Asking for Mom

The more confident you are when you drop him off, the more confident he'll be over time! Give him a big hug and remind him that mommy ALWAYS comes back :)

My mom taught preK for a decade... it's the mom's who fuss over their kids at drop off that have the kids with the most issues. Kids react to what you're feeling, so if you're excited and confident, he will be too!

Best wishes!

My son piled in with me, and was thrilled "See ya mom!" to get rid of me for periods of time at preschool, play areas, gymnastics, etc. except for a brief stint of separation anxiety at about 18mo and 3.5 years. Each lasted for about a week or two.

Separation anxiety has FAR less to do with anything you do at HOME, snd is instead far far far more related for how often they're dropped off somewhere. The more often they're dropped off, the more faith and trust they've built up that you will always, always, always, come back.

Strong 2nd for 'drop off confidence'/ excitedness/ nonchallance... and ditto again at pickup. ((I have friends whose FIRST question at pickup is always always always negative. "Were you bored/ was anyone mean to you/ etc.")) Drop-off-confidence is the most important, but pick up also shapes perception. Having a ritual (short one! Knuckes, high five, 'have fun storming the castle', waves, a wink, 'see you later aligator/afterwhile crocodile'... whatever your 10 second 'perfectly normal' ritual is) also helps tremendously.

I seriously doubt your sleeping with him has anything to do with it. He's used to being with you all day. The first couple of times you took him, it was all new and exciting. Now that he's been there few times, the novelty has worn off and he's focused on where you are.

It will just take some time; just like when working moms have to leave their kids at daycare. The kids get used to it and know that the parents are coming back so they are okay.

You might try showing him exactly where you will be so that he as some sort of visual image. I remember one time reading something that said working parents should take their kids to work with them at least once so the kids can see where their parent is all day. That way, when they think of mom or dad at work, they have a visual. Otherwise, it's just a black hole - they have no idea what/where work is.

Give him a tour of the gym and then take him to the daycare. Once he has an idea of where mom is and that mom is not really that far away and he gets used to the idea that mom is coming back and his little internal clock will kick in so he'll be able to somewhat gauge how much longer, he'll be fine.

I remember once when the time changed, my granddaughter who was in 1st grade and going to After School Program for the first time, was very upset the first day of daylight savings time because I didn't get there to get her until it was dark. Grandma always comes before dark. It didn't occur to me to tell her that it would be dark when I got there because of a time change, not because I was late.

He may cry for a bit, but go ahead and leave him. It's good practice for both of you for the first day of school!

Okay... ALL kids, at different age junctures... go through attachment to their Mommy and/or Separation Anxiety.
NORMAL.
Separation Anxiety and being "attached" to Mommy, occurs at MANY ages... but is manifested differently, per age.

Your son, is only 2.
He is normal.
Despite how he used to act or not at each venue.
Because... HE is changing and per his age... both cognitively and emotionally. Kids, at this age, their "emotions" are NOT EVEN fully developed.

Now... this has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT that you co-sleep with him or not. Tell, your Husband that.

I used to co-sleep with my kids, and so did ALL OF MY FRIENDS. Both the Mom and/or the Dad. At no time, did this then, "make" their child any more or less, "attached" to Mommy... nor did it impact, their NORMAL developmental phases of "Separation Anxiety."

What your Husband believes, is not true.

2 year olds, OFTEN wake during the night.
Heck I did too, when I was that age and older.
My parents made no big deal of it.
AND also, kids at this age, developmentally, start to have nightmares and general "fear" development... of nighttime or noises at night etc. NORMAL. And it wakes them, too.
It is all developmental based.

It is a phase.

Kids... are attached to MOMMY... AND they also have, Separation-Anxiety too.... and also ALL at the SAME time.

They are young only for a short time.
And one day they won't even want to be near you.

It's the newness and scary feeling of being in a different environment. Keep letting him go but reassure him you are still close by. The sleeping/attachment thing has nothing to do with it, he is just being human. Any human who goes thru a change has anxiety.

He'll need a while to get used to it, and the more often you go the faster he'll get into a routine. Does he have a favorite stuffed animal or toy he could take? and listen to those who've said act cheerful, send the vibe that this is a fun thing and you're not worried about him (even thought you are) When you pick him up say things like "I bet you had fun with all the kids here?" Or what's more fun, the other kids or the toys or the ....?" Two is a great age to start being around other children learning to share and take turns This could be a fantastic experience for him!

I agree with your husband. Plus, he got sick and is getting over your spending extra time with him while he was sick.

I would really try hard to go back to your own bed in the middle of the night instead of crawling into bed with him. He needs to be able to self-soothe and not get dependent on you being there for him to fall asleep again. He also needs to feel confident enough in himself to enjoy playing without you by his side all day.

Between the sickness and you crawling into bed with him, the attachment and separation anxiety is all a part of it. Work through this at night time so that his daytime will get back to normal. Just know that it will take a while, and that's okay.

Dawn

Children do go through phases, You sleepimg with him could be part of that. Kudos to you for being a SAHM, that also can be part of it he is always with you, I would try going to the gym while daddy is home and leave him with your husband. I'm sure most will dissagree with me, but you need to sleep with your husband sweetie, not with your son (My Opinion) our kids are grown now, but my husband and i never slept apart so one or the other could sleep th one of our kids. J.

He's attatched to you because he is 2 yo. He will want you and only you for many years to come. But this is up to you now to decide what you want to do about it - leave him, or have him stay with you.
Good luck

Hello, Continue to take him into the childcare. Show him the clock and tell him that you will be back when the hands are on...... Then kiss him and leave. We went through this recently with my granddaughter after she had been pretty sick and stayed home with Mommy. She didn't want to stay here or at Auntie's. My other daughter and I have co-babysat my granddaughter's whole life by alternating days. This is also very age appropriate. It will pass.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.

I think it has nothing to do with you sleeping with him. They go through stages where they don't want to be away from you. He might have forgotten how much fun it was to be there before, and he just needs to be reminded. My husband works at our local rec center, so since my son was about 6 months he has gone to the daycare on and off (2 and a half hours at the most, as that is the longest they go in the morning), a morning or two a week. He has gone back and forth so many times with wanting to be there or not. Super annoying for us, but we still try.

If you get him involved with some toys, or playing with something, that can really help. He may just need to be distracted so that he forgets about wanting you. Also, you can try talking to him about it before (at home or on your way there), and tell him what you are going to do at the gym, and that he is going to go to the daycare and play with the ... and list specific toys you have seen there that he would like. Tell him that you will come back as soon as you are done. Even at that age when I told my son what to expect, he accepted it so much better than just taking him somewhere and leaving him, or when we were leaving someplace like the park. It still works at 3 and a half.

I think the sleeping and the missing at the gym are not connected. If the sleeping is working for you for now it works. He is 2 and you are a stay at home mom and you are his universe and this is a first for him and it doesn't sound like he feels prepared to understand that when you are apart you are still loving him. As for the gym try to prepare him by telling all the fun things he can do and buy him the book The Kissing Hand. It is about how a little one can remember he is loved and supported even if he and his mother are not together. It was a great book for us, very sweet and effective.

This is what the book looks like:
http://www.amazon.com/Kissing-Hand-Audrey-Penn/dp/0878685855

I would show him the gym, where you'll be, maybe count the steps of how far apart you will be, so he is comfortable that you are a close as the next room over.

Good for you for taking care of your self and going to the gym and for teaching him in small increments that it is okay to be apart for short periods of time, this is training for when he goes to school.