental Pediatrician for a full evaluation, one that takes many days and inludes many different specialists, that generated a report for you that was 15 to 20 pages long (one that either you paid for, or your insurance company paid for) then you really do not kow if your son has had Asperger rulled out or not.
Regional Centers, ECI, and Public School districts all receive funding through the federal government under IDEA, and conduct mandated evaluations on every child who is suspected of having a disablity. They have a clear afirmative obligation, but their purpose is to find, evaluate, and identify children with disablities so that they can be appropriately educated, not so that they will be treated for all issues or conditions that the child may have. They have defined all disablities by thier own standards, ones that are decided by administrators with the help of lawyers who read the case law on these matters, and know when they must provide services fo a child so that they will not be sued. This does not mean, under most circumstances, that your son does not have asperger syndrome, it means that who ever evaluated him was of the opinion that he did not meet their criteria for them to provide services.

The other word you used, "test" also makes me wonder, there is not a test, there should be an evaluation that includes: medical, neurological, occupational, educational, psychological, language, speech, vision, and sometimes gentics, ENT, audiologists and others.

It is not unusual for high functioning children who are on the autism spectrum to be missed in early diagnostics. If you think that there is any possiblity that your child has a developmental issue, call the nearest children's hospital and make an appointment with a developmental pediatrician.

None of us can tell you if your child is on the spectrum. That you are asking, and that you have had reason enough to have him evaluated, and now, your sons kindergarten teacher has noticed something that makes you wonder, get a proper evaluation so that you can say with confidence that he does or does not have an issue. You may find that he does not, but you will get helpful information about things that you can do to help him in ways you have yet to thing about. Evaluation is never a bad idea.

Keep in mind, if your teacher ever suggests that he has a particular disorder, the school is then obligated to evaluate him for that disorder. For this reason, most teachers will not suggest a diganosis. If your sons teacher continues to tell you what she sees, you should have a serious discussion with her about what she thinks and what your son needs to be sucessful. She may not be able to just come out and say what she thinks, because she could get into trouble, but she can help you if your son needs it.

If you get a diagnosis from a Developmental Pediatrican, also request an evaluation from the school.

M.

some kids just like routine more than others. my youngest was like that - and I realized that I am too!! It is calming for them when they know what is next, lowers the anxiety about the unknowns....Seriously, you kid might just be a little shy kid who likes routines. I wouldn't stress about it or pigeon hole him in a category. Let him be the way he is and do whatever it takes to make him feel safe and confident. You might what to tell him that he is smart to know what goes next as it is a good trait to develop but encourage him to accept that life doesn't always go according to routine - that it IS OK if it is different.

You have expressed a concern and I feel that you will continue to feel there is something "wrong" for a while. Here is my suggestion. Find a Developmental Pediatrician or Developmental Psychologist and express your concerns again. Kids change and it won't hurt to have him retested. Also, I always suggest to have a complete hearing exam (not in the doctor's office) and an eye exam,..........sounds silly I know but different things can cause anxiety and/or problems in children; RULE OUT EVERYTHING.
If everything still comes back "no problem" try to relax and just let him be a kid. My youngest was and still is shy to a certain degree but he is doing fine.
Please let us know what happens we are all moms and we really do care.

Penny Amic CEO/Clinical Director
Special Beginnings, Inc.
An Early Intervention Network

This could just be a boy thing. My son and husband are VERY routine oriented!! Ex. my husband has the EXACT same routine every weekday morning. You can almost time him to the second in doing things. If he wakes up say 20m late, instead of skipping a part of his routine he goes to work 20m late! Me, I would skip parts, adjust. Not him. My son is the same way. Don't ask him to jump out of bed and get in the car. If he doesn't get 20m of tv and breakfast, forget it!! He also has the same mentality with homework. If he gets stuck on a problem, he will sit there for days (not kidding), staring at the same problem instead of skipping it and coming back later. 'That's not allowed you have to go in order' he'll tell me.

Your son may just be the same way. He's learned the routine and wants to do it right. The fact that the toy sharing part is his favorite would be a good reason for him to ask about it. Not only is the routine changed, he missed the one part he was waiting for!!

M.

My son's preschool thought that he should be evaluated for being on the spectrum a few months ago. The psycologist agreed with us that he wasn't on the spectrum, but he has several issues that to me look like OCD and/or anxiety. He has trouble with transitions going from one activity to another at home. We have to let him know about what we are going to do in advance (ex. you have 5 minutes to finish your dinner then we are going upstairs for a bath) and he does much better. If we do something out of order or with out warning, he can get very upset. At preschool, things are more structured and he gets very upset if a kid puts a toy back where it doesn't belong. We have A LOT of depression and anxiety in our family. I am afraid that these may be early signs of that. I think a lot of teachers see something different and immediately think autism rather than anxiety or OCD.