Do we ask too much of our teachers? *I* think so. It's a BIG part of the reason why we homeschool.
I have a "2e" (gifted + ADHD) 9yo boy. Who is a class clown/uber popular/uber sensitive. The kind who gets the lesson in 30 seconds (slight exaggeration) and then DISTRACTS EVERYONE ELSE. He would EAT up that teacher's time. And yeah... I'd be in meetings at least once a week, and IEPs, and 504s, gifted coordination meetings with his teacher...
The schools just DON'T have the funding or support for kids like mine. It's cruel and inhumane (imho) to demand the extra hours per week my son would place on a teacher. Yeah, yeah... I know that education is a "right"... but when there's no money, there's no money! The programs and support Just. Aren't. There. Yes. We're legally allowed to insist upon it. But i don't particularly feel like trying to squeeze blood from a stone (SINCE we have another option... if I get divorced and have to enroll him, at least I saved them 4 years!). Since there's no $... that means it all would fall on the shoulders of his primary teacher.
There are only 2 local schools set up for kids like him. One (public/free) has over 600 people on a waiting list for 20 spots (some years as many as 2500, the list rewrites annually, you have to keep putting yourself on it, but after K, there's only attrition spots, aka 1-3 per year), and one is $15,000 per year (a gifted school that is set up to deal with that disorder, and the incumbent problems, and as such is also used to dealing with 2e kids. Particularly ADHD kids and Aspie kids (both nearly always gifted). The school had the resources, staff, and support for kids like mine.
Most schools just plain don't.
So I consider homeschooling my son to be a public service to every parent of neurotypical kids he isn't dragging into mischief, and the teachers who don't have to deal with him. (He's a GREAT kid, don't take this the wrong way, but he's a time-suck. AND I know it.)
((It's actually pretty funny. We go to chess club (school sponsored) and sports (little league type) up at the local elementary school. INVARIABLY when teachers find out we homeschool I get the "drill" that stops dead in it's tracks. The conversation goes like this:
"Don't you want him to __________?" (fill in any benefit of awayschooling, of which, there ARE a lot)
"We might have to someday, but for now, we're really happy HS'ing."
"But _____________."
"You DO know he's ADHD-2e.. right?"
Wide eyes
"Oh..... You know I REALLY RESPECT homeschoolers and __________" suddenly insert all the benefits of homeschooling.
Then I laugh and we talk, and we exchange ADHD tips and tricks and crazy day stories, and everything is good. ))
So I KNOW, at least our area, asks WAY too much of teachers.