2 year olds are very challenging - they are just coming into their emotions, testing limits, boundaries, pushing buttons, finding that they can be independent, and it is very trying. It gets even tougher at age 3!
Our son is 3 and we've been there/done that---your post sounded alot like me last year (and still ! ) It's normal to feel the way you do - being a mom to a toddler is tough and rewarding all at the same time :-)
One thing I wanted to bring up --- some of your comments reminded me of our son. I always thought it was me expecting too much, or being impatient or quick to get aggravated...but our son was finally diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) a month ago. His doctor finally listened to my concerns and referred us to a great occupational therapist and he was evaluated and diagnosed. He goes to Occupational therapy and it is starting to help. It will take some work, some training and perserverance but we see signs of improvement.
We were told that many kids have SPD and their parents do not know it. (Heck, many adults have sensory issues we were told and do not know it). Basically it is this---input comes in thru the senses...the SPD child can't process or organize the info and react to it appropriately---they get overwhelmed or anxious even, and in turn it causes them to act out sometimes. Some seek more sensory input (banging, jumping, throwing, running), some avoid it and some react inappropriately. They're often very intelligent, normal kids otherwise...they just are overwhelmed by things sometimes and it appears they are just overly active kids, hyper, a bit unruly or stubborn.
This may or may not even be your child...but alot of moms reading this might want to check this out - and see if any of it seems familiar. Kids with SPD are crying out for help but have no way of really telling us that they are going through this and it is driving them nuts! (not to mention their parents, siblings, teachers etc).
Please read this - October is Sensory Processing Disorder awareness month. Share it if you think anyone might have a child struggling with this...
Check this out:
http://www.sinetwork.org/about-sensory-processing-disorde...
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/behavior-probl...
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-proces...