Are You or Your Husband a Road Warrior?

Is this something that both of you want? Is he going to be okay being away from you and the kids for that long? How old are they? Do they understand what is going on? Is there a certain amount of time for this, an end date, or from here on out?

I was the road warrior in my home, and my husband took care of everything. I didn't even know when garbage day was. That was before we had kids though. I now travel a week here or there, and again, my husband is amazing with it. Now that I just had my second, I get a bit of a reprieve from the travel, but if I do have to go for a day or two, I know that my husband is game, even if it is hard and they kids are off their schedules, etc. We are a team and do what we need to do. Support, communication, understanding and appreciation are two way streets.

I am actually the road warrior in our family. My husband and I decided a long time ago that we're a team, and whatever needs to be done to support our family and keep things going, we'll just jump in and do it.

I asked him, and he says the hardest thing for him is the night when our two little girls have ballet! He gets off work, rushes to get them from school, rushes home, gets them in their tights and leotards and then DOES THEIR HAIR (you would know how funny this is if you saw my husband - he is roughly the size of a grizzly bear and is a carpenter, so he has huge hands). Anyhow, then he has to go to ballet and sit there with all the moms who are there, and they talk about all the stuff moms talk about... it's like torture for him, poor guy. So if he could change one thing about our lives, I guess he would schedule the girls' ballet classes for a different day, LOL.

On a more practical note, we make an effort to do things like grocery shopping, making dinners ahead of time (actually I buy them from Dream Dinners), cleaning the house, doing laundry etc on the weekends when we are all at home.

But he has been so wonderfully supportive of me in my job, and when I am home I do my best to support him in whatever ways I can. I think his can-do attitude, and the fact that he does not complain when I call him from my hotel room, makes the whole thing work. It's hard to be away from home, especially when you have a wonderful spouse and adorable kids at home. It would make it unbearable if I called home and he acted mad or put out. I am really grateful that he has such a wonderful attitude.

I think you just have to go into it knowing that you two are partners in this, and even though there will be frustration on both of your parts from time to time, you are doing this for the well-being of your family.

And like I tell my husband, "How will you miss me if I won't go away?" ; )

My husband has been a road warrior for the past 3 years. He is only home 4 days out of the whole month on the average. Sometimes he'll be home for a week which is vacation time. We've been married for 7 years and most of the time, he is not home. It's tougher now because we have 2 small boys (5 y/o and 10 month old) who miss their daddy, but at this time, this is our life and we have make the best of it. What has worked for us is constant communication with daddy. We webcam/Skype and we talk on the phone 3 times a day. I have a camcorder and camera that I constantly use and when he comes home, he sees the milestones he's missed. On a daily basis, I have my daily routine of cooking/cleaning and then I spend as much time as possible with my older son doing the things that daddy normally does like biking, skating and going to the comic store. I won't sugar coat it--It's tough sometimes. Being the wife of a road warrior is not for the faint of heart, definitely.

M.

My husband was an OTR truck driver. He was home about 5 days out of the month. Nice thing was, for those 5 days it was full time him :)

But the challenge was that the kids missed him horribly. Our youngest was 5, and he cried bitterly every time daddy had to leave. It's been a year and a half since my hubby quit (he wasn't making any money with the economy bleh) and the little guy is still quite clingy, although it may not be entirely related. It was tough on the other kids, too.

However, you can make it work. Phone calls at bedtime, morning, etc. If you can have computers with video conferencing, that's great too. Camera so he can bring fun pics home of where he's been. And when he's home, he's home for his family (YOU and the kids), not to hang with friends etc. (Although he will want some of that, but it's important that most of the home time is with you).

Good luck :)

My husband is a road worrier.4 days away and 4 home. It was tough in the beginning when he was awya for 3 weeks at a time especially with 2 of my babies only 15 months apart. One had ashma so dealing with a newborn and a one year old with breathing problems in a rural area can be a bit stressfull lol. Plus seeing to the needs of my 10 year old and making sure he got the attention he needed. It really makes you appreciate when he's home.Just try to limit complaints when you talk to him. This only stresses him out about being gone and not being there to help you and fix things. Learned that the hard way ;o)

I work for a company who has a lot of road warriors. I have actually considered it myself, when the money (straight commission for me too) wasn't panning out as well here locally, but things changed, blah, blah, and I got to stay - yay! No less than half my co-workers though are, or were at one time, road warriors for our company. They have described how tough it is on numerous occasions (a few have told me they actually of perfer it), but I think what helps in ALL cases is having a supportive spouse - preferably a SAHM or Dad. It will be tough for you, but it can be done. Also, I think to some degree it depends on your relationship w/your spouse as well. Do you and your spouse do everything together? Are you attached at the hip so-to-speak? Are your only friends his friends? or do you each have some of your own separate hobbies, friends, etc. How involved is your husband in the kids lives right now? Is he going to be able to be away from them that much? Does he enjoy his alone time?
Good Luck!

My father was the road warrior in our family. My advice to you, is to support him, and understand that he will be tired when he gets home and just wants to relax a bit and not go anywhere or take road trips. Make the home atmosphere inviting to come home to. It is tough, having dad gone all the time, but if you just remember, the whole reason he is doing this, is for the family, I think you will be fine. I think if my mother had done a better job of supporting him and more understanding of his hard work, then they would probably still be married. So, support, support, support, support!! Good luck to you all!

I am not sure what you are looking for, but my hubby is gone A LOT and so is my friend's.

One thing that you sound like you already have in your mind, is you have to not expect your husband to help very much. You have to be extra patient about him helping you with the stuff that you need, and you do have to be a lot more independent. Don't agree to him getting this job and then resent him for being gone, feel sorry for yourself, or complain to other women about how hard your life is. Keep up a positive attitude -be grateful for the income and hard work he does, take care of everything while he is gone, don't leave a pile of to-do's for him when he gets back. Talk on the phone every day, and give yourself lots of girls night's out.

If you do the opposite, your marriage will suffer greatly.

Hi K.--
My husband is a "road warrior". The money is great and allows me to stay home with our kids, which I love. His schedule changes--sometimes he's gone 4 days a month, sometimes almost the whole month. Last fall he was gone 9 of 12 weeks and I suddenly understood what army wives go through--it sucked! I missed him, the kids missed him. Also, sales like this are very stressful. When he is at home he still works 12, sometimes 14 hours a day. He feels a ton of pressure to sell, sell, sell, which can make him short with the kids and cranky to be around. We've actually considered having him change jobs so we don't have to go through this anymore. When my oldest was 2 he used to call the phone "Daddy phone" because he was so used to talking to him on the phone vs seeing him in person--it wasn't good. My husband feels like he misses a lot with the kids, and it makes him sad. The others talked about ways you can deal with this, and it sounds like your kids are a little older, which could help. We've been doing this our whole marriage (nearly 8 years) and it's getting old now. However, if you just want to do it for a short time to get out of debt it might make sense. It's tough out there, though, for sales, and it may not end up being as lucrative as you think it might be. And what happens if he doesn't make his "quota"? What are the benefits? Is he driving by car or flying? Flying to other time zones can really mess with your sleep cycle and my husband has dealt with insomnia because of it. And flying a lot tends to mean you get sick more often.
Good luck with what you decide!
J.