Are You Happy with What You've Got?

I am a size 4 and have enormous boobs. I used to really hate them. It's difficult to find tops to fit, forget wearing sweaters, and bra shopping is a nightmare. Men stare at them. I felt like I wasn't taken seriously sometimes because of them. Now, it's still hard to find good fitting tops and bras, but I could care less what others think about them. Men want to stare, let 'em! I am tired of worrying about it. These boobs are mine, and I love them. Like my mom said after defeating breast cancer, "Some women have lost their breasts and would just love to have anything at all." She was right, and I never complain about them anymore.

I don't have body image problems. I have body image reality. I have had 5 kids and these boobs, these thighs, this belly, and this butt will never, ever be the same. I try to find clothes that flatter, but truthfully I would love to lose weight, simply because I would like more clothing options and for my boobs to fit in an average size shirt (they are ginormous), and am going to start weight watchers. But it's to make me happy, not anyone else, and I don't tie it to my worth as a wife, mother, sister, or friend. My husband thinks I'm beautiful and I think that makes him pretty smart, and after that I have only myself to please. =)

I know i am far too critical of myself, that's for sure. It has gotten better with time. The irony of it all is that at the time i was most critical was when i looked the best.

I try now that i have daughters to value myself for things other than my pretty face.........or my lacking of one on a particular day. I dont want my daughters over-valuing their waistlines. I know they will learn from me most of how they they will become.

Currently, yes I have a body image issue. I went from a rock solid 150 (and I mean I didn't look a pound over 130) to 216 in three years. I am now 213 and feeling better but I've never felt so horrible in my laugh. This muffin on my stomach grosses me out!

And yes I just put it out there how much I weigh...hoping that the reality will set it and the pounds will pour off! I'm not doing to be some perfect woman for my man, (he's 350+ and 6'2 and always has been he loves me for me and my HUGE boobs, which have ALWAYS been big). I am doing because I can't even play sports at this point without getting tired. So yes I completely hate picture time, I can't stand to look at pictures when I'm so overweight.

I have a huge nose, which I've hated my WHOLE life, but I've learned to live with. Would I get surgery, no way.

Do I hate myself, not by any means. Does it make me feel less valuable as person, not as a human or mom, but as a sexy woman! I'm not gorgeous, I'm not the girl all heads turn when she walks into room. But I'm not plain Jane or ugly urma.

Me, I have never had body image problems.
I have been underweight, just right and chubby (like now since and ever since I was pregnant with my 1st child).
But it really doesn't bother me.

My parents, never had body image issues either.
Don't know if that matters in the scheme of things.

But I really have not, had body image issues. Or issues with my body parts.

Sure, I could lose a few pounds. But I don't fret over it.
I still feel good about myself and my appearance.
I know I can lose weight. I just have to exercise. But I have not.
I guess because I am not bothered by my weight or image.
But if I were, maybe I'd exercise, more pointedly.
So its a double edged thing.

I am at peace, with what I've got.
But I am no way perfect in what I've got.

I was always very thin growing up and into adulthood. It wasn't until I was pregnant that I got heavy. I lost almost all the weight after my daughter was born, except 20 lbs. I was happy with it as I felt I didn't look sickly thin anymore. Now in the past couple of years I have gained weight and having a hard time losing it.
I can't stand buying clothes anymore. Why do they make bigger sizes so colorful? I don’t mind my picture taken so much anymore I am adjusting to my size. I don't really want to be as skinny as I was, but like 40lbs lighter would be nice.
I think that everyone has body issues at some point, even men. I also understand that it can be hard to work through them sometimes. I figure my hubby and daughter (and Family) love me just the way I am.

Yep hate the way I look...always struggled with those extra lbs...Disgusted to say I have 40 lbs to lose....Having C-sections made my lower abdomen look like a deflated balloon.......

Theresa you are beautiful!

5 more lbs for me, just 5 more lbs. {{{sigh}}}

I've always been overweight. Im now 44, 5'11 and weigh 280. When I was younger I was always told "you are so pretty, if only you could lose some weight..." hence starting my ongoing issues. I put on a lot of weight after high school, it just kind of kept creeping up and up and up. At my heaviest, I was almost 400 pounds and I had gastric bypass 8 years ago and got down to 250, not a pound less. I gained 20 back the first year and now over the last 7 years I fluctuate between 275 and 285. I'm glad I'm still fat since I would hate to have all the saggy skin knowing I would never have a full body tuck, which is what you would need. So I have learned to embrace my body now although if I could magically change it, I would. I have never had a problem getting a boyfriend or husband at my size. And knock on wood, I have had NO health issues because of my weight. My cholesterol is 142, lower than anyone else I know, and I don't have any kind of diabetes either. I'm sure my knees are taking a beating and my back hurt at my heaviest. But other than that, I'm in pretty good shape. I had the gastric bypass not because of looks, but because I was having a hard time physically keeping up with 2 little kids. I never was concerned about what anyone thought of me and I still don't. I don't hide from camera's and I think I'm pretty photogenic but I will cringe when I see an unflattering shot of myself...usually taken by my mom! I mean, how can you hide 280#??!! We are friends on FB and I'm sure you saw over the summer my profile pic of me and the 2 kids and I was full on in my bathing suit! So my attitude is..."WHATEVER!" Life is too short to spend it being unhappy and I just don't do that anymore. If I could change my body into a size 12 I would do it in a second, but...I have accepted myself the way I am because I have NEVER been anything different and I have a good family and friend base that love me for who I am which makes all the difference. =)

I hate my body. I have been overweight in some degree pretty much non stop since I was in high school. I did have a period of about 2 years where I was "average" sized, I was about a 12, 10 on a good day. but i'll be honest enough to admit the way I got that way was illegal and dangerous.......but now, I was overweight when I got preggo with my first, somehow managed to lose about 90% of the baby weight in a year, then got preggers again with the twins. amazingly I only gained baby weight with the twins and even though I was giganticly huge, I lost all the weight plus 10 pounds in about 2 months. but I am still overweight and now my body is all mis shappen, I have this extra skin from getting so big with the twins, I know eeewwwww TMI..... But my husband loves me, swears I am sexy and he sure does seem to think it's true. But I am not happy with my body at all. I am trying to lose the weight for myself, I am using portion control in my meals and trying to exercise, but with a 2 1/2 year old and 11 month old twins it is hard. I dont want to be super model skinny, if I could be a size 12 or even a 10 again, I would be sooooooo happy. of course I say that now but if I were able to get down to that again I would probably want to be smaller. I am in a size 18 right now, and i'm about 5'6.... oh, and I hate my chin, it pokes out and looks funny

I grew up feeling very self-concsious about my weight and my body, even though when I look back at pictures I was never "fat". But I didn't like my ample hips and thighs, ever.

It's taken me a long time to accept my body, but somehow after the birth of my kids I appreciate myself the way I am more than I ever have before. I think for me it has something to do with getting older and feeling grateful that all my parts work, and that I have food to eat, and really I have a pretty good life. Perseverating about not having the perfect body seems like a waste of energy for me now. I'm not criticizing people for whom this does weigh heavily... just to say that I think I've finally accepted myself for who I am and how I am.

Wishing you an good weekend!!

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Theresa,
I have run the gamut of diets, exercise and even some unhealthy habits as a teen in an effort to control my weight. I completely understand where you are (except for the underweight....never struggled there) but when I look at myself, I will always be overweight.
In high school, I would say I was a recreational bulimic if that makes sense. I wouldn't binge and purge all the time, just when I had "been bad". The sad part is that I felt even more guilty after the purge because I knew we didn't have a ton of money so I could I be so wasteful? (Guilt was a common theme in my home).
Presently, I work out 6 days a week and watch my calorie intake. I am not as hard on myself if I sneak a cookie or piece of candy. I just know this is not going to be a habit. I still look in the mirror and see "the fat girl" and I think I always will. I am getting happier with where my body is going. I hope one day I will be 100% satisfied but who knows. I am sure that therapy to discuss these things would be beneficial but with all the working out and calorie counting, who has time right? :o)
My biggest goal right now is simply to be a positive example to my daughter. Good eating habits that allow for ‘treats’ now and then along with being an active family. My husband has always been 100% supportive of my ups and downs so he has been a huge blessing.
Thanks for the great question and have a great weekend!

I've found that no matter how I feel I look, Now- not so great but younger days & couple kids ago , I looked pretty good. I'm not overly pretty but average & have had an alright looking body. Anyway, sorry got off track. No matter how I look, I feel that if I'm doing something to improve myself, eating well, exercising, & maintaining myself, I'm OK with not having the ideal body b/c atleast I'm doing something about it.

You are what you are. As a society we emphasis beauty and perfectionism. If you don't look like a, b, c of the current actresses then you are ODD.

Learn to live with what you have and enjoy the extral love handles and learn to dress you are you are now. Take pride that once you were a size 0 and now you are a 12 or something more. There are other cultures that are not hung up on the physical things were are in America and they are happier. Thin is not always in and fat might be where you are at. It's like the curly hair/straight hair thing and all the rest.

As long as you look respectable and presentable for the situation that is all that matters.

There's too many other things in life to worry about. Learn how to break the thought cycle of just five more pounds. Eat a balanced home cooked meal and exercise when possible and laugh each day.

Have a good weekend. Off of my soapbox now.

The other S.

My nose is odd, eventually I figured out no one else notices, they are looking at my smile. :)

In the past I had issues though for the life of me looking back at pictures I have no idea why.

I have always had body issues. I've gotten better through the years, but I will probably always have issues.

I'm 4'11" and weigh 95 pounds, but I still have more days than not that I truly think I look fat. I was anorexic for a couple of years, and spent all of my twenties and some of my 30s bulemic. I have large breasts for my small frame, and hate them. I always wear minimizer bras because I feel like my boobs make me look huge everywhere. I used to feel completely hideous because I have very naturally curly hair and I didn't know what to do with it, but now I get it straightened, and I actually feel attractive sometimes. That has helped a ton.

I'm really thankful that God gave me boys, because I would worry so much about how to help daughters have a healthy image. I worry about it some with my boys, but not as much.

Now that I'm 41, I am much more concerned with being healthy than with appearance. That has helped. I also like who I am now and realize that my character matters so much more than what I look like. I wish I could have learned that in my teens.

I'm mostly okay with the body image stuff. Yes, I am fat and don't like how it looks in pictures (especially the chubby face). But I am a plus size (it's on my hips and not in my head). If I was willing to drag my butt to the gym and eat better maybe I would be unhappy with my size but I am fully aware I am not putting the effort in to look better or be thinner. When I was younger I was mostly content with my body (though I would have liked to be bigger than an A cup then). Now I have had 2 kids and you can tell. If there were something I could change it would be the ugly emergency c-section scar. But I wouldn't trade my babies for a flat tummy!

My best friend struggled with weight and body image issues when we were in college. It wasn't extreme but therapy and getting out of a bad relationship and a stressful living situation helped a lot. Eventually she resolved a lot of longstanding issues with therapy (depression and family stuff not mostly body image issues but many times the body image stuff is related to the emotional issues). Have you ever checked out the book Fat Is a Feminist Issue? I wonder from your post if you never looked in a mirror would you be happy with who you are?

I'm overweight and always have been BUT I'm happy with who I am. I try to eat healthy and take care of myself but I think to be happy with who I am is more than liking what I look like. It is having a joyful heart, a thankful spirit, and an ability to be content in whatever circumstance I find myself in. Are there things I'd like to improve about my appearance? Yes! But those things aren't going to make or break my day, they aren't going to get in the way of me enjoying my life and embracing happiness. I would rather focus on things I can control like choosing joy, and love.

Theresa, thanks for posting this question. I am interested to see how others will respond and hope I can get some good advice.

I have had weight issues ever since I got pregnant about 10 years ago. I gained 70 lbs with each pregnancy. I had always been thin, and my mother became thinner than ever after having babies, without ever working out- I think that for her, just chasing the kids around was enough, but for me, I can only lose weight if I am completely vigilant about what I eat and if I exercise daily. It is such a battle and I often have felt like I was not "good enough" as a person. My friends are mostly thin as well. I realize they each have their own issues, but it has been super hard for me to equate myself as "the fat one". Comments from some of these "friends" (and really, these comments make me feel like they really are NOT friends) have hammered my own self-view home; one gal has constantly said things like "I am SOOO glad I am thin and fit into these little dresses!" while we get ready, or "NO offense, but I totally notice when you get stressed, you eat". Another EX-friend told me that she never worried about her husband thinking I was cute because I was pregnant or dealing with baby weight, but now that I was losing weight it made her worry more.. um, ok. Thanks!
I digress... you can tell that obviously I have thought way too much about this for years. I love to cook and bake, have a sugar addiction, and I tend to yo-yo a lot. I am maybe 15 lbs overweight, so not a ton, but enough that it bothers me.
I am feeling a LOT better about myself these days. Yes, I want more energy and I would LIKE to be fit, but I am starting to see myself as just fine no matter how I look and no matter what my weight is. I chucked my scale last month. I was tired of the number getting me down and with thinking "I am doing bad" every day. I got some bigger pants and just that alone helped because they actually fit and look cute instead of me desperately squishing myself into too-small jeans and hoping that the shame will motivate me to eat better that day ;) Lastly, and most importantly, I am throwing myself into daily activities that make me feel good and recognize my self-worth. No, I did not work out yesterday: I painted watercolor paintings with my 3 year old, then made sugar cookies with her and then did mommy horsey rides all afternoon. I would NOT trade any of that quality time for 5 lbs. I have been making time to work on my artwork almost every day, something that I have not done in 8 years, and I have seen my skills and confidence grow tremendously in that area. I am starting to learn Latin. I have been spending time with new, QUALITY friends that lift me up and do not make catty comments about my appearance to boost their own self esteem.

Hoping to glean some more good advice from your post :)

And, one last comment: I LOVE Mamapedia, because you have NO IDEA what anyone looks like, (for the most part) and you can see their TRUE beauty. There are so many posters on here that I admire and it has absolutely nothing to do with how much they weigh or how they look. I hope that you will be able to see the good in yourself as well :)

Firstly, I appreciate my body for the wonderful mechanism that it is. And I think we should all feel that way. The human body is amazing. Now, having said that.......In my younger years, I was just an average girl. Then my last year of college I kinda came into my own. After college, I was hot. I felt great, I looked great... all pinup girl sexy with a touch of exotic....or sexy librarian style when I was at work. I wasn't the prettiest thing but I *felt* wonderful. Let's just say I never had to pay for a drink if I didn't want to. Then I got married and had two children and my hotness factor went way down (not according to my husband). I usually have snot or food of some sort on me. My glasses are always dirty. My hair is messed up from chasing children and dogs. I need to lose some weight. I don't feel great about my looks anymore. Now I figure I am passable and once the girls are a bit older then I can devote time to myself to get to the place I want to be (which is feeling wonderful again). I am working on losing weight. And there are days when I feel like I look pretty good and if I put forth some effort I can look nice. I don't compare myself to others. I just want to get back to the place I used to be when I felt like I looked splendid even if I had just rolled out of bed. I want my confidence back. I appreciate that my husband still sees the pinup girl, now I want to feel like her again.

I do like my body. I'm almost 50, weigh 140 and am 5'6" tall. I need my poofy tummy tightened up. I'm not fat by any means, just too soft in the middle. I was doing situps religiously, but injured my back and got out of the habit. I have pretty good boobs for a 50 year old mom of 4, all breastfed. I have long legs that are still pretty shapely, but again, are starting to get that saggy skin look in places just a little bit.

I look in the mirror and see the sagging skin on my neck and the fine wrinkles setting in, and my boney looking hands. But really - I look pretty darn good up against almost any other woman my age.

Yes, I struggle with this but I mostly have come to peace about how I look. I just try to keep myself healthy and be a nice a person to others. Have you all seen this great video trailer about women and body image? It rocks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gkIiV6konY