Are You Still Active Friends with Other Women After 20+ Years?

I have friends that I have been with for almost 30 years, the problem is they are single friends- there isn't a circle. So even though I have a few friends that I have been friends with forever, we don't ALL socialize together- because they don't get along with each other. The sad thing is they are all so different that if I ever got married, I decided long ago NOT to have bridesmaids, because there would be too much drama. Sometimes I think people need space to remind them how much they appreciate each other

Awwww, you're lucky to have such long term friends.

I have three sisters. We are all very tight. We have all gone through different phases in our lives, changed, etc. We ARE still going through changes, I expect we always will, but we hang on tight to each other through it all. We are 54, 51, 47, and me, 44. Don't know what I'd do without them.

The lifetime relationships are worth a little drama every decade or so don't you think?

:)

I think as we get older what once was easy to talk about sometimes becomes more difficult as we learn to guard our private lives a little more. Some of us become more reserved others do not, the ones that do not might be the ones that get their feelings hurt a little. I know I dont share near as much personal info with my gals ... mostly because it's not as crucial to me to do so since I can manage to work most things out on my own. I dont like anyone to think my life is a shambles so I try to keep tedious personals personal.

Yes, I have 3 wonderful friends that go back 32 years for one and about 25 for two. We were adults when we met. I have never had a "bump in the road" with any of them. One is still single and other two are married--I actually knew one of the husbands before my friend met him. They are the only couple that really meshes with me and my husband. They moved away 8 years ago, but we stay in touch and see each other when we can. Our children are all friends also. I love all of them dearly and probably do more to keep in touch, but I think it is worth it. Two of them use to be very close and wouldn't be in touch at all if I did not foster it.
I had two friends from way back you suddenly dropped me like a rock. I probably will never know why, but it still hurts. Maybe I A. too loyal, but to me once a friend always a friend unless they do something really bad. I can't see love as something that goes away. You either love someone or you don't and maybe never did.
I have recently reconnected with a couple of friends from high school and renewed our friendships.
There are many people I A. "friends" with, but other than one of them, I don't think they will ever really know who I A. like the "old" friends who love me warts and all.
Victoria

No.

It was just due to changes in life.
One friend, (who was single, nice person, no kids), after I got married and had kids, just sort of changed.
Others, different interests.... and the road forked.
Differing maturity/life experiences/philosophical differences/busy lives etc.

You are fortunate, for having long lived friendships.

For me, I A. certainly not the same person I was 20+ years ago.
And, I don't like, being stuck in a time warp... per other friends that were.
That is me, personally.

all the best,
Susan

I have a couple of friends that I A. in close contact with. We talk at least once a month if not more, get together quite a few times a year, and of course email constantly. We all live in different cities but have been friends for 25 years or so. Then there are others that I was really great friends with but we've drifted apart. I think both situations are normal and can be expected.

I A. friends with a group of girls I went to school with -- Some as far back as kindergarten! And while we are not as connected as we were pre-marriage, pre-children, pre-careers, pre-STRESS...We try to get together 5-6 times a year. One friend has more or less checked out and at first we really struggled to keep her involved. It wasn't snarky or anything, she just felt pulled in another direction. Another keeps finding herself completely overwhelmed by life and sometimes she adds a less-than-positive vibe to the evening but we soldier on.

That said, I also have a group of girlfriends I inherited from my husband. So we only go about 10-15 years back. We are one big love fest. I would seriously be upset if anything caused us to "break up". I do not know why we do not have any cattiness in a group of 11 women....I A. sure there are times when we hold our tongues and silently agree to disagree because the friendship is more important than any petty argument.

Yes and No. Many of my girlfriends I have been friends with since 5th grade. We come and go out of eachothers lives. Some I talk to once a month some once a year, some once a week. Even after long periods of no contact we always can reconect right away when we do get together.

The snarkiness always arises when people are dissatisfied with their own lives. I have sometimes have had this happen with my author fsriends when I have had a successful book and they have been more than a few years without one.
I just overlook the emotional turmoil. I've had friends of 30+ years die and so everyone still left standing is a treasure to me. If I feel a friend needs some TLC I give it and then whatever seemed to be a problem goes away. The cutting comments stop when I listen to my friend and hear things from her perspective. That is what helps to keep a group together.