Arguements.....

I think parenting should be reasonable. Sending her cross country on a school night is not reasonable. Reasonable would be him coming across the country and spending Halloween with her if it means that much to him.

He really wants a child to fly across the country--on a school night--to trick or treat. Really?!?!? Does he get every Christmas?? You're too generous!

all that $ spent on plane tickets would be put to better use paying your lawyer to rewrite the agreement so that it makes sense.

Aside from the time and school issues, who's paying for the ticket? I don't see how it makes sense for her to go all that distance for one night. He SHOULD come to her if it's that important. I don't think you're being stingy or rude.

I would re-do the custody arrangement and SPLIT Holidays. That is not fair. Alternating holidays is fair.

What do the custody papers say???
Seems like you have no Holidays, with her.

And why can't he just go there to see her.

How old is your daughter now?

Really? He gets her for those EVERY year?

I had major issues with my then fiance (now husband) when my daughter was 6 months old. I didn't leave because I couldn't imagine not giving her a bath every night, spending every holiday with her, etc. So you're strong to be able to share her, but it's not right he gets all of that time. So you only get her when she's in school?

Yea, no way would I be okay with that and I'd fight to redo the custody papers and share those times.

This is very confusing. You live in GA and he lives in CA? It's totally unreasonable for her to go to CA for Halloween. You're not being stingy or rude.

He's being stingy to have her for all of those major holidays. Is this arrangement court ordered? If so you'd have to go back to court to change it unless he would agree to share. Have you talked with him about doing every other year with him or he has Christmas, you have New Years?

Why do you think you're either stingy or rude? I just don't see it, either way. However, at the same time I'm wondering if I understand your post. Seems that if he wants to have her for Halloween he must live close. If so, ask to trade Halloween for one of the other major holidays.

How about a trade of holidays? If he wants Halloween, you get Christmas.
and ummmm.....Kristen M has a point.....he wants your daughter to fly from GA to CA for a night?? Halloween is on a Weds this year. Or does he plan to disrupt her school schedule and keep her 3 -5 days?

what does SHE want to do? If she only.gets limited time with him and she wants to go idk send her. Yes, you don't get any holidays and that stinks BUT you get every day with her. Often on holidays you don't sure your kits much anyway they are busy with relatives
I whole heartedly disagree with everyone saying you should split holidays...sure that, would be awesome for you but she needs her dad too

Sorry but your being a bit stingy in general. Per this particular situation, not sure why the ex would want to disrupt her school week... both of mine have issues with change (5&7) so in our family travel during the school week isn't allowed. BUT, that being said. She needs her dad. If he lives on the other side of the country any time he wants to spend with her is precious. If your jealous because of what day it is, start some new traditions. My husbands ex does Christmas (or christmaslike celebration) on winter solstice. Then they fly down to have Christmas with us. Do Easter a week later or the month before and make something of it. Turn it into yours. We have "Christmas morning" with the little kids before their older brothers come down (they can both be jerks if they want to be 16 just not ready to explain Santa doesn't exist to my little ones yet). Then we do another one with the big boys on Christmas.

Maybe just some general ground rules need to be reestablished with the ex. It's only a date on the calendar, the meaning comes from you. Good luck

What do your custody/visitation papers say on the matter, specifically?

Don't you still get Valentine's Day, Columbus Day, St. Patty's and President's Day? They may not be as fun as Halloween, but who has had her for the last few Halloweens? You or him? He should get at least ONE turn at taking her trick or treating and picking out a costume, don't you think?

Wha does the custody agreement say?

Whatever it says...you should be going by that. As long as you stick to it, you have nothing to argue over.

If the custody agreement says nothing about him having your daughter for Halloween, then say no. It's not stingy or rude...that holiday is yours to have with your daughter.

Halloween is a weekday. How old is your daughter? Does she have school? Make him come to you instead and go trick or treating if that is his deal.

You're not being rude. He gets her for all of the major holidays so it's not stingy for you to want to spend Halloween with her. If he's that set on seeing her for Halloween, maybe you could agree to swap - he gets Halloween and you get the Spring Break.

Can you "trade out"? So, if he wants her this Halloween then you would get her for New Year's or Easter?

Let her go. Anytime a father wants to be a part of a child's life, let him. You have her all the time. Do be a jerk just because you can. : -)