Child Care at the Gym

Updated on November 02, 2009
J.D. asks from Ashburn, VA
6 answers

I have 18 month old twins. I have been at home with them full-time for the past 8 months. I love being at home with them....but I would love to get back to going to the gym (something I gave up a couple years ago when I was trying so hard to get pregnant). I also feel like I need to have a little balance in my life as far as having some things to do other than sit in our playroom with them 24x7. So my issue is that our town has an AMAZING gym. It is like the Disneyworld of gyms. LOL!!! There are multiple pools with water slides (indoor and outdoor)....rock climbing walls, salons, spas, cafes, and of course all the regular gym exercise stuff. Soooo.....my husband loves to go the gym, and I used to love it also. And so we were thinking of joining this new big gym with all these great activies. And they have a big kids area where they babysit the kids while you work out. And you can also go to the cafe, get a massage, etc... while your kids are in the babysitting area. It would be a MUCH needed adult activity!!! I could go a few times during the week and my husband and I could go together on the weekend...and the babies could go to the gym childcare. HOWEVER....here is my question.....the babies CRY their eyes out when I leave the room!!!!! This is not because they don't like the gym daycare. They literally cry in our own house when I leave the room!!! They are soooo attached to me!!! And when we tried out the gym daycare for the first time....they cried their eyes out. So of course I felt so guilty and assumed I was not going to be able to join the gym. But my husband and neighbors (who are all mom's with older kids) are all trying to convince me that the babies will get used to it....and I shouldn't stop myself from joining the gym. I am so torn!!! Does anyone have experience in this? I just can't figure out whether I am being selfish to force them to stay at the gym childcare when they are only 18 months old? Or whether I am messing them up by babying them too much to keep giving in to their attachment issues?

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi

18 months is around the age when seperation anxiety sets in anyway , whether they have been with you full time since birth or if they have been left in daycare/with nannies etc , they still go through this. They have to learn that it is normal for you to leave them with other people and that you will come back. Also for your own sanity you need to have some time out aswell. You should join the gym and get them used to be with other people and kids without you there , after a few times going they will be fine & you will feel much better for it. My youngest is 16 months and has been going into the childcare at the gym since she was 12 weeks so no yours are not too young , she will also cry on the odd occasion but as soon as I have left she is fine , also the worst thing you can do when you drop them off is hang around for a while or keep going back to them , just take them in , tell them you will be back soon and go work out! once you have done it a few times you will love it.

Good luck

K.

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I finally made it back to the gym during the day when my youngest was three. We talked and talked about how I needed exercise and how crying made me upset and worried. Until he matured, I went to the gym at 5:30 AM. I was surprised how many moms were there. The key with turning three was that the childcare went from a room with babies and tv and toys to a part of the gym with basketball and climbing equipment and even a moonbounce and staff that engaged the kids in fun and physical play more suited to a wiggly boy.

When the kids were babies, I took them to the nursery but they cried for more than 20 minutes and were brought to me screaming. Part of that is that we were very attached and they were not the kind of kids who could be put in a playpen and left alone. They were used to be carried. They are very independent now. I believe that meeting their attachment needs early on makes it possible for them to be strong and independent as they mature. It is really frustrating though when you just want to work out!

It also seemed like the nursery was a germfest so in addition to the stress of being presented with a screaming baby, the child would be sick almost every time.

Good luck.

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M.W.

answers from Washington DC on

It is a totally normal reaction on the kids' and your part. Your kids will cry and survive. They need to know that you will go and come back it is all a big learning curve. They still are not used to you leaving so it will take time. My oldest had the worst time with this. I couldn't disappear to go to the bathroom or take a shower without total meltdowns. It does take more time for some so be strong because YOU need the break so that you cn continue to be an amazing mothe to those kids. They ALL go through this fase at some point. Just tell them you love them and that you will be back soon. Maybe do a couple of half hour drop offs so that it isn't as long for them and then start to stretch it out. They will get comfortable in time and it may take much longer than you hoped. I know how hard it is to hear them scream for you but every child in the world has to learn seperation. Try not to let it tear you aprt too much. There are so any things ahead that will make you feel guilty as a mother in your future and we are the worst about guilting ourselves. Do this for them and YOU!

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C.K.

answers from Washington DC on

if you know that they are just missing you and not in a place where they are not comfortable, keep on going. it will get better.

my son when an early walker and i had a bad experience at the gym. when i left him before my class, he was smiling and excited to play. when i came back after the class, they told me he had been crying since i left so over an hour and no one came to get me. i read the riot act to the manager of the facility and ended my membership because they lied and never came to get me.

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C.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi J.,

When my oldest, now 14, was two years old, we moved here from another country. I had to take her to daycare b/c my husband and I both had to work. She cried everyday for 8 hours for three months. The teacher was wonderful, we worked together and eventually, my daughter stopped crying. She is the most well adjusted kid around. It actually helped her when I had another baby, moved daycares etc. She went through the separation anxiety but then realized, "hey, my mom really is coming back to get me". If I were in your shoes, I would set a schedule. Maybe go three times a week at around the same time and increase your time gradually. ALso, make sure that the people in the babysitting area are willing to work with you. Some gyms will find you and make you pick up your kids if they are crying too much or for to long. Kids at this age are supposed to cry when you leave them. It is part of the development process. But, when you drop them off, give them a kiss, say goodbye and tell them you will be back, then leave!! Don't hang around. The best thing you can do is to leave quickly. Good Luck.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Join the Gym! My son is also 18 months old and they will get used to playing there. Eventually they will love it too. This is a stage and they will out grow it and until they do you shouldn't miss out on your grown up time. You are doing nothing wrong letting them cry it out. If these child care providers are any good they will figure out how to distract them and get them happy and playing. It is also good for them to have exposure to other people caring for them. It will be the hardest for you. I know my son cries everytime I leave him in the church nusery but then is happy as a clam when I go to pick him up. It tears me apart to leave him crying but they assure me it doesn't last long. As long as your little ones dont cry for too long - whatever is your definition of too long - mine is about 30 minutes at this stage - then enjoy your gym and dont let mommy guilt ruin your efforts to keep yourself healthy :)

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